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Saturday, July 30, 2005

The Weekend Wankers

I nominate the entire U.S. Congress on this one, for even thinking that internet porn and video games deserve a greater amount of concern than the number of dead bodies coming back from Iraq.

I wonder... how to help them along with their journey towards enlightenment...? I know...!

With thanks (eternal thanks, by the way!!!) to Bartcop, for the link. Bart's the guy to thank (or curse at) for what you see here at Funcentral. If he didn't make it look easy enough that any trained monkey could do it, than I never would have tried.

I bow to you, my master!

Day Five of living as a bachelor: Pop cans are starting to pile up, throwing out Wednesday leftovers, dirty laundry pile starting to resemble the Alps. Ate too many potato chips last night. Fell asleep watching World Series of Poker. I miss you, Sweet Baby!

Of course, I have been singing more loudly in the shower since you've been gone--even used the shower massage head as a microphone, grooving out to the restless funk of Prince's "Girls and Boys", from Parade. "Meet me in another world, space and joy..."--exactly. My neighbours are very forgiving. Or deaf, not too sure on that. I'll be back later with for Funcentral-ish joy.

Friday, July 29, 2005

The Boondocks. Pure genius--each and every time!

welfare muthas

A Warmer Welcome To This Week's New Visitors

...because I am nothing if not a gracious host.

A Hale and Hardy "Howdy" goes out to:

I know that there were waaaaaaaaaaay more recent first-timers this week, especially on Tuesday (61!!! Why? Was it something that I said? Slow day at every office everywhere?). So, if you would like to be warmly welcomed in the future, leave a comment, even if you don't have a profile. Sign in as anonymous, and just sign your first name or a funny handle. Or, send me an e-mail like Robert Rouse from A Little Left of Centrist did.

As the week grinds to a close, my sweet baby is off into the wilderness of Southern Ontario, camping with her sister and niece--and I am left (I'm always left--get it? snicker!) to fend for my poor self. Cue blues harmonica. Good thing that I can cook, eh? (Note to my American readers--I even type "eh". All of the stereotypes are true. Except for "Aboot". Not sure where that came from.) I miss you, sugar-pop--but I'm glad that you're having fun.

The war over Hans Island seems to have degraded into a one-sided territorial pissing match, with Bill Graham admitting that he's uncertain exactly how Canada will defend its claim on the miniscule Arctic outcropping of land.

Having the Rolling Stones play in town is actually going to cost Ottawa $20,000! On the upside, the show is sure to piss off Glebe-ites. Exxxxxx-cellent!

Toronto transit was sucker-punched by paranoia, while Ottawa bus drivers have unilingual English pamphlets handed out to them. In the future, the War On Terror will be won with paper cuts.

Of course, now there is no more "War On Terror". Check out The Daily Show's hilarious but accurate look on this new "Struggle Against Violent Extremism". Is anyone else reminded of the "New Coke" campaign from 1985? Anyone remember "New Coke"? Did I just give away my age? Damn.

Strangely, I miss the daily "Crazy Tom Cruise" antics.

The LCBO strike was averted--surprise--just in time for the long weekend. Given that Tuesdays provincial sales were over $25 million, there may have been some impetus to settle. Good going guys--now I can get me a case of Mike's Hard Lemonade without having to cross into Quebec. Yay me!

Not being American, this law came as a shock to me. Really, no obscenity over the internet? So, back when Dick Cheney told Senator Patrick Leahy to "Fuck himself"--any website (myself included now--great!) publishing the text of that had violated the law, but Cheney had not? How is that sane?

Ladies, learn from Sienna Miller's mistake--watch your man around the nanny.

As Joe Conason reports, if the Republican machine is gearing up to slag Patrick Fitzgerald, then Pat must be onto something lethal. Never mind that it was their own venom and war-lust that started the damned thing to begin with. To recap: Fitzgerald is on his way to losing his job, Novak is off the hook completely, and Rove gets a raise. Justice delayed is justice denied.

Finally, anyone else out there happy as crappy that "Cappy" Eric got his bald ass booted out of Big Brother 6 last night?

