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Saturday, August 13, 2005

Shiny Happy Bloggers

Mark Morford has written an excellent column about so-called "Liberal Intolerance". After the week of right-whinger idiocy on my comments section, thanks to Jeffy and his flock, reading Morford's words was a real inspiration. He receives oodles of cave-man e-mails slagging his progressive opinions, and I think he found a great way to respond to it. See if you don't agree:


"... Where is that famous so-called tolerance I thought all you libs were supposed to possess like some sort of gentle polyamorous smiling hug for the world?"
To which I reply: You cannot be serious. Does the answer really need to be articulated? Is it not painfully obvious? Can I have a shot of Patrón and a long nap before I answer? Here goes ...
You, hate-mailers from the sanctimonious Right and even some of you morally paralyzed middle-grounders from the Left, are correct. I am, in fact, deeply intolerant. It is true. I can hide my deep biases and predispositions no longer.
I cannot, for example, tolerate the dark and violent road down which this nation seems intent on careening like an Escalade on meth. I cannot tolerate brutal never-ending unnecessary wars and I cannot allow gay rights to be bashed and I truly loathe watching women's rights be slammed back to 1952. Or 1852.

Stand up and fight for what you value, folks. The Right are intent, fueled by fear and intolerance and prejudice, on doing real damage to the social structure of North America. It isn't nearly as prevalent in Canada (yet) as it is in the States, but why wait?

This week, we witnessed a grieving mother become vilified as she sought answers, while the smirking Abomination of a President drove by in his limo. Why is she the bad guy in this? That ain't right!

Profits for Halliburton and the major oil companies are soaring, all the while the US deficit and gas prices are doing the same thing.That ain't right!

Same-sex marriage is being touted as the gateway social issue leading to legalized polygamy, beastiality and incest, at the same time that a former Nazi is elected Pope. That ain't right!

Hydro companies are turning back the clock on scientific progress approximately 3 centuries, by turning to coal to solve their production woes, at the same time that the effects of global warming are creating the need for electricity in the first place. That ain't right!

Words are being redefined so that their legal meaning won't cause political problems, but torture is still going on. That ain't right!

Fight back as if your country depended upon you...because it does.

--End of rant--
In other news:

Meet me at the Carwash, ahh!

...and that's how you market a successful business, kids.

Play nice, now!

Fun with South Park Characters

Me, before Sweet Baby:
Dude, I toooooooooooooooo-tally drank the bong water

Me, after Sweet Baby:
Would anyone care for a Stella?

Join in with the fun!!! Build your own South Park character here!

Vanity Fair-er

Have no fear, Jeff--help for you is now available! They can have you fixed up in no time.

Friday, August 12, 2005


'Well, it's the same way I don't care about anything else: Christ died for my sins and nothing else matters.' -- Ann Coulter

Hot For Teacher Redux

2005 is the year of the TILF, I guess.

Add another one to the list.

It's Bush's fault.

Impeachment now!

Compassionate Conservative?

Tell it to Cindy Sheehan.

If you had the balls to meet with her, you snivelling excuse of a president.

Which you don't.

"...there were reports he is travelling solely by helicopter when he leaves the ranch in an effort to avoid racing past the protester in a limousine."

That's smooth, George.

Also smooth is the way that your flacks have been crucifying Cindy in the press. Grieving moms are not a demographic that historically is frowned upon by society. You're only doing damage to yourself with this one.

This is how folk heroes are created.

This is how Nixon lost Vietnam.

This is the End.

Impeach Bush!

Thursday, August 11, 2005

CAN-AM Bloogers Unite!

Another cool alliance to join, with great thanks to Robert at A Little Left of Centrist!

Just a friendly

Alliance of U.S.

and Canadian


The Daily Wanker: Legal Redefinition Edition

To quote my least favourite Albertan, I call bullshit!

"(Department of Justice) spokeswoman Cynthia Magnuson issued this short statement: "The United States does not practice torture, export torture or condone torture."

In legal briefs written by U.S. Attorney General Alberto Gonzales, the Justice Department has defined torture to mean "pain consistent with major organ failure or death."

