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Saturday, November 12, 2005

The Funny Papers--Special Weekend Edition

With thanks to Bartcop:

In related news, Charles Manson is 71 years young today!

In Canadian politics, yet another round of He-Said/He-Said.

George keeps speaking without understanding what he's saying.

Jack Surges Ahead...of where he was...

Germany paves the way for Coalition governments everywhere!

Where was "Girls Gone WIld" for this one?

Or this?

Call this a draw.
My (Not-So) Hidden Talent

You have the natural talent of rocking the boat, thwarting the system.
And while this may not seem big, it can be.
It's people like you who serve as the catalysts to major cultural changes.
You're just a bit behind the scenes, so no one really notices.Now the big question: Am I more Machiavellian or Rovian in my approach...?
What's Your Hidden Talent?

I'll be back Monday, with more Bloggy goodness.

Friday, November 11, 2005

The Return of "Grumpy-God" Guy

Pat Robertson needs his meds upped.

"I'd like to say to the good citizens of Dover: if there is a disaster in your area, don't turn to God, you just rejected him from your city," Robertson said on his daily television show broadcast from Virginia, "The 700 Club."
"And don't wonder why he hasn't helped you when problems begin, if they begin. I'm not saying they will, but if they do, just remember, you just voted God out of
your city. And if that's the case, don't ask for his help because he might not
be there," he said.

With all of the Old Testament-type rhetoric, how does he think he can pass himself off as Christian.

Jesus didn't make an appearance until the sequel.

So much for "forgive those who trespass against you"... Pat makes God sound like a petulent four year-old.

Wednesday, November 09, 2005

Harpo Has Trust Issues

Harper doesn't trust Layton to help bring down governmentSqueeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Conservative Leader Stephen Harper says he won't introduce a non-confidence motion to topple the government because he has no faith in NDP Leader Jack Layton's support for the move.

Conservative leader Stephen Harper speaks during a luncheon in Toronto, Nov. 8, 2005. (CP photo)(not exactly as shown)
"Our experience suggests if we should again attempt to bring down the government, Mr. Layton would no doubt see our attempt as potential leverage in his negotiations with the Liberals as he has done on other occasions," Harper said Tuesday.

That sort of ties things up, doesn't it Steve-O, because Canada doesn't trust you to form our government, either.

Your move, bucky!

Darwin Booted Out Of Kansas...again!!!


Just when I think that the religious right will get tired of revisiting the Scopes trial...

Kansas education board downplays evolution
State school board OKs standards casting doubt on Darwin

MSNBC News Services
Updated: 8:03 p.m. ET Nov. 8, 2005

TOPEKA, Kan. - Risking the kind of nationwide ridicule it faced six years ago, the Kansas Board of Education approved new public-school science standards Tuesday that cast doubt on the theory of evolution.
The 6-4 vote was a victory for “intelligent design” advocates who helped draft the standards. Intelligent design holds that the universe is so complex that it must have been created by a higher power.
Critics of the new language charged that it was an attempt to inject God and creationism into public schools in violation of the separation of church and state.

All the while, true evidence is smirking them in the face!

Why should anyone believe, then, the drivel coming out of Baby Scalia about Roe V. Wade?

What does that mean anyways? He "respects" the decision. So, he'll salute it before pissing all over it?

I foresee L-Girl receiving a whole bunch of requests for info in the coming years...

Tuesday, November 08, 2005

The F@$%-in' Funny Papers

If you don't have your war on yet, what exactly are you waiting for?

Weren't you always wondering...?

Another friendly Funcentral quiz:

Your Pimp Name Is...

Dr. Glider
There are some readers out there (Mom, I'm thinking of you) whose Pimp Name I do not need to know. Sharing is not always caring. Sometimes, sharing is harmful.
The rest of you--share away!

The Blame Game

Now, don't get me wrong--I've never been adept at negotiating the rocky terrain known as brother-sister relationships...but even I would never dream of assigning blame to anyone else for the craptasticial PR summer enjoyed by Tom "No anti-depressants for me!" Cruise.

I guess that maybe the offers have stopped flooding in now, even while filming for MI3 s going on. Cuz Sister is g-o-n-e!

Here's hoping that the fake Tom Cruise blog will update shortly, with more "inside" info. My fave entry so far is "Save Katie? From What?"


Bad Scooter Searchin' For His Groove!