Talk about "Little Man" Syndrome!--with his "don't piss in my ear, and tell me that it's raining" crap, and his constant crying and ranting. Yeah, I won't miss him much.

Clearly, I need more hobbies. sigh

Be safe this weekend, see you all again soon!

For Liam, I leave you all with this clip from Family Guy--apparently, I'm the last person on the planet to discover this thing. Clever use of an A-Ha video always gets my vote.

The Sun Always Shines On T.V.--words to live by, fellow bloggers. Words. To. Live. By.

Every Girl's Crazy 'Bout A Sharp Dressed Man

This is too much fun!
Thanks to Mark at Section 15 for the link, and the images (cuz I screwed mine up!).
Please make optimal usage of the Seinfeld-esque puffy shirt. MMMMMM...I do love the purple, though!

Thursday, July 28, 2005

Turd Blossom redux

Rove got a raise, folks.

Is this how to run a country?

Canada's Not A House--It's My Home

In response to the shiss that is pouring out of the Cannuckistan Chronics (find your own links--I can't be bothered), I only have this to say:

Jeff and Richard and their ilk seem scared of any demographic (religious, ethnic, orientation, etc) that they themselves don't belong to. So they would raise the walls of Fortress Canada, and shut down an immigration policy which has been in place for decades. All because of recent terrorist events, no less. No one has stopped to count the number of countries and terrorist groups actually angry at Canada right now, have they?

They will call me names--those types always have to debase their opponents to make themselves feel superior, right Richard?--but I say that this is the wrong course for Canada to take. It is wrong because we would then be succumbing to the terrorists' ploy. Their acts will have instilled fear. They win.

The Cons will say that it is typical, moonbat-ish, "Trudeaupian" (take about over-used political drivel--get some new material, guys!) loony-left propaganda, but Canada's biggest threat is not the people who arrive to our shores seeking a better life. Rather, it is our deepening association with the US, and the current White House occupant.

Canada is my home. All visitors are welcome. Jeff and Richard are examples of the coakroach problem. No home is perfect. But with a Crappy Tire card and some duct tape--by Jeezus, anything's possible.

The Daily Wanker: Bad Puppy Edition

I really believe him when he promises not to be an activist judge--he wouldn't lie, right?Senator Ben Nelson, rolling over for his master, waiting for a belly rub. Good boy, Benji! Good boy!

An "Awwwww" Moment

I don't get sentimental to often--it's called "Fun"central, not "Sob"central, afterall. So imagine my surprise when I reacted like an Oprah fan after reading this story.

Young Dustin was inspired by the David Lynch movie The Straight Story, about a 70-something guy who couldn't see well enough to keep his driver's licence.

Thank God that he was inspired by this Lynch movie, and not Eraserhead. That could have been messy!

We're pullin' outta here to...er...win?

U.S. General Seeks Iraq Pullout by 2006

Yeah, "pull out" all you want to Donny--the damage has already been done. You've had your way with her--ravaged her, really--all for her precious gift.

Another notch, you stud!

Is that why the General looks so sulky? Did you offer sloppy seconds to him? (that's enough "Iraq as a Prom Date" metaphor!)
In other, more fascinating news:

...and lastly, why not contribute my two cents on the new lady-bot? Aside from the fact that she is kinda cute, with a stilted-mid 90's flair for fashion and hair design, I thought that it was worth noting that the article reported people around her would "forget she is an android while interacting with her. ...(they) react to the android as if she were a woman." Oh, and the fact that she flutters her eyelids. Excellent piece of coding on that one, folks! My mom would be proud.

thanks to G for this one!!!
What book are you?
I'm Waiting for Godot!
by Samuel Beckett
Many people think you're extremely dull, but you're just trying to
patient. Really patient. Patient to the point of absurdity, quite frankly. Whatever
you're waiting for isn't going to just come along, so you can stop waiting. I promise.
Move on with your life. Change of scenery might do you good. Heck, any scenery might
do you good. In the meantime, you do make for very interesting conversation.
Take the Book Quiz
at the
Blue Pyramid.

We're almost through this one, kids--have a safe and happy one!

