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Saturday, July 23, 2005

The Weekend Wanker



Proving to all skeptics exactly how much of a mamma's boy he is, Dubya hauls Big Babs out of retirement to help push his scheme to rob seniors of heir pensions, also known as Senior Security. What George? Do you need your MOMMY to fight your battles for you?

Or, perhaps I'm reading this wrong. Maybe there's a Bush for every type of scheme GWB has up his sleeve. Maybe Noelle will be the new Drug Czar. Neil could be the new head of Treasury, or alternatively, assist in the writing of the Defence of Marriage Bill. Wouldn't that be a fun thing to read?

Good times! Happy Wanking!


Your Opinion Matters. No-- Really-- It does!!

Had a little bit of fun with the Logo Generator, and I thought that I could ask you for some input. Blogger-types haven't struck me as shy types yet, so please--weigh in on what looks good, what sucks ass, and what you'd like to see at the top of this page.

Here goes:
(1)


(2)

(3)

(4)


(5)

(6)

(7)


(8)


Signs 'O' The Times




Have your own fun! Link me your results!


Friday, July 22, 2005

Time, Time, Time--See What You've Done To Me


To change, or not to change--that is the question.

Froth it up a bit folks--it's Friday!

Do we Canadians blindly follow our neighbours to the South? If yes now, where do we stop? Remember, Congress thought that invading Iraq and impeaching Clinton were good ideas too!

If we don't adopt their changes, do I still have to wait until January for new eps of Battlestar Galactica?

What repercussions do these changes have on you?
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Bush Knows Who To Ask About CIA Leak
President Says He Wants 'All The Facts'
by Helen Thomas, Hearst White House columnist
--excerpt--

Of course, he could invite Karl Rove to an Oval Office meeting where the president could say, "Karl, what happened?" Or he could ask I. Lewis "Scooter" Libby, Vice President Dick Cheney's chief of staff, to come clean.
Both Rove and Libby have been publicly identified as sources of information about an undercover CIA officer. Fitzgerald is investigating whether they or anyone else in government violated the federal law that makes it a crime to out someone with that status.
But Bush says he'll wait until Fitzgerald completes his investigation -- now in its second year. "I want to know all the facts," he said. "I would like this to end as quickly as possible. If someone committed a crime, they will no longer work in my administration."
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CDW: Long John Baldry
I only saw him once, at Bluesfest 2002--and he left the stage early in great pain. We're losing all of the greats now.
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The bunch of lemmings collectively known as the U.S. Congress voted to renew the Patriot Act, rather than actually read the damn thing.
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Why do it naked? Why do it at all?
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Ever wonder how good BC Bud is? Good enough to dig a huge hole in the earth, man.

________________________________
Guess who's not retiring--yet.
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Someone's got a future in U.S. Politics!
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L-Girl takes a look at new SCOTUS nom John (not J.D.!!!)Roberts Jr., and his link with the Florida Vote 2000 debacle. Is it possible that they'll all eventually get "thanked" for their help by Bush?
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Finally, Little Richard Evans is mad--again. This time over the lefty-moonbat/Muslim-loving decrying of racial profiling. Essentially--and he can correct me if I'm wrong--if you don't agree with him, then you're supporting the terrorists.

Thanks for all of the pigeon-holing, Dick. You're a true credit to your species. Whatever that is.
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Thursday, July 21, 2005

The Daily Wanker: Big Oil Edition


Wow, the only time that higher gas prices are mentioned as the reason behind the profits was from the writer of the article. Way to act totally clueless, folks.

Gouge 'em if you got 'em!

daily constitutional

What a sleepy little country we live in, when the biggest debate is whether to adopt the new American version of Daylight Savings Time or not. Now that SSM has passed, and MPs are off golfing and barbecuing --what is there to blog about? IS this malaise due to the heat, or some sort of premature TomKat nostalgia?

Who am I kidding? There's always stuff to fill up the bandwidth with, right?

Like... :
Explain to me again why selling our cattle to Americans is a good thing, when the price for beef has gone up? Is it worth the risk if we announce that Celine Dion is BSE-free?

The White House Press corps seems to have lost their vim and vigor regarding the Rove issue. Now, it seems like a bit of a joke, doesn't it? Well, it was fun while it lasted....tell me that you won't give up, folks.