From the Concise Oxford English Dictionary

torture: n
1) the action or practice of inflicting severe pain as a punishment or a forcible means of persuasion;
2) great suffering or anxiety

Hmm...no mention of organ failure, or even death. The Oxford way, listening to a Yoko Ono CD, is still torture. Alberto's way, I'd have to listen to the same CD until my kidneys failed, out of spite.

So, the question is this: Did Alberto Gonzales need to change the definition of torture in order to exclude current practices? Does the United States condone the dictionary definition of torture?

The repugs redefine torture as if they had every right to do so; they screamed with indignant and righteous fury when Clinton postulated what the definition of "is" is.

Fair and balanced. Never fair...never balanced.

9/11 Grief Has Officially Jumped The Shark

This is not about honour or respect, or remembering the dead and injured...:
Pentagon to host 9/11 march, show


The Pentagon will hold a massive march and country music concert to mark the fourth anniversary of 9/11, Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld said in an unusual announcement tucked into an Iraq war briefing yesterday.
"This year the Department of Defense will initiate an America Supports You Freedom Walk," Rumsfeld said, adding that the march would remind people of "the sacrifices of this generation and of each previous generation."
Except for the generation who dodged the Vietnam War draft, right Rummy?

One assumes/hopes that the Dixie Chicks and Steve Earle will not be performing.

So, what do you think? Is this merely another example of the Bush Reich's insensitivity, or an outright assault upon decency.

I blog...you decide.

Fly Me To The Moon...

...let me play among the stars...

...all for a mere $100 million?

I'm starting to save for it right this minute!

I'll happily accept all donations.

Bill Gates!!! --I'm talking to you, sir!

George Lucas-- you owe me, for the last three movies, and the countless re-releases of the good ones!

Don't be shy...why would you want to deprive a poor Canadian boy of his dream...?

PS: Happy Birthday, step-kid...wherever you are!

Wednesday, August 10, 2005

CDW: Miss Ellie!

Lung cancer takes another great. Bel Geddes was always the heart and soul of Dallas.

My vacation resumes now...

No more celebrity deaths for 24 hours!

Tuesday, August 09, 2005

Serve The Servants

This is funny.

Thanks to Too Stupid To Be President, for the link.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
They also have a little something for L-Girl and Redsock:

Top 11 reasons not to flee to Canada

11. Wouldn't want to be subject to U.S. foreign policy.
10. We've invaded enough countries.
9. Red-staters would suffer terrible privation without federal funds derived from blue-state taxes.
8. Loverboy.
7. Schwarzenegger has already drawn up plans for its annexation in 2009.
6. A Canadian gallon of gas is almost $3.00
5. 50% Canadian Content from 6PM to midnight.
4. You actually believe that the U.S. meat packing industry is protecting you from bovine spongiform encephalopathy.
3. It didn't work for the Nez Perce.
2. A summer day is about 25 degrees.
1. No one believed you would actually go through with it, drama queen.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Novak is a member of a sect? It sez so here

She thinks that she's a fan?!? Hah, I say! No one's a bigger fan than moi!
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

I'm taking a day off from this stuff. It will be my first in three and a half months.

Catch ya's back here again, on Thursday!

The Daily Wanker

Matt Drudge, for many reasons... but today, for fueling the lunatic notions of a seperatist Alberta. Granted, Ezra "Yes I'll take friggin' fries with that!!!" Levant's prattlings weren't based entirely in reality to begin with, but now they've gone and sold their idea to the 'Mericans, all hungry fer oil and all.

I like this from the Calgary Sun's Kitty Litter liner notes: "In the poll's supplementary questions, 64 per cent of respondents said Martin had done a "poor job" at ending western alienation. "

What exactly Westerners had done to end western alienation was not addressed in this poll. Nor is it ever addressed. They sulk and whine and whing a whole heap load, but they sure don't know how to shut the hell up.

I hope that when the time comes for the selfish bastards to pack up and go that they remember how federal tax incentive programs helped pay for the petroleum industry's development over the last 25 years.

You can make the cheque out to "The People of Canada".

I'm sure that the fine fellas at the Cocksmoker-stan Chronicles can't wait to leave this fine nation of ours. But from the paltry, less than a majority showing for this "non-uprising", it won't be happening anytime soon.