Wednesday, July 27, 2005

The Daily Wanker: Big Box Store Edition

For never once being on the up-side of a news story; for being ridiculously anti-labour, to the point of closing the "under-performing" location in Quebec after their local charter was ratified;
for under-cutting their competition through crappy wages and ham-fisted purchasing practices; for reminding me why I used to despise capitalism in my far-flung youth...and for all-purpose crap like this...I salute Wal-Mart.

With kudos to Gretchen at The Green Lantern (always great work, please visit her today, and then tomorrow also!) , and to L-Girl from We Move To Canada (always great work, please visit her today, and then tomorrow also! What can I say? I love everybody equally! That's further evidence that I'm probably a communist in a socialist disguise.)

PS: If you agree with me that Wal-Mart is the Evil Empire, then join L-Girl's Girl-cott! Power to the people, right on!

Hump-Day Happies

Apart from being the middle of the week, it's also government pay day today! Yay--let's see how fast it gets spent this week. So to celebrate, here's some classic Dave Chappelle to lighten things up. If you're listening to this at work, I'd watch the volume of speakers--there will be profanity on this ride. (Doing my part not to contribute to unemployment!)

Part One

Part Two

Part Three

Don't think for a moment that, now you've seen these clips that it somehow removes the need for you to go out and buy seasons one and two of Dave's show. It does not. If you're serious about laughing-- run, don't walk!!!-- to your nearest store and pick them up. Or, alternatively Liam, you may borrow them from me. (What can I say? I'm a giver.)

Hey, happy 52nd anniversary to Fidel Castro and Cuba--surely the gayest marriage of all!!!--for making it together far longer than anyone thought possible. Seriously, decades ago, this little despot island nation was considered such an enormous threat to United States national security. They may have ben once, as a potential launch pad of nuclear (nukuler?) war for the old USSR. But for the last two decades, they've been nothing more than a cheap place for Candians to vacation, and a convenient repository for inconvenient detainees.

In other whacky, mixed-up news:

Finally, how hard up for lady action do you have to be for your friends to take out a billboard, advertising you like so much tooth paste? This guy Lance, who seems to have everything going for him, somehow can't get it together long enough to actually go out and meet people on his own. Yeah...women really dig that in a guy, buddy. Please spare us the online details, when and if Lance should actually "score", okay?


I'd like to say welcome to all of the first-time visitors who came by yesterday. I hope that you found something amusing or provocative here, and that you come back soon for a repeat visit.

bye for now!

Richard Evan's Latest Mind-Fart

My wife asked me why I bother reading this guy's crap. I didn't have an answer ready, so I think that I responded with, "Cuz it's fun!" It is very clear that Richard and I will never agree on anything. I understand that it is highly unlikely that I'll ever convince him that our current government is not selling Canada down the river, or doing harm to the social fabric of the country we both claim to love. Or that the moderate Liberal Party of Canada is an equitable middle ground to the polar opposites of the political spectrums where we each reside.

But the crap that he posts is beyond reason. I know that, like assholes, everyone has an opinion. All I ask is that Richard wipes up afterwards. Now, he postulates, Canada is like a house, and everyone who lives in it, apparently, must live under Richie's rules.
While You're in my House You'd Best Behave, Mr.
Recently, while I was living in the reality of now (note this excludes many left wing ideologues from the discussion), I happened to bump into an epiphany. The epiphany was really quite simple, in it's dissection. It went something like this:
Canada is like a house.
Err--what?!? I wonder if anyone has suggested to Richie that he should perhaps live in the reality of the coherent? Or at least in the reality of now, more often? Canada is not like a house. It is, though, a country. See how he immediately excludes those who normally disagree with him from the conversation. Nice bullying tactic there, Hoss. Have you ever heard of someone bumping into an epiphany? Richard, I would like to introduce you to the English Language--English Language, this is the guy that I was telling you about. Call me later!

A house, you ask? Bear with me and I shall elaborate upon this conception with a simpler analogy.
Excellent, because I've always had difficulty with comprehending such complex theories. Please kind sir, elaborate...