Who knew that being free would feel so much like being...ummm...how you say...dead?
~~~~~
Aww...lighten up, already!
No shit! Talk about your daily constiutional!!!Well, Hiiiiiiiiddy-Hay!

Pretty picky about the details when you don't mind being known for raping a 13 year-old, aren't you Roman?

Ever wonder which films drop the most F-bombs? Now you have the list! Let the wonder end.

Fear of Flight--confirmed.

Smurfs are making a comeback.
Filling
If at first you don't succeed...oh, for the love of--!!! Don't blame the skeptics for not buying you more engagement gifts, okay kids?

Rover strikes again! Er...kinda.

A likely story.
~~~~~~~
Blog round-up:

And finally, there are those who would disagree with this assessment, but:

I am 53% Asshole/Bitch.
Sort of Assholy or Bitchy!
I am abrasive, some people really hate me, but there may be a group of other tight knit assholes and bitches that I can hang out with and get me. Everybody else? Fuck ‘em.
Even I thought that it would be higher!
And, because Ian feels that I've thusfar ignored him on my blogging journey, I send out a big old "Ni!!!" to him: So long, and thanks for all the Export A Greens!

Wednesday, July 20, 2005

CDW: James Doohan


I'll forego the biographical part of this entry. Basically, if you need an introduction to the Man, you're on the wrong blog. But I'll give you a story, so that you're time here isn't wasted. It will make me sound like a total geek, and I don't care. I probably am one anyway.

I met James Doohan at a ST convention in 1991. Me and Liam and Wil and Catherine were in the line-up to get in, when I noticed "Jimmy" walking by. I called his name out, and he came over to us. I shook his hand like the wide-eyed fan that I was/am/will-always-be. I can't remember whether or not there was any autographing--I think that it came later. But I was just happy to see him. He looked way better than the "Scotty" action figure (not a doll, dammit!!!) that I used to have. Short, though--maybe 5"6'--and just a wee bit grumpy, but it was early in the am.

Anyway, fast forward a few hours, to the Q & A session. The four of us stuck out a bit in the room, as most of the attendees were in one costume or another. Vulcans and Klingons and Romulans, Ferengi and so on--were everywhere. So immediately I thought, "Wow, I'm not the biggest geek in the room!" Jimmy came onstage, and took a few digs at Shatner, and spoke a bit on the future of Star Trek as a franchise. Then, some Red-Shirt ensign a few rows ahead of us asked, "Are the plots of Star Trek taken from any real extra-terrestrial experiences?" Silence for a moment. Jimmy's face contorted into a look of confusion. The crowd started snickering. Again, I thought to myself,"Wow, I'm not the biggest geek in the room!" Jimmy's response was priceless, if only slightly (and remarkably so) sarcastic: "No son--the plots are the product of very talented writers." Laughter ensued!

After a few more questions, I put my hand up, and was totally surprised that he called on me. I was going to ask THE.MOST.BRILLIANT.QUESTION.EVER. "In 'Wrath of Khan'", I sez, "after the first attack on the Enterprise," I continue--already sounding horribly geekish--"when you carry Peter to the Bridge--why didn't Scotty just go to SickBay instead?"

I thought that the question had total merit.

People were laughing.

My friends were laughing.

Jimmy looked pissed off at me. As though I had just announced that Shatner was my dad, or something.

I forget his exact response, but it was along the lines of, "I don't know--he was probably in some sort of shock! It was in the script!"

Gawd!!! Not only had I just pissed off Scotty, but I had just made a total ass out of myself too! In a room full of Klingons, no less! What I would have done for a paper bag--to cover my head--or alternatively, to smother myself.

Fifteen years later, he's gone.

Thanks for the good times, sir. Salut!

The Daily Wanker: No-Fatty Edition

Sun columnist, Christina Blizzard, for striking just the right balance between empathy and ignorance.

We'll have a gay old time!


It passed!
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Related item:

It had to be said. Banner is courtesy of the Sweet Jesus Do I Hate Bill O'Reilly site.
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Related story--

Solid gold, baby!

Sorry--that last one was for Trevor! I am now catering to every common denominator!

Back later today with more. I think that the whole kerfuffle with Chretien's journals is bugging me, so it may be about that. Or the fact that I have to wait 6 months to watch season 2 of Battlestar Galactica.