With a close encounter of a prison-soap kind now imminent, perhaps Lewis Libby will require all of the possible royalties from his scorching 1996 novel, "The Apprentice", that he can get his hands on.

To that end, I provide a link to a brief excerpt of the page-turner, and ask: Do you think George or Dick had read the book before giving Libby the Staffer job in the first place?

Amazon provides more snippets here, and a bizarre auction link for copies with an asking price of $599 US!
Bonus points to the first reader to correctly guess where the title comes from.


I hate white male Floridian legislators!


Florida girl has abortion blocked
A pregnant 13-year-old girl in Florida has been told she cannot have an abortion because she lacks the maturity to make such a decision.
A state court granted an injunction which prevents the girl from terminating her pregnancy.
She is three months pregnant and had planned to have an abortion on Tuesday of this week.

Here's where I stand on the Right to Choose, just in case anyone is curious: If it isn't my baby, it isn't my business!

However, I don't stop there, because I understand that a more definite policy is required, laws or no laws. The mother, failing mental or physical incapicity of such severity as to be unable to make a sound and legal decision one way or another, should be the final word on the matter of terminating or continuing any pregnancy.

The father could, but shouldn't have to be, consulted. If I were in that sitch, I'd hope to be--but who knows, right?

In general, Right-To-Life-ers characterize this choice as some rock-paper-scissors type decision, entered into as lightly as choosing lipstick or nail polish colours. This debasing makes it easier to hold their opponents in constant contempt. Screw them! The choice is never an easy one, at any age, at any time--ever!

Forcing a 13 year old girl to give birth for fear of angering their Cloud Deity??? That is obscene.

She didn't lack the maturity to have sex.

She didn't lack the maturity to make the decision to abort.

She was careless. Shit happens. That's what being young is all about. Becoming a mother before puberty ends seems like undue punishment.

Law and Government have no business here in this case.

--end o' rant--

Monday, November 07, 2005

Let's Pretend...

...that I'm Paul Martin, and I've just been informed that Jack Layton has resoundingly refused to further prop up my minority government.


...does "No" mean "No"?

Or does it mean "Try harder"?

With the surplus that I have, I could buy approximately 6,000 MRI machines, and still have some leftover for homeless shelters and better water for aboriginal reserves.

Do we really want to throw the damn country to Harpo and his band of idiots and yes-men?

If we pull the plug on the Minority gov't, that's fine with me--they won't be very effective legislatively now anyways. They've passed Bill C-38, which is enough of a legacy for most governments.

But now, what? Its doubtful that they would garner anything but another minority. As much as I've dreamt of the day, the NDP don't stand a chance of gaining that many seats. The notion of a Con-Bloq coalition is enough to scare me; a Conservative majority is enough to put me back on sedatives!

Honestly though, it is probably time for change, as much as I hate to say it. The longer that Martin holds onto power, the greater the eventual electoral backlash will be. We don't necessarily vote for change as much as get totally exasperated by the people holding the purse strings. We saw it in 1984, and again in 1993. We're overdue.

If the masses truly don't see the differences betwen Martin and Harper, then they deserve what they get.

Watch for me, spearheading the charge for an independent Ontario.

Fight the powers that be!

The Great Debate

Anyone else watch the live "West Wing" episode last night? It featured a fictional debate of the issues facing the US today. I couldn't help thinking that this is what should have happened last fall, if Kerry really wanted to win.

More importantly, it was how the Dems will stand a chance of winning in 2008. When Jimmy Smits' character lashed out at Hawkeye for labelling (libelling???) him a Liberal -- oooh, my heart stopped.

In Canada today, Jack Layton will supposedly conclude whether or not to remain supportive of the government, thereby stalling an election. When the CAW is telling the NDP leader what to do, it's pretty damn difficult to say no. Heads sez keep your party faithful, Tails sez break out of the labour ties of old, and forge a political future of unofficial party status. Your move, sir!

Don't Walk--Run!!!

...This is must-see stuff here!

They take on Bill Frist ("I'm mad as Hell, and I'm not gonna take it anymore"), Libby, Scalito, Rummy--and more!

So much idiocy, in one compact little list!

Sunday, November 06, 2005

Where were we...?

"It's been a long time since I rock and rolled, It's been a long time since I did the Stroll. Ooh, let me get it back, let me get it back,Let me get it back, baby, where I come from. It's been a long time, been a long time, Been a long lonely, lonely, lonely, lonely, lonely time.

