Saturday, August 06, 2005
...save one lonely voice of dissent...
A North Dakota water commissioner for one of the county's most affected by the flooding applauded the deal Saturday for keeping the project's momentum moving forward.It's okay, Joe Belford--we'll end up losing in the end.
But he said he's frustrated Canada won such major concessions.
For excellence in cross-border belly-aching, Joe--we salute you!
A thousand monkeys at a thousand typewriters...literally
In (Technorati's) latest State of the Blogosphere report, it said the number of blogs it was tracking now stood at more than 14.2m blogs, up from 7.8m in March.Welcome to the Revolution, my friends.
Thanks to G for pointing me to it...
Very weird factoid: "If Cruise and Katie Holmes wed, each of his wives will have been eleven years younger than the last. (Mimi Rogers, b. 1956; Nicole Kidman, b. 1967; Katie Holmes, b. 1978) "
I think Tom should get to know psychiatry a bit more.
The Ugliest Part of a Scary Story...
Canadian no-fly list part of travel security reforms
I don't like these reforms.
Before you misidentify my opinion as another radical looney-tune lefty rant, please allow me to explain. I'm confident that they are needed. The world is not as safe as we once thought it was. Anyone of us could be caught in the next violent attack. The government is merely trying to minimize our vulnerability.
It just hurts a bit for me to realize that these reforms are required, here...in my country. Except for a week and a half of being scared crapless in 1979 during the Great Mississauga Train Derailment evacuation, I've lived a mostly paranoia-free life.
That's over now.
So, if I'm reluctant to admit these measures are needed, it's because I'm in a state of denial. I never thought that my country would be a target of hatred. I never thought that my country would suffer from the same torment of other, less fortunate nations. That's my problem. I have a tendancy to lean a bit too far on the myopic side.
Harper just can't let an opportunity go by without politicizing it, though.
Was he still wearing the leather chaps at the time? I ask, because it sounds as though enough oxygen wasn't reaching his brain.
"We've had lots of security announcements from this government and very little action. This is part of a pattern of phony announcements. I'll believe it when I see it," he said.
And when you see it, Steve-O, in about a year's time (because these measures take time to roll out) will you just shut the Hell up?
Or will you be griping about something else? You're no leader, you're a critic. And no one likes a critic.
Angelina Strikes Again?
Is there no stopping this woman?
I'm kidding ya's!!! Angelina has nothing to do with this.
Everyone knows that Eddie likes the trannies!
If "Not Honest", then "Liar"? Impeach Bush?
If a majority of Americans agree that the Abomination isn't telling the truth...
...and he keeps talking to the nation...
...is he lying? Isn't that impeachable? Start doing the math, folks. Hold him accountable. For the first time in his life!
Friday, August 05, 2005
After A Summer of BBQ's...
...this is the best that he can do?
Harper promises tax breaks for transit users
CanWest News Service
TORONTO - A Conservative federal government would abandon attempts to meet
the country's clean-air targets set under the Kyoto protocol, while at the same time giving a tax break to people who use public transit, the party said Thursday.
In a move that risks inviting trade sanctions, Conservative Leader Stephen
Harper said the Tories may consider pulling out of the Kyoto accord altogether while advancing a made-in-Canada clean-air plan.
"Our plan is simply to reduce our emissions. Not just carbon dioxide, but a range of pollutants, and we're going to have our own targets that we think are achievable," Harper said Thursday after announcing an election policy platform that would give transit users a break.
The Tories would give people federal tax rebates worth 16 per cent of the cost of their bus, train and subway passes. "That is the choice," Harper told party MPs and
candidates already nominated for an election that is expected in the new year. "Liberal hot air or Conservative bus fare."
The Kyoto accord would see the country cut greenhouse gas emissions to six per cent below 1990 levels at a time when Canada's output of pollutants continues to rise.
The Tories have been consistently critical of the Liberal government's attempts to stem climate change, but have given mixed signals in recent months as to whether they would adhere to the treaty, which Canada signed in 1997 and ratified last February, if they formed the government.