It could just be gas. Time will tell!


Tuesday, July 19, 2005

The Daily Wanker, Extraordinaire!!!

I'm a giant asshole, too!!!
I don't care if he nominates Oprah--the Abomination is deliberately trying to gain control of the Good Ship Titanic way too late, and it will backfire on him, Big Time!

UPDATE: Of course, the notion that he would nominate a woman--white, black or other--was silly, right? Rumour has it that old-time Daddy pal, John Roberts Jr. (no, not J.D.--I mean, John!!! from CBS News!)--a white guy, no less. And get this--not on the pro-choice side!
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Now, I am under no delusions that this little blog of mine is read by more than just 6 or 7 regulars and a few straggling first-timers. But if anyone out there has access to mainstream media types, please implore them to not drop the Hunt for Rove and the Truth!

Thanks!

Too Darn Hot

Let's have a bit o' fun, okay, and give the old Rant-o-matic a break.
Are you kooky like me?
Go on, you know you want to!

How Canadian Are You?

With thanks to G for the link, I scored 100 % Canada Speak, 93% Canadian-ness.
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Do you wanna watch as blogger Richard Evans goes off the deep end? He's been in a war of words with Rabble for a few days now, and is currently likening his treatment there with that of Civil Rights and Women's' Rights activists. Poor Richard. He's offended that he wasn't treated better by the site's regular visitors. Now he wants an apology.

Could it have been something that you said, buddy?
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Aww guys...you shouldn't have!
Stuck buying the office gift? Here's an idea for you!
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At least he said he was sorry! Geez. On the plus side, ladies--there's a job opening now, with amazing benefits!
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Not ruling out a nomination to the Supreme Court, the Abomination kinda deeked his way around saying that Rove may lose his job. Depending on what your definition of "crime" is.

This is helpful advice:

Jack Valenti, a former aide to Democratic President Lyndon Johnson, said he would advise Bush to announce a nominee for the Supreme Court this week to "wipe the Karl Rove story off the front page."

Gosh, thanks for that, Jack.
Ass.
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Emboldened by poll results this weekend, Harpo comes out swinging against terrorism.
Batter, batter, batter, saaaaaaaa-wing...battah!
I believe, if I'm not mistaken, that this confirmation makes it 100% unanimous amongst Canadian politicians that terrorism=bad. Way to set yourself apart from the crowd, Steve-O!
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In the "When you gotta go, you gotta go" department, a $900 fine has gotta be worth not pulling a pants-crap, right?
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It was 313 years ago today...but it just feel like yesterday, right?
July 19 1692
Five Salem witches are hanged for the crime of witchcraft, based primarily on the accusations of little girls who were bewitched. Eventually, the village executes a total of 20 witches.

~~time flies!~~

Monday, July 18, 2005

New Template = Expanded BlogRoll

Well, why not take the time, right?

I've been meaning to play catch-up with all of the different blogs that I've been visiting. I took this as an opportunity to clean out my "favourites" folder.

I also moved a few things around, but the Harper picture is staying put for now.

Happy blogging, amigos!

The Daily Wanker

Because it can't always be about Santorum and Rove and Bush and Harper, Funcentral is proud to nominate....drumroll please....
If only I knew that having sex with my 14 year old student was wrong--oh well...Good Times!
...the "craziest" blonde Floridian teacher ever, Debra Lafave.

I'm giving Rove a pass today, only in the hope that others continue with the daily muck-racking. There is no "I" in team after all.

Just Another Manic Monday

Don't forget Democratic Underground's Top 10 Conservative Idiots!!!
And you thought that YOU had a bad week!!!
At times, I wonder how they stop themselves at 10.

In other news, how's this as an example of the legal system at work? Aye-yay-yay! 3 police cars and a chopper? Really? No S.W.A.T.?

Seriously, WTF?!? Mickey's on the Homeland Security payroll now, too?!?

Another example of the Religious Right meddling with politics--in Venezuela.

A Canadian perspective of Rovergate--but it stops short of putting the pieces together as to why it matters. For that, I recommend this amazing clip  A story so complicated, maybe we should all just focus on Tom Cruise.from the Daily Show! 6 minutes long, but it'll put it all together for you. And you'll laugh...!!! Take the time to visit his archives while you're there. You will not be disappointed, trust me!