Yes it has. " ~~Rock and Roll


Anything new with you?I never meant to take a six-and-a-half week vacation from the blog-o-sphere, but I guess I just ran out of steam, or at least clever things to say. Liam may question that last statement, arguing that it actually occurred sometime back in 1996...but I digress.

There was certainly no shortage of current events to comment on, what with the Hurricanes, Bush fucking everything up, Harriet Miers, Gomery, DeLay getting arrested, Bush fucking everything up, Tom Cruise having an earth baby, oil companies posting huge profits, Harriet withdrawing, Bird Flu/Pandemic mania!!!, more Gomery, Libby being indicted, Bush fucking everything up...

Was it just me, or did it look like Bush was going to nominate Dr. Pepper for Surgeon General next? (Sorry, I've been test-driving that line for weeks now. I should have blogged it sooner!)

Anyway, I'm back now, and I promise to start visiting your sites again too. I've been very bad. I don't know how to make it up to everyone. (The three or four of you, anyways...)So, I'll just start off by being me again...

  • How's this for a defence?
  • A gentle reminder that blogs are a public domain.
  • Is there only 25 of them? Anyone out there have others for the list?
  • With only a month and a half left for Christmas shopping, be sure to put your bid in on this E-bay item!
  • Local freebie paper banned at grocery chain over sex columnist; people continue having sex...This is what all of the fuss is about!

...and finally, if the War on Drugs ever requires new poster children, I nominate these two.

I promise not to be a stranger again, without prior notice.

I'm off to make tacos now, for me and my Sweet Baby. I'll see you back here again soon.

Thursday, October 20, 2005

Big Re-Launch Coming Soon! (Sunday-ish?)

Thanks for being so patient.

I haven't fallen off of the face of the Earth.

With Georgie B. as my role model, I just decided to take a few weeks off, while the rest of the world went to Hell in a hand-cart.

In the meantime, here's a Dora shot to tide her fans over...

Wednesday, September 28, 2005

Hump-Day Distractions

Wednesday already? Wow, time flies when you're a puppy-parent!

I've been doing this Blog thing for five months now, and while I've tried to keep it light and airy and fun (note: the title!), I am a bit politically oriented.

Not that there's anything wrong with that.

Stories have come and gone, but the last few months have been almost non-stop with the "Story-of-the-week-destined-to-topple-the Bush-Administration", yet he's still there, smirkin' and jerkin'. The DSM couldn't do it. Rover-gate wasn't up to snuff. The extended vacation failed. Cindy Sheehan came close, what with Iraq's "Bloody August" lending a hand. Katrina blew up, then petered out, with no thanks to Georgie's smart-mouthed mom.

What we have left is:
  • The US is so much in debt right now that no future president will have an alternative to raising taxes.
  • The Senate Democrats are rolling over and playing dead in the Roberts confirmation.
  • No clear Dem candidate for president has popped up yet, Joe Biden not-withstanding.
  • Texas gets spared by Rita, Bush looks prepared.

In Canada, the ride has been equally rocky for the Liberals, with "Alias"-like cliffhangers each week, and evil-doers plotting the downfall of the government. Yet, the status quo has been the rule. Gay marriage passed, and the world didn't end. Harpo barbecued with the selected masses, and is more unpopular now than ever before. Martin looks poised to dodge a huge bullet from the Gomery investigation, and has managed to become more popular without really doing very much.

Britney had her baby, and "Dashton" got hitched--or did they?!? The Tom & Katie show--soooo over! The ruse may still be going on, but the only folks still caring seem to be the publicists.

As summer 2005 comes to a close, and I prepare to take my dog for a walk, I send out a salute to the non-stories of the year, for psyching us out to the point of indifference. Are we fickle, or just tired of being played?

And now, the rest of the blog...

Serenity in 3 days!

Did anyone miss these the first time around? Who did you vote for? Talk about decisions!

...from Daveberta and Sean Incognito...
Which Colossal Death Robot Are You?
Brought to you by Rum and Monkey

Tonight on TV, comes the epic choice (and why I'm happy to have PVR {Canadian TiVo}): Lost or Veronica Mars?!? Talk about you einy-meeny-miney-moe moments. All that technology, and I still managed to miss Laura Bush's reality show debut. Damn!

This is the type of law that gets enacted when every news outlet is focused on the tragedy du jour--is the ACLU asleep or something?

First, 'Billgrimages', now 'Clinton Condoms'! What a guy!