...it goes on, but honestly--what is their point? To demonize Kyoto as this horrible, imposed-by-foreigners list of environmental Commandments? I know and understand that the entire Alberta ethos is constructed around the petroleum industry. Their collective fear and loathing of the rest of Canada is based in the Trudeau-era national energy policy, and being a have in a have-not nation. But the time is long-past for them to realize that the world is changing, and our oil reserves are drying up. Business and everyday life is already being impacted because of this. Kyoto is simply a way for nations of the world to ease into the next chapter of our history with
breathable air and drinkable water...and to clean up the wasteful products of a hundred years of bad living.
Okay then, I give up--is it because Brad left Jennifer?
Where in the hell does he get off saying this? Of course the attacks are tied to Britain's participating in the rape of Iraq.
His attempt at history lessons is an absolute failure, leaving out or glossing over the roots of the terrorist movement within the Middle East. He left out the British colonialism of Iraq in the early 20th Century. And the American manipulation of Afghanistan during the 1980's. And the Gulf War. While it wasn't as lame or puerile as the Bush "They's hates our freedoms" mantra, it was Baghdad Bob-ish at best.
Who exactly do they think that they're fooling anymore?
- I ask again, what is it about Florida?
- The downside to using Meth has always been the dental bills.
- Iron Mike contines to live the dream --has anyone warned Ms. Jameson about the whole biting thing? Or the whole rape thing? Or the punching thing? Just checking.
- Mom of the Year
- Is there ever going to be an end to these teacher-and-student stories?
- One person's "Anti-Tory Bias" is another's "Paul Martin Masterbation Material Fix"
- Florida again--W.T.F. people?!?
- Bitch, bitch, bitch--always Mr. Negativity!
- How much do you think Nick is getting paid for this "marriage" thing?
- Florida is being run by Homer Simpson?
- Bank card issuers grow a sense of humour.
- "How many Jackson Hole cops does it take to catch a naked man in a rodeo arena?"
- J.F.C. !!!-- I am never, ever going to Florida--ever!!!
- ...and finally...life's questions revealed. Except I still don't understand our strange fixation with Reality TV and car accident scenes.
I can't wait until "The Aristocrats" opens big next weekend, for all of the over-excited "what about the children" mewling from the religio-right. Anyone familiar with the joke will tell you, the kids turn out a-okay!
Peace be with you, my flock of a few!
"Danish officials in a warship are on their way to plant a flag on an Arctic island near Greenland, in the latest move of a territorial dispute between Copenhagen and Ottawa."
"Danish authorities said the crew will plant another Danish flag on the 1.3-square-kilometre Hans Island, which lies off the northwest coast of Greenland and has been claimed by both Canada and Denmark."
"Danish officials said the last flag blew down. "
Or, was it?!? Developing...zzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Is there a more frightening phrase than "Danish warship?"
Thursday, August 04, 2005
A dedication of sorts..
The Prince of Darkness has left the building
NOVAK: ...-- So, wait. Just let me finish what I'm going to say, James. Please, I know you hate to hear me, but you have...
CARVILLE: He's got to show these right wingers that he's got backbone. Show them you're tough.
NOVAK: Well, I think that's bullshit. And I hate that. Just let it go.
(Novak leaves set.)
HENRY: OK. James, what do you think though
I love that the moderator didn't miss a beat, and immediately started talking with James again. Do you think that Novak was counting on CNN's shitty ratings when he pulled this? Maybe 37 people actually watched it live.
Curse those blogging bloggers!!!
The video feed is up too, but I screwed the link up.
In other news, I guess that a DeLay in the hand is worth two in the Frist. My television diagnosis of Herr Doktor is that he can kiss the big Repuglican moolah good-bye!
I love her Wikipedia entry, though:
Harris was immortalized by comedienne Ana Gasteyer during the 2000-2001 season of Saturday Night Live. Harris was depicted as man-hungry, nakedly ambitious, and as wearing wardrobe and makeup that would put most drag queens to shame. Though her make-up was considered excessive by many, by the time of her Congressional campaign, Harris' look was softer and more subdued, leading some to believe she had plastic surgery. Harris has never spoken publicly about whether she had plastic surgery.