Imagine you own a house, but you are having a difficult time paying the mortgage and the related bills, incurred. Time to seek out a room-mate. What ideal qualities should this person possess? I, would ask the following questions and make the following pronouncements sans verbosity:
This is my house and you are a guest. If you do not respect my rules, or the values and ideals that I live by, please do not move in. You will only be unhappy and will make me unhappy. Also, I will quickly begin to regret my hospitable nature.
Oh my goodness...could this be Richie's immigration policy? How coy of him to dress it up in child-like allegory. Even on the surface of his rather juvenile "roommate" scenario, the concept of guest is misapplied. Anytime that I've had (or have been, for that matter--with a few exceptions--sorry 'bout that, Liam!!!) a roommate, rent was paid. They stop being "guests" after that. So, to follow the migraine-inducing reasoning of Mr. Evans, even if immigrants pay taxes, they don't really count as residents. If only he could make all of his pronouncements "sans verbosity", they would be infinitely more readable.

Don't hole away in your room, but be an active member in the household. This means helping to take care of the household maintenance and integrity. Help out! Be visible and contribute to the welfare of this establishment. Do your fair share. I do not want to have to clean up after you and feed and nurture you, while you look down your nose at me, and all that I've accomplished and achieved with my hard work.Please, don't even consider moving in if you don't intend on following these rules.
"So, no welfare for you, should you fall on hard times! You've been warned! And--just because we've been openly hostile towards welcoming you, don't stick with your kind in community centres or anything, because that's just downright rude." Wow--such cultural sensitivity, Richard! At what point do these new "residents" become actual Canadians, and therefore free...I don't know...WHATEVER THE HELL THEY WANT??? The very fact that Canada isn't oppressive towards immigrants is one of the reasons they like coming here. Show me a study or facts that demonstrate that immigrants violate more laws or abuse more social programs, and I will change my opinion about the immigration policy. L-Girl, you and Redsock have been put on notice--no freeloading when you two show up in a month's time. We'll be looking for the announcement that you've both been gainfully employed. There's nothing worse than an unemployed blogger. LOL--whatever...as if it matters what Richie thinks.

I can't finish with the rest of his post. Go there if you must. My head hurts. Richard's "reality" isn't real. He may have convinced himself that it is, but so did Tyler Durden from Fight Club. And look how that turned out for everyone.

What Richard describes, in simplistic fashion, is not a house; rather it feels more like Gitmo, without the orange jumpsuits. Richard sees Canada as a perpetual state of "Us against Them", and they're winning, according to him. I don't want Canada to become fraught with fear and loathing, the way so many countries--most especially the United States--has. There are many virtues of the USA worth emulating. Their ham-fisted approach to immigration isn't one of them.

Once again, my vision of Canada differs from Richie's. Shocking, isn't it?

Tuesday, July 26, 2005

The Daily Wanker

Today we honour the spineless newspaper editors who ban this cartoon strip
Doonesbury by Garry Trudeau

while letting stories like this one slip unnoticed into the ether.

If they are still wondering why it is that blogs have replaced newspapers as major source of information, there's the answer.

Always remember, the opposite of a Liberal media is not an Acquiescent media.

Mostly Evil, Partly American, Perky Blonde

Idle hands and online quizzes are the devil's playground...

I am 65% Evil Genius.
Deceitful & Crazy!
Evil courses through my blood. Lies and deceit motivate my evil deeds. Crushing the weaklings and idiots that do nothing but interfere in my doings.

Not so sure about the picture of Gore being there. If he was so deceitful, shouldn't he be President right now?

What's to say about this? I don't know. I was drunk at the time, maybe?

You Are 49% American
America: You don't love it or want to leave it.
But you wouldn't mind giving it an extreme make over.
On the 4th of July, you'll fly a freak flag instead...
And give Uncle Sam a sucker punch!

...all this, and it turns out that I'm a pretty blonde girl, too.

Your Blogging Type is Logical and Principled
You like to voice your well thought out opinions on your blog.
And if someone doesn't what you write, you really don't care!
Serious and blunt, sometimes people take your blog the wrong way.
But you're a true and loyal friend to those who truly get you.

Which side am I on?

Religious types vs. Scantily clad young ladies?