Tiger finally remembered how to play golf.

Worst! Birthday! Ever!

Martin sticks to his word...with an option to waffle later, if he so chooses.

Does this mean no 8 Mile 2?

One good reason why you shouldn't blog before bedtime.

Tintin-mania continues to sweep...umm...just Belgium.

Finally, if you have the time to spare (and if you didn't, why would you be here, right?) take this week's Radar Celeb quiz, and learn what Colin Farrell did with a tranny, and why Brad's rubbing Vaseline on himself. Aye!

Discussion topic: Will Bush cut Rove loose this week? Or will they remain BFF's until the end? Or...and this is a stretch...will it all be revealed to be Clinton's fault? Roll with it...

happy Monday!

Oooooooooh the shame of it all...

This is only because we were forced to watch Hee Haw as children...
I am 26% White Trash.
Not Too White Trashy
The white trash in my blood will not keep me from becoming a doctor or a lawyer, but it will keep me from a good haircut and any sort of fashion sense.

Sunday, July 17, 2005

I love this site!!!

It satisfies the geek side of me, AND the reality show whore side of me.

Go visit Survivor: Tatooine

--new post up tomorrow. I'm giving this new template a whirl. It is much easier on the old eyes then the former, "unripened eggplant" colour.

A few updates:

Finally, my buddy Robster is doing a bang-up job following the Rove implosion. Please pay him a visit, and if you like his work, tell him so.

Later, skaters!


Pulling Outta Here To Win!

I would drive all night...just to get back home. Well, at least most of the day. Thus ends the weekend of Bruce, and back to our regularly scheduled programming.

It isn't as though I've missed any of the big news stories...because they haven't happened yet.

  • Rove isn't in jail yet
  • Bush hasn't been impeached yet
  • Cruise hasn't been exposed as the ego-driven fraud that he is yet
  • Stephen Harper still can't get any love or respect
  • World poverty hasn't been eradicated yet
  • Matthew Sweet's album "Girlfriend" hasn't made the top of any lists yet

...One Fine Day, right?

Until then, what is going on in my world?

Well, my 11 year-old neice is loving the new Potter book, along with half the planet it seems. I've barely spoken to her since she started reading it.

Me and Z and Sweet Baby checked out Fantastic Four yesterday. I can see it having a sequel, certainly moreso than the Hulk or Daredevil. I hadn't read a comic in years, but it took me all of two seconds to remember the name of the Baxter Building. I love the smell of mylar bags in the morning...(props to anyone who knows what I'm talking about!)

In other news:

  • Speaking of Ricky, his blaming Boston for the kiddie-molesting priests is kind of like saying that the height of the World Trade Centers is the reason that they were hit. Or maybe if the Jews hadn't been so Jewish, then maybe Hitler wouldn't have...see?...!!! It is a bad argument no matter how you make it! Stop blaming the victims, you horrible, vile man!
  • We're back to "An apple a day" then...thanks for nothing, Heavenly Father!
  • Dude looks like a Lady! And then, "she" becomes a "he". Overnight!!!
  • RCC in the Crapper!
  • Is there a Mother's Day card for this?
  • Ahnold quitting job--no, not the Governator one, the other one!

Blog Round-Up:

  • The most important round-up of all, from Democratic Underground's BlogBox
  • Matthew Good on Gen. Rick Hillier
  • Shakespeare's Sister tries to wake up the media--again!
  • More Photo-Shop fun from Rick Mercer
  • Josh Marshall attempts to make some sense of the whole Plame incident, timeline-wise, at least
  • Robert at My Blahg writes about how the Left deals with corruption, while the Right whines about it--when it isn't causing it, that is. Of course, it is posts like this that cause the neo-cons to froth like Cujo!
  • Richard Evans, being himself (warm, generous, unbiased, mature) as he ventures into the very scary Moonbat territory
  • Liam, still no posting...crickets chirping...zzzzzzzzzzzzz
  • L-Girl knows her Bruce, shares a liking for the 905 and (presumably) the Daily Show
  • Some scary librarian stories, from my fave librarian, G
  • Brad always impressess me!
  • Stephen at the Hive on "jingo-ism"
  • Where's Zorph, you ask? Section 15 knows.
  • Wesley Crusher plays poker, too!

Have a pleasant Lord's Day, all! See you back on Monday!

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