The bigger issue about Florida 2000 was the doctoring of an election and the forgery of a President. But please, continue focusing our attention to all of the non-issue.
I can only imagine what the neo-cons are ...is thinking the appropriate word???...right now.
A woman! Refugee! From Quebec! With a CBC connection!
It's practically a recipe for an aneurysm for the Flat Earth Society, no? Never mind that Ms. Jean is a perfectly good choice for the position.
Clearly, this is a move that will continue the ruination of a once-great nation, from whence only the mighty and pure-hearted Stephen Harper can rescue us. Trudeaupia, Trudeaupia, Trudeaupia, Trudeaupia, Libranos--bleack!
Never mind all of the other things they may have to say about her--look at that picture of her! Aside from being a heck of an attractive woman, she seems --despite a tragic early life--to be a downright happy person! I am proud to have her be our national representative to the Queen. Welcome, Michaelle!
The Emery Story
- "...How usual is it for an offence, allegedly committed in Canada, to be ignored until a foreign country has filed charges?"
- "So, Emery was not charged with any offense under Canadian law and Vancouver police did not have sufficient reason to concentrate on him. As the police spokesman said, it comes down to priorities and resources. The question is, on whose priorities and whose resources is he acting? Maybe the Blogging Tories are right after all. Maybe we are becoming a banana republic, although I suspect, they will be happy by this turn of events."
- "Don't you love the way they wave off the issue of sovereignty because the "charges Emery faces are not in Canada". It's the classic, "Because we said so defence", used for generations by those who can't think of a good reason for their stated position. Never mind that Canada has a set of laws covering this that Emery could be charged under. It's fine for another government to tell us how to run our drug policy and to apply their drug laws here. "
Two wrongs don't make a right, but if the U.S. continues to go after Emery, then maybe this is how we can fight fire with fire?
Our sovereignty is at stake here. Do we stand up and fight, or roll over, while our master rubs our belly?
More Green than you, I guess.
IN COMPARISON, THE AVERAGE ECOLOGICAL FOOTPRINT IN YOUR COUNTRY IS 8.8 GLOBAL HECTARES PER PERSON. WORLDWIDE, THERE EXIST 1.8 BIOLOGICALLY PRODUCTIVE GLOBAL HECTARES PER PERSON.
IF EVERYONE LIVED LIKE YOU, WE WOULD NEED 4.3 PLANETS.
Take the test here! Thanks to James at The Progressive Right for the link! Gotta go now, and find me more planets to live on!
Wednesday, August 03, 2005
There goes my PG rating!
Warning--if you're reading this at work, turn your speakers down. Better yet, plug in some headphones! There's some dirty words coming at you!
And here--oh my, Zach Braff--such a dirty mouth on you!
It looks like "The Chappelle Show" is history.
Charlie Murphy hasn't lied to us yet, right?
"Party over--whoops--out of time..." Dig it.
Killer line: "Is anyone up for a game of basketball?"
Soooo...I created this site which lists the entire blogroll, along with a few others. Eventually, I wanted to compose the HTML code for a few other blog rolls, and I didn't want to take up the space on the main page to do it.
Also (because managing one site isn't enough, or two for that matter!!!) I created this page to serve as a quiz archive --your one-stop-shopping for mirth and merriment.
Please read this post from my esteemed/steamed colleague Richard, and tell me whether or not you think he's on the cusp of bursting out of the closet.
A quick "Hell, yeah!" to all of the survivors of yesterday's crash, and the Canadian flight guidelines that helped save them. A question though--is this the same ravine into which another plane swerved into--like 25 years ago? If so, is having a ravine so close to the airport--and having the airport so close to the 401--such a good idea?
Is this really what The Abomination meant by exporting freedom?
Doing-It-Yourself becomes easier. I love technology!