Normally a no-brainer, but maybe as I grow older -- and 22 year old women inevitably call me "Sir" when addressing me, I feel a closer kinship to the protesters in this one. Sure, it's a silly contest, and old religious people are notorious for their opposition to nubile youngsters having fun or plastic surgery.


Penticton, B.C. -- Hours before a 22-year-old banker won a free set of breast implants, elderly churchgoers in this Okanagan Valley city did their bit to change the minds of 36 contestants in the controversial competition.

However, I do think that shows like "The Swan" and "Extreme Makeover" have been nothing but toxic for peoples' self-esteem. What people feel they need to be attractive to another person is hardly ever "required". But maybe that is wisdom that would be lost on a 22-year-old banker. Never mind that she's young enough to be my daughter. (Argh!!! Shudder!!!) Well, if you're not foolish and carefree in your youth, then you'll never have anything to regret when you're ancient, right?

That being said, I'm not above posting a picture of the winner.

I'm not made out of stone, people!

Isn't there a war going on?

I'I think I made No.2 in my pants!m asking because if there is, then there should never have been at least 11 different breaches of security within the White House, during the time preceding the revelation of Valerie Plame's identity. We all know that there's a bigger story here, hidden beneath all of the he said/she said allegations. However, the White House has responsibilities when it comes to security breaches. Hell, we all do today, right? War or no war, the White House by its very nature is supposed to be an impenetrable fortress of information.
In July 2003, it became a leaking sieve, all in the hopes of ensuring that no one else would dare speak out against tI'm gonna be in thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiis much troublehe great and glorious leader-King. As you'll read below, the White House had every obligation to suspend all security access of anyone suspected of a security breach. Instead, what we were given was a bucket of denials and endless diversions. Not only that, but Rove was given a federally-paid position within the White House after November 2004, and John Bolton was sent on the path to becoming U.S. Ambassador to the United Nations. Nice work if you can get it, eh lads?

If only Joe Wilson had taken a hint, then all of this could have been avoided, and Americans would be looking forward to the up-and-down with John "Not Bob!!!" Roberts. Instead, Rover's been in the cross-hairs for weeks, Scotty-boy is thiiiiiis close to a meltdown, the strange and intriguing Guckert/Gannon-gate looks poised to make a comeback, and talk of criminal charges and impeachment are swirling around Washington, again.

Don't take my word for it--Rep. Henry Waxman has all the facts laid out:
11 Security Breaches in Plame Case
Factsheet published today cites multiple administration leaks
By: Rep. Henry Waxman

The disclosure of the covert identity of Valerie Plame Wilson in a July 14, 2003, column by Robert Novak has triggered a criminal investigation and led to calls for congressional investigations. The Novak column, however, appears to be only one of multiple leaks of Ms. Wilson's identity. A new fact sheet released today by Rep. Waxman documents that there appear to be at least 11 separate instances in which Administration officials disclosed information about Ms. Wilson's identity and association with the CIA.

~~read the entire article here~~

The 11 Breaches
1. The Disclosure by Karl Rove to Columnist Robert Novak
2. The Disclosure by a "Senior Administration Official" to Columnist Robert Novak
3. The Disclosure by Karl Rove to TIME Reporter Matt Cooper
4. The Disclosure by Scooter Libby to TIME Reporter Matt Cooper
5. The Disclosure by an "Administration Official" to Washington Post Reporter Walter Pincus
6. The Disclosure by a "Top White House Official" to an Unidentified Reporter
7. The Disclosure by a "Top White House Official" to an Unidentified Reporter
8. The Disclosure by a "Top White House Official" to an Unidentified Reporter
9. The Disclosure by an Unidentified Source to Wall Street Journal Reporter David Cloud
10. The Disclosure by an Unidentified Source to James Guckert of Talon News
11. The Disclosure by a "Senior Administration Official" to Washington Post Reporters Mike Allen and Dana Milbank

So, was there anyone in the press that the White House didn't want to talk to? Jumpin' Jesus--it isn't as though it happened one time, as a slip of the tongue. To hear Rover tell it, he let it slip, and was all--"Oh, now I've gone and done so baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad thing", like Beaver Cleaver breaking a neighbour's window.