Ahh--Oktoberfest! Beer and Porn will never go out of style.

All's forgiven with Michaelle?

With this, there's now no good reason to not make home-porn. Paris, Fred, Pammy--it's only $20! What's your excuse?

Why is this still fun?

Any thought to casting "Dr. Broom" as the next Spider-Man villain?

Police malpractice?

Why, God? Why?!?

Finally, I share this because I truly care. I really do. And this. And this. And this, again.

Now, go out and take on the day!

The Numbers Game

Justice no longer DeLay-ed! Also, Dingwall bails!

The Hammer gets nailed! Court docs here.

Dingwall defends expenses by quitting Mint.

The Numbers Game, part two

Since May 2005, when I posted the "Cost of the War" scroll in my sidebar, it has addded almost $20 billion. 350+ more American soldiers have died.

Oh, and Bush scheduled a five-week vacation, that only Mother Nature could cut short.

This needs to end, now!
I can't believe the news today
Oh, I can't close my eyes
And make it go away
How long...How long must we sing this song?
How long? How long...
'cause tonight...
we can be as oneTonight...

Broken bottles under children's feet
Bodies strewn across the dead end street
But I won't heed the battle call
It puts my back up
Puts my back up against the wall
Sunday, Bloody Sunday
Sunday, Bloody Sunday
Sunday, Bloody Sunday

And the battle's just begun
There's many lost, but tell me who has won?
The trench is dug within our hearts
And mothers, children, brothers, sisters
Torn apart

Sunday, Bloody Sunday
Sunday, Bloody Sunday

How long...How long must we sing this song?
How long? How long...
'cause tonight...we can be as oneTonight...tonight...
Sunday, Bloody Sunday
Sunday, Bloody Sunday
Wipe the tears from your eyes
Wipe your tears away
Oh, wipe your tears away
Oh, wipe your tears away(Sunday, Bloody Sunday)
Oh, wipe your blood shot eyes(Sunday, Bloody Sunday)
Sunday, Bloody Sunday (Sunday, Bloody Sunday)
Sunday, Bloody Sunday (Sunday, Bloody Sunday)

And it's true we are immune
When fact is fiction and TV reality
And today the millions cry
We eat and drink while tomorrow they die
(Sunday, Bloody Sunday)

The real battle just begun
To claim the victory Jesus wonOn...
Sunday Bloody Sunday
Sunday Bloody Sunday...
--"Sunday Bloody Sunday", lyrics by U2

Tuesday, September 27, 2005

Further proof that they hate us for our freedoms...or whatever!

Just what every little Muslim girl (and closeted Muslim boy) needs!

all I want for Christmas...

In celebration of the 30th anniversary of Bruce Springsteen's breakthrough 1975 album "Born To Run," Columbia Records is preparing a box set that will include two DVDs along with a newly remastered version of the album.
Santa, I swear that I've been a good boy for most of the year!

Monday, September 26, 2005

CDW: "Agent 86" 86'd

I didn't know until today that Don Adams was a three-time Emmy winner for playing Maxwell Smart.

Funny thing--when you learn about someone after they die.

Sorry about that, chief!

Note the uncanny resemblance to a younger, smarter, Dubya. Scary, eh kids?

Sunday, September 25, 2005

A Neat Game

from Crabletta, and beyond...comes this neat game:

The Rules:
1. Go into your archive.
2. Find your 23rd post (or closest to).
3. Find the fifth sentence (or closest to).
4. Post the text of the sentence in your blog along with these instructions.

Here's mine:

Best advice, music fans--support local talent, catch a rising star--and if you still have a Stones-jones, pick up a copy of Exile On Main Street. (It was my attempt at mitigating the disappointment of not being able to spend $400 to see the Stones in Ottawa)

It's kinda hard to fathom that this was almost 400 posts and four and a half months ago.

Today In Rotten History

September 25 1980

On the NBC talk show Tomorrow, SNL alumnus Chevy Chase calls actor Cary Grant a "homo." Grant sues, but rumors of his homosexuality follow him for years. The one thing known for certain: Grant is the first person to use the word "gay" in its modern context on film: In Bringing Up Baby, while in a pink fluffy silk rope he exclaimed "I've just gone gay all of a sudden!" Look at the portrait -- judge for yourself.

September 25 1980
After spending the whole day drinking, Led Zeppelin drummer John Bonham dies from alcohol poisoning. His corpse is discovered having choked on its own vomit.