She makes it look and sound sooooooooooooo easy!
Sounds like Dude had too much fun being undercover, doesn't it?
Coming-of-Age in Florida means something completely different than in other places.
I love this! If only it were true!
"To my knowledge, no one by the name of Karl Rove works for this president, his staff, or for that matter, anyone on earth, since he is not a real person," White House press secretary Scott McClellan told reporters Monday.
Also in this week's Onion, a link to the great advice columnist, Dan Savage--whose take on etiquette always comes in handy. (pun intentional!)
I'm going to 'fess up here and now to a having a teeny tiny crush on The Daily Show's Samantha Bee. "Gays of Thunder" and "The Hole Truth" are just a few recent reasons why. She rocks my fun little world. In an absolutely platonic, sarcastic way.
--excerpt from Halliburton Watch--
Audits conducted by the Pentagon's Defense Contract Audit Agency determined that KBR had $1 billion in "questioned" expenses (i.e. expenses which military auditors consider "unreasonable") and $442 million in "unsupported" expenses (i.e. expenses which military auditors have determined contain no receipt or any explanation on how the expenses were disbursed).
But the top Pentagon brass ignored these audits and rewarded KBR's work anyway
Blood does not equal oil. Say it with me, people!
CNN falls all over itself to cover the crash in my beloved T.O., where thankfully everyone has survived thus far, yet 1800 people have died for a ridiculous and fallacious campaign and the story is relegated to the sidebar--each and every time that the death toll goes up!
Tuesday, August 02, 2005
blue ball--corner pocket
The only redeeming part of this is that there haven't been any bidders. Yet.
In case anyone wants--nay, needs--to have the table upon which Jude Law rogered the nanny, here's the e-Bay link.
Never let it be said that I withhold information from my readers.
Aside from needing a new felt top, it's a pretty nice looking table for $2800.
The Daily Wanker: CAFTA-signer Edition
"I welcome the opportunity to make our nation more secure by strengthening our ties with democracies that share our belief in free markets and free government."
"All of us in this room understand that to keep our economy growing and creating jobs, we need to open markets for American products overseas. All of us understand that strengthening our economic ties with our democratic neighbors is vital to America's economic and national security interests. And all of us understand that by strengthening ties with democracies in our hemisphere, we are advancing the stability that comes from freedom. "
Oh yeah--and the cheap labour and resources that come along with selling their nations ' interests to the devil!!!
Good luck, hombres! You'll need it.
Happy Birthday, Sweet Baby!!!/Back To Work "Blahs"
First off, a very Happy Birthday wish to my beloved, who surprised me and showed up back home a few days early. By "surprised", I of course mean that she gave me enough time to clean up the five days' worth of accumulated filth. She's always soooo thoughtful! I missed your hugs and giggles the most.
SB, remember the place we stayed at, the night the power went wonky in 2003? Can we go back there sometime, or at least find someplace that's just as tranquil? I remember the water was so calm, the air was crisp and comfy...Good times!
Wow! Misty coloured memories and all...I'll move on...
I present to you, oh beloved fan of all things Ken Jennings-ish, one of his finer moments on Jeopardy. Tell me my wife, has anyone else ever blogged for you on your birthday?
This story gives me the chills. Am I just being paranoid?
Supporting the Troops just got cheaper. Hail to the thief!
Feeling disconnected from today's youth? Here's something that should help out. Deezam!
Orgasm study! Once again, I must have missed their call. Pout.
Damned dirty apes!
Trouble on the West Coast.
Atkins goes mams up, so to speak. The bread industry breathes a sigh of relief.
This isn't quite a TomKat update, but it's kinda funny. While we're in the celeb neighbourhood, don't you pine for the sweet "Rosie" days of yore?
Al - TV is on the air!
from The Onion:
War On String May Be Unwinnable, Says Cat General
Over three months now, and this is my first Kitty post. Now I'm a real blogger!