As a Canadian, I wonder sometimes whether I should devote so much of my blog to the crap that the US Repugs are pulling. After all, it isn't happening in my country, and God knows--there's enough American bloggers covering the same territory. Shouldn't I just mind my own business? I justify it this way--friends don't let friends drive drunk.

Guess what? Bush has been drunk with power for 5 years now. He's already smashed up two countries, and gunning for a third, with approximately 30,000 fewer people enjoying the benefits of freedom and democracy. I don't want to be in the car with him. I don't want any people that I care about to get hurt by him. I certainly don't want to be responsible for paying for the chaos that he's unleashed.

That's why I blog about this mess. That, and Parliament doesn't sit again until the fall.

Ahh, summer!

Guess who slept in?

I'll be back later today with something.

If anyone notices that the page is loading slower than normal, it's because I added the entire friggin' Big Brass Alliance to my blogroll last night--upwards of 760 sites. Needless to say, I'll be doing some template editing tonight.

Peace and love, fellow bloggies!

Monday, July 25, 2005

The Daily Wanker: The Polar Bear Express Edition

The first tied TDW goes to...drumroll please...

Canada and Denmark, for taking up valuable time, valuable taxpayer dollars and valuable internet bandwidth in their insipid battle for a dingy little island in the Arctic Ocean.

I mean, really people--is there anyplace less worth fighting over? Like say, maybe the Falkland Islands? Is this squabble going to impede Dano-Canadian relations for decades and generations to come? Is there any hope for a happy and equitable negotiation? Everyone who's read Hamlet knows that the Danish can become completely unhinged when it comes to protecting what's theirs. Good thing that Canada didn't go and, like kill the Danish king, and marry his wife or anything. Then, we'd be screwed.

Seriously though--is it worth it folks? How about settling it with a best-2-out-of-3 of Rock, Paper, Scissors?

Masters of War

We've been distracted by Jackson and Peterson and Kobe in court. Natural disasters like the tsunami, hurricanes, earthquakes and floods have temporarily taken over the headlines. The comings and goings of Supreme Court Justices looked as though they could deprive us of closure.
Celebrities meet, fall in "love" and become inappropriately familiar with each other, and yet the little story that could keeps marching on.

Downing Street Memo? Rove-gate? They aren't separate stories. The sooner people realize that, the better.

They aren't just paper trails and leaks to the media, either. No matter what the Bush-ites would have you believe. Whatever you may be reading about this, look deeper. Don't get bogged down with all of the who-leaked-to-who stuff.

Was Rove involved? Yes, of course he was. But why? Well, his chief job then (July 2003) was to protect Bush. Bush was under a lot of fire for going into Iraq, and not finding vast caches of weapons. Joe Wilson's expose was damning. One week later, Novak's slam-piece was out. Not a coincidence. But again, why?

Bernard Weiner, courtesy of Democratic Underground, has a brilliant piece on this issue.
What's being covered up in the Plame/Rove case seems to revolve around the Bush Administration's orchestrated propaganda campaign to justify its invasion of Iraq. Valerie Plame and her husband Ambassador Joseph Wilson - who wrote the op-ed in the New York Times that got this whole thing going - are just the tips of some very large icebergs, and one of those icebergs has a name: the White House Iraq Group (WHIG), which we'll examine below.
One of the ruling judges on the case of the two reporters who refused to divulge their Plame-outing source was about to go easy on them when he read Fitzgerald's new information - eight pages of which were redacted from the public - and said that the national-security seriousness of what he read changed his mind. The court then ordered Time's Matthew Cooper and the New York Times' Judith Miller to testify or else; Cooper finally did, and Miller is in jail for contempt of court.
We don't know what is in those eight blacked-out pages - and, if they really do involve national-security matters, we may never be permitted to know precisely. But apparently they provide the locus around which Fitzgerald is building a case that could result in indictments at least for perjury for a number of Administration officials and perhaps journalists as well.
Do not let anyone convince you that this story is any less significant than Watergate or Clinton's Sex Crimes. Those transgressions, both of which brought administrations to their respective knees, were mere folly compared to bringing a country to war against another--all based on lies and supposition, at the cost of thousands of lives.