September 25 1991Doogie Howser loses his virginity on ABC television.

September 25 1997
In exchange for dropping the forcible sodomy charge against him, former NBC sportscaster Marv Albert pleads guilty to misdemeanor assault and battery. Albert's rape trial brought to light embarrassing allegations that he wears women's underwear, and asked women to procure men for group sex. The sheep issue was never raised. His defense accepted the plea bargain after the judge ruled he would admit information that Albert was involved in a sex fight resulting in the loss of his magnificent toupee.

Get Your War On!

The New TV Season

I have to admit that my absence from daily blogging has not been entirely Dora-related. In fact, I am what most people refer to as a couch potato. I've been lapping up the new TV season lately, and it's only going to get better!

Lately, I've been enjoying Rome, from HBO (via TMN in Canada), although TWOP's reviews certainly make the show more enjoyable! Not to mention, understandable. Prison Break's been okay too, though not exactly a replacement for 24.

This last week saw the return of two of my absolute favourite shows, Lost and Arrested Development, along with 2 of the 3 CSI's and 2 of the 3 Law & Orders . This coming week will bring Desperate Housewives, Veronica Mars and Alias. What with CPAC on hiatus until at least October, and the Weather Channel being usurped by CNN, what else is there to do but grab a cold one and the channel-changer, and settle in for the evening?

Well, there is the anticipation of Serenity debuting on the silver screen next week, and the eventual return of BSG to Canadian airwaves. Entourage should be back next June.

No TV boo-hoo-ers allowed here! I've said before that I have little (read: none!) patience for those who trot out the old "I have no time for television anymore" routine, and the condescending tone which they inevitably use to say it.

To Meet Or Not To Meet, That IS The Question

A few days ago, I left a comment on L-Girl's blog which, in essence, said that I knew almost exactly where she and Redsock have set up camp. She replied that I should feel free to stalk her anytime that I was in the neighbourhood--which is about four times a year, usually for family birthdays, Christmas and Sister's Canada Day BBQ.

Which begs the necessary question--should Blog Buddies ever meet face to face? Or does it, in fact, shatter the illusions we've built up, lo these past month/years?

So fess up, folks--have you met any of your blog buddies? If yes, who? If not, who would you like to meet?

I would like to meet L-Girl and Redsock, if only because they seem like two people that me and Sweet Baby could actually have a decent conversation with.

CDW: Butch the Bully

Alfalfa's "one eye-browed-baby" bites the big one...

Tuesday, September 20, 2005

Bush Family Crime Tree

Now updated, to include Next-Gen Drunk & Disorderlies!

Thanks to Bartcop!

Saturday, September 17, 2005

Sweet Sweet Music...

...to my ears...another "Screw You!" to the corporate parasite known as Wal-Mart!

The Quebec Labour Board has ruled that the closing of a Wal-Mart store this year amounted to a reprisal against unionized workers and has ordered the company to compensate former employees.
The labour board concluded that Wal-Mart Canada, Inc., failed to prove that the closing of its store in Jonquiere in April was "real, genuine and definitive" as required under the Quebec Labour Code.
Their (Wal-Mart) trying to demonstrate an unprofitable store is like trying to prove the existence of an unprofitable Tim Horton's!


In other news, I really hope that The Abomination doesn't read Rotten.Com . Their DailyRotten section has a "Today in Rotten History" entry which could give him an idea...so to speak.
Sep 17 1859
San Francisco resident Joshua A. Norton proclaims himself Emperor of these United States, a title he retains until his death in 1880. The successor to Emperor Norton I has yet to be anointed.
Like I said, here's hoping...
Is it time for another "Family Guy" clip already? I have an idea--how about two today--and don't bug me again for a while? What do you say?

Enjoy, kiddies!

Friday, September 16, 2005

Just In Case This Douch Bag Wants To Run For President Someday...

Bush Family Crest
...please print out copies of this entry from The Smoking Gun.

Seems like little Jeb-Jeb Junior is cut from the same cloth philosophically as his Abomination of an uncle.

Gotta love the respect he shows for law and order...
According to the below arrest warrant, filed with the Travis County
Municipal Court, an intoxicated Bush, "continually pushed against this officer
and struggled as I attempted to handcuff him."
Seems like maybe he could be helping out the hurricane survivors, instead of tying one on, no? That is if it mattered to them what other people thought of them. Or if they had souls...

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