Daily Constitutional

I caught "Six Feet Under" last night, and I must agree with the TWOP posters, that the show is ending on a high note, even if it sagged a bit during the last two years. Only John Irving can strike the same level of tragedy & comedy. Great cast, great writing--the guy in the red hoodie scared the bejeezus out of me for about 20 minutes after it ended.

Lauren Ambrose still rocks. All Alone is all we are...indeed-amundo.

Ever have a day like this?

  • Thanks to Sharon, via SB for the pic.
  • I betcha he didn't call "No survives-ies!"
  • Let this be a warning to everyone--no more pictures!She told us that we couldn't handle her truth, and we ignored her
  • Hey!!!-- This place is like Amazon-For-Adults! .
  • Is there anything sadder than knowing Corey Feldman couldn't keep his web site up?
  • Ezra knows all about impotency -- how is it that this wank still pulls down work after his Post flame-out, anyway? Is he really David Frum?

Last but not least...

I am

What Rejected Crayon Are You?
Blessed are the Indifferent. As if they care.

Cannon Fodder

Grumpy D.A. wants to take down Hillary.

Good luck with that.

Ask Rick Lazio if his ass is feeling any better after the electoral reaming he took in 2000.

Things To Do In Denver When You're...Aww Shit!!!

Singer Marc Cohn Shot in Denver

Sure, punish him for the unbearable "Walking In Memphis", but if you had succeeded, it would have played for days on end.

Then, where would we be?

Good thing he wasn't walking with Yoko or Courtney. He'd have been history.

Surplus Highs & Lows

On the one hand, this news is great for our national debt problems. For the eighth year running, we have an opportunity to pay back on federal loans.

Our wealthier neighbours to the South seem to have all but forgotten what it feels like to run a budget surplus.

But as Monte "Captain Buzzkill" Solberg pipes up: "This is the government playing all kinds of games again," he said. "It's a frustration that they refuse to be honest with the public about the nation's finances." Of course, coming form a man who has never been part of a ruling party, federal bean-counting must seem rather easy. Much in the same way I have always thought that I should and could be an Olympic luger.

What Monte really wants to say is that this announcement kinda puts the kibbosh on the 2006 election talking point of the Liberal-NDP budget concessions being the ruination of a bankrupt country.

Now, I suppose that they'll fall back to the less taxes-more self-government mode of campaigning. Maybe even paint PM as a robber-baron. The Fraser Institute be damned (and if that isn't the first time that phrase has ever been typed, then it's overdue!), I think that the majority of Canadians trust the Liberals with managing the country's purse strings--waaaay more than Captain Buzzkill and his leader, Mr. Leatherpants. With them, we would have a Flat (???Earth???) Tax inside of three months.

Thanks, but no thanks.

Intelligent Design Is A Bit Insulting To The Monkey

...on the right.
  • it doesn't take five weeks of vacation a year while the nation's "at war"
  • it hasn't sent 1800+ kids to their deaths in a falsified war
  • it doesn't surround itself with its daddy's friends
  • it hasn't been an abject failure at every venture it has ever undertaken--including being President
  • it doesn't squawk and jump up and down and fling feces at the walls...oh wait a sec...
  • it doesn't equate blood with oil
  • it knows how to drive a bicycle
  • it would probably have been a more inspirational leader on 9/11
  • ...aww Fuck it...the monkey's just smarter--okay!!!

Monday, August 08, 2005

Photo Caption Contest, #6--"Come As You Are" Edition

On your marks...get set...and...caption! I'll start off by saying that Scott McLellan sure knows how to treat the press, doesn't he?

The Daily Wankers: H-E-Double Hockey Sticks Edition

Bertuzzi and Bettman ...Todd for being a mindless thug who ruined the game and name of hockey, and Gary...for pretty much the same reason.

The Top 10 Conservative Idiots

It's up!!! In the "Bullshit" edition, guess who is number one?


But he had pretty stiff competition on this one.

There's The Abomination, of course--and Senator Ricky, and The Ohio Uber Alles, and Little Katie Harris and some KKK freak who doesn't want to run for political office now that everyone knows that he's a KKK freak...and well...the usual band of merry idiots. Enjoy!