Before we go, another Funcentral quiz for ya'll!!! I'm back to work after the August long weekend. I can't believe that summer's almost over! Trev, I'll see what I can do about finding some more Family Guy for you. Until then, any other requests?
|Are you Addicted to the Internet?|
The Are you Addicted to the Internet? Quiz at Quiz Me!
Monday, August 01, 2005
Funcentral Challenge: Blog globally, Link Locally
What I'm asking you, gentle reader, is to do the same with your own blogs.
Sell your city. Be its friend and promoter.
What is it about the city or town that you live in that makes it special? What do you need to know to live there? What do you need to know to visit there?
PS: Pictures are always nice, too!
thanks for your support,
The Daily Wanker: Divider, Not A Uniter Edition
Ending a five-month standoff over a controversial nomination, President Bush on Monday used a recess appointment to name John Bolton the U.S. ambassador to the United Nations.To say nothing of the fact that Bolton wasn't going to pass any amount of scrutiny, and it would've made the Bush junta look even worse than it does already. (Imaging that!)
"This post is too important to leave vacant any longer, especially during a war and a vital debate about U.N. reform," Bush said from the Roosevelt Room at the White House.
Why on Earth would Bush not allow the death of a world leader and family friend to impede his master plan, you ask?
A: Vacation season! D'oh! We should've known. See you in September, George--don't forget to read the memos that people give to you.
I've been tagged!
Teen years: Ferris Bueller's Day Off - the last(only) time that Ben Stein showed soul, and the height of John Hughes' cinematic greatness. And Sloane Peterson was a hottie!
Honourable mentions: Purple Rain, Blue Velvet, A Christmas Story, The Princess Bride, Sid and Nancy, Return of the Jedi, The Color Purple, Porky's, Fast Times At Ridgemont High (Ahh, Phoebe!)
University years: A Fish Called Wanda - the funniest movie of the late 1980's/early 1990's, spotlighting Cleese's enduring genius and Jamie Leigh Curtis' ...umm... enduring genius.
Honourable mentions: Goodfellas, The Crying Game, La Femme Nikita, Eraserhead(I know that it's from the 70's, but this is when I got into it!), The Commitments, The Fisher Kings (the last two surmounted the fact that I saw them both with a memorable-for-how-annoying-she-was ex-girlfriend!)
Pre-married life: too many to pick just one...so in no particular order...Pulp Fiction, Fargo, True Romance, SFW, Clerks, Seven, 12 Monkeys, LA Confidential, Trainspotting, Boogie Nights, The Usual Suspects
Recent years: South Park: Bigger, Longer, Uncut
Honourable mentions: Shakespeare In Love, Go, Team America, Kill Bill 1 & 2, Fahrenheit 9/11, The Big Lebowski (thanks to Liam! You nag! I admit it, you were right!) The Incredibles, Orgazmo, Fight Club, Garden State, Y Tu Mama Tambien , Far From Heaven (The unofficial Julianne Moore fan club starts here and now!), The Sixth Sense and Best In Show.
All-time favorite: The Godfather I, because I'm that traditional!
Now that that is over with...who to tag? Hmmm...how aboutz?:
On your mark--get set...And...blog!
The Funny Papers
#10: "...Last week on the Sean Hannity show (Ann Coulter) argued that Bush should - and more importantly could - nominate a more extreme right-wing Supreme Court justice than John Roberts. How could Bush get away with this? Because, Ann explained, "it's a better Senate than it was then [when Clarence Thomas was appointed] and we have the media now."
There you have it - straight from the horse's mouth, as it were. So next time your conservative neighbor starts droning on about the world's problems being caused by the "liberal media," tell him Ann Coulter disagrees. That should at least confuse him into silence.
Sunday, July 31, 2005
Blog Tour--What Are Folks Talking About?
Wonkette clarifies on what she was basing her claim that Dubya was a Big Gay Prez. Clarification is a good thing, yes?
Wil Wheaton may always be little Wesley Crusher in my mind, but he's celebrating his 33rd birthday this weekend.