Go back further, before 9-11, to the Cheney Energy Board meetings. Who was there, what did they talk about? Was Michael Moore correct in Fahrenheit 911? Were Saudi terrorists involved in those meetings? Why won't Dick Cheney talk about those meetings?

How quickly after 9-11 did Paul Wolfowitz convince Bush to attack in retaliation? Was Iraq Wolfie's idea, or was Bush seizing upon the opportunity to avenge his father's embarrassment and attempted assassination?

All I'm saying is do not stop asking questions once you've discovered who leaked whose name to a reporter. There's more questions where that came from. The last question being, "Was it all worth it?" Only time will tell on that one.

Best use for a Nelly song thusfar...

Serious post above--so I thought that I would lighten up a bit with this funky clip that I found, via Capitalist Pig vs. Socialist Swine (which, by the way, is still the coolest title for a blog that I've seen, with Library Bitch coming in a close second. Props, G!)

Anyway, if you have some time on your hands today, and a computer with a sound card, please enjoy: Dance, Voldo, dance!

Word, dawgs!

PS: The new Top 10 Conservative Idiots is up!

Sunday, July 24, 2005

Let It All Hang Out

The only thing worse than a Democrat is a vague Republican. Ann Coulter's recent diatribe against SCOTUS nom (and proud father to the nation's new dance phenom!) John Roberts, Jr. seems a whole lot like she's trying to throw the media off of his scent, don't you think? The enemy of my enemy, and all that...

Isn't it enough that Bush thinks highly of him? I mean, he is the great and glorious commander, after all. "America is fortunate to have a man of such wisdom and intellectual strength willing to serve our country." Umm...including himself there, no doubt.

The best quote in her entire rant--surely, the most telling, has got to be:

Finally, let's ponder the fact that Roberts has gone through 50 years on this planet without ever saying anything controversial. That's just unnatural.
By contrast, I held out for three months, tops, before dropping my first rhetorical bombshell, which I think was about Goldwater.

Sniff--did anyone else get misty-eyed at the thought of little Baby Ann?
Would it be freaking possible for Canada to lay claim to an island below the Equator next time?
Regardless of what Richard Evans thinks, Bill C-38 isn't about corrupting his or anyone else's' kids. Your unparalleled and baseless paranoia is the very definition of moonbat: "someone who sacrifices sanity for the sake of consistency."
What's the hold-up with RU-486 in Canada? Perhaps too many people refer to it as the "Abortion pill"? Did anyone call Viagra the "boner pill"? That would have held it up (snicker!!!) for years!
Building a better Canada, one poorly-executed photo op at a time.
More Harper-centric fellatio at the National Post. Love the picture though! Real man-'o'-the people stuff here. Seriously, he will cook for you, and build for you--there is literally nothing he won't do to get your vote...unless you want him to officiate at your same-sex marriage. Then, he's all, "Umm...let me check my calendar, and I'll have someone get back to you."
With so many qualified nominees to choose from, how could one possibly be expected to choose? No, I'm not talking about picking a replacement for Sandra Day O'Connor--it's the Third Annual World Stupidity Awards!!!
"Sorry" isn't enough in the London Subway Shooting cock-up, now is it? Getting the right guy needs to be more important than getting someone.
In what Bizarro dimension is Howard Kurtz a well-intentioned, focused investigative journalist?
Speaking of whores, is there a Bizarro dimension where Courtney Love isn't a complete train wreck?
Hi, my name's Bob, and I will be your next Prime Minister.What better way to incite a collective aneurysm in the "minds" of the Canadian right than to float a rumour that Bob Rae is set to replace Paul Martin as Liberal leader?

Was the Shitizen just having fun with us? Or is there something more to the story?

He's certainly not afraid of a bitterly divided population. He does love this country, although more in the way I do; less so in the Richard Evans way. He isn't afraid to take an unpopular position. I would never ever miss a single Question Period, in the hope that Harper's head would just spin itself right off. Ahh...good times.
That's all for now. I'll be back tomorrow.

But first, the requisite quiz:
This is kind of funny:

Which Fantasy/SciFi Character Are You?

considering these old test results:
Your Penis Name is: Captain Kirk

Please feel free to refer to me as Captain from now on.

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