Recently Visited & Recommended

I've been venturing out into (somewhat) unknown blog territory recently, and have these sites to report back to you on:
8Zydeco Fish, already a regular on Library Bitch and We Move To Canada
8Yellow Dog Blog
8Truth, Beauty, Love and Elisa
8The Curmudgeonly Crab, another G and L-Girl fave (see a trend appearing?)
8Swerve Left
8so long, and thanks for all the fish
8Poop'd Culture
8farnorthblog - another L-Girl regular (this is bordering on madness, now!)
8Content Whore, a Damien co-production (still, very funny!)
8Raed In The Middle
8Infertile Vertical
8Mental Fiber
8Bring It On

Please visit them. They each have something unique and interesting to say.

CDW: Peter Jennings

Very sad news.

His grace, poise and intellect will always stand in defiance of the Fox Squad.

They were not his peers. Cronkite, Brokaw and Rather were.

When there's nothing left to argue about...

...let the nit-picking begin!

The lead editorial in Sunday's Toronto Sun leads off by saying that they actually have many areas of agreement in the selection of our new Governor-General:

"...(PM Paul Martin) has chosen someone who seems genuinely good-natured, talented, accomplished, articulate and caring -- who may well be able to, as one prime ministerial staffer gushed, make Canadians "fall in love"with her.
He has chosen a relatively young GG -- Jean is 47 -- with a 6-year-old daughter, meaning her family is sure to inject some life into often-staid Rideau Hall.
He has refrained from choosing some Liberal party stalwart, which would have been blatant patronage.
He has made history by designating Canada's first black GG, a daughter of Haitian exiles and descendant of slaves -- a multilingual woman whose personal story truly lives up to the hype of inspiring others and representing the "new face"of a multicultural country. "

Wow, that is really concilliatory of you, folks. The Sun isn't normally known as a staunch Liberal supporter, but way to pull it together for the country...

...Oh, you weren't finished?

Nevertheless, here are a few things we dislike about Martin's decision to appoint her:
He tried to pretend it wasn't a sop to Quebec, where, post-AdScam, he is in desperate need of votes and good press. He should have given the rest of the country a break and admitted it --we all know it's traditional to follow an anglophone GG (Ontarian Adrienne Clarkson) with a francophone, and given present Liberal fortunes there was no way this one would come from anywhere but Quebec.

So...who would you have liked to see instead, guys?

How about CTV's Lloyd Robertson next time?
Or, if it must be the CBC, let us be the first to nominate Don Cherry.
Ahh...white men.

Veiled racism is still racism. You're fooling no one.

Sunday, August 07, 2005

2005: The Year of the Taser

Imagine hearing this...

"You're gonna get tased, dude."

A man apparently woken from a drunken stupor by Pierce County sheriff's deputies, repeatedly zapped with a stun gun and finally chewed by a police dog — all in front of a production crew from the TV show "Cops" — has sued the county and the officers, alleging brutality.
Everywhere you go from now on... FOX will be there with a film crew.

I hereby reserve the rights to the phrase "Microsoft is a money-grubbing whore-poration!"

Thanks to EZMezzo at Mental Fiber for the link.

Check this out!

"Various organisations have criticised Microsoft for attempting to patent the creation of custom emoticons. The patent application, which was published by the US Patent Office on Thursday, covers selecting pixels to create
an emoticon image, assigning a character sequence to these pixels and reconstructing the emoticon after transmission. "

Is it possible to have too much power?

Of course, it's all Al Gore's fault, for "creating" the internet.

Me So Funny

the Cutting Edge

(65% dark, 43% spontaneous, 38% vulgar)
your humor style:

Your humor's mostly innocent and off-the-cuff, but somehow there's something slightly menacing about you. Part of your humor is making people a little uncomfortable, even if the things you say aren't themselves confrontational. You probably have a very dry delivery, or are seriously over-the-top.

Your type is the most likely to appreciate a good insult and/or broken bone and/or very very fat person dancing.

PEOPLE LIKE YOU: David Letterman - John Belushi

My test tracked 3 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:

You scored higher than 99% on dark -- Sounds about right!

You scored higher than 0% on spontaneous --not sure what that means

You scored higher than 50% on vulgar --I totally fuckin' disagree, you shitty, pussy-whipped computer test!

Link: The 3 Variable Funny Test written by jason_bateman on Ok Cupid

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