Tilting At Windmills comments on the arrest of King of Pot, Mark Phelps. That, and how Canada always seems to bow to the whim of the US. Scary precedent that they seem to be setting on this one and other cases.
Daveberta is annoyed, and he's not keeping it to himself.
Mark at Section 15 has done a remarkable job of detailing a number of Canadian political polls, in the hopes of better understanding where we are as a country anticipating an election sometime in the next 6 months. Nice job, sir!
G at Library Bitch posted a funny "Week in photos" entry. Who knew that Frist and McConnell would ever grow enough spine to part ways with the Great Leader?
The Amazing Wonderdog is off for a week's vacation. So is Paul Wells.
Still no sign of Robert from My Blahg.
Or Rick Mercer, either.
Matt Good is back, though! He's not been feeling the best lately, but when he's on his game, no one is better at supporting (and educating folks on) human rights issues. Take a look if you haven't already!
Josh Marshall at Talking Points Memo writes about the imminent appointment of John Bolton during the recess. So much for due process.
Jake Bronstein's hilarious photo-blog details his recent trip to Russia, as he takes on all challengers. I don't care if they're just pictures--large Russian men are just plain scary!
Long after interest in the story had peaked, Buckets of Grewal has devoted an astounding level of work on the story, and has another great post up.
Brett at Canadian Liberal at Penn writes about the growing call for Canadian assistance in Niger.
Quiddity at uggabugga has posted a breathtaking and informative diagram of Judith Miller's involvement in the Plame fiasco.
Klondike Kate is way too smart for me to understand. Robster, do you know what she's talking about?
Robert at A Little Left of Centrist is also concerned about Stem Cell research, and his local candidates' positions on the issue.
Dawg's Blawg studies alledged racism within the RCMP. And the on-going saga of Hans Island, too.
Finally, the fine folks at Corrente have an eye-opening look at an Alabama court case, and the role that several verses of the Bible had in the final decision.
Today marks my three-month anniversary here at Funcentral. I know that this is a mere pittance compared to other blogs that have been going for years, but celebrating an anniversary is important regardless of how long you've been together.
Thanks for stopping by, for telling others about me, and for tolerating my crappy-mood days. You know, the ones that end in "d-a-y".
To show you exactly what you mean to me, I leave you with this hilarious clip from the Family Guy, and the original, very scary, clip that they were imitating. If anyone other than Liam enjoys this clip, please let me know. Otherwise, the Family Guy stuff stops NOW!
Have a groovy week, everyone!
Well, this is reassuring!
I'm a complete liberal, utterly without a trace of Republicanism. My strength is as the strength of ten because my heart is pure. (I hope.)
The Week That Was
Showing the same level of respect towards the media as he has shown towards the rest of the world, Little Georgie Porgie this week inexplicably flipped the bird (right) while walking (thus clearing up a long-standing question that I had). The image at the left demonstrates that it isn't the first time.
Relax folks, he's "fit for duty". Whew!
Wow--I guess that the War on Drugs (or, is that now Struggle Towards A Sober Happiness???) is still on, and Canada's getting in on the battlefront.
Timmy's up for grabs!
Boy, I wonder if the stock will perform well?
Talk about your no-brainer investments.
Big question for you: Is there a more mixed-up place on this planet than the state of Florida?
There's this story, and this one, and this one, and this one. Is it the water? Or, perhaps it's having "It's A Small World" being pumped out 19,000 times a day?
The omni-important Sasquatch question has now been put to rest...for now!
Or, has it? (cue scary music...) (crickets chirping...)
Smoking in your car is getting banned, so how about banning being an erratic ass next? Then, I'd like to see singing along with Phil Collins and Celine Dion banned. Along with the really annoying habit of driving with your feet hanging out of the windows.
Don't feed the animals! This last line is a classic: "Mentally ill people had occasionally broken into the park and been eaten in the past, he said, but it was highly unusual. "
The dream is dead. This dream bit the big one, too!
Lastly, why not help out a tired nation and step in to do the job that a vacationing (P)Resident will not...and fire Karl Rove!
Thank you, and good night.