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Saturday, July 16, 2005

Bye-Bye, BBQ Boy

Poor Steve-O. With word that a resounding 59% of Canadians want to see him step down as CPC leader, what's a guy to do? The football scraps didn't work, nor did the gay cowboy look (see sidebar) or the friendly-smiley guy look.

The results of this spring's political ruckus have to be disappointing to him. He didn't push Martin out of power, there was no election called, Grewal essentially imploded, SSM passed, ties with Quebec are in tatters, and now fewer people actually like Harper than last year, too.

How do you spin that amongst the Grass Roots?

Maybe--and this is free advice--you may wanna skip the party faithful BBQ's, and head out to the Harvey's of the nation. A career change is in order, and you can't start your training fast enough.

Don't even ask--we do want fries with that. For here, thanks!

The Weekend Wanker

For having the unmitigated nerve to blame an entire city for a bunch of child-raping priests, the second Weekend Wanker award goes to Sen. Rick Santorum.

The only way he could have received a more negative reaction was to blame Rose Kennedy.

Friday, July 15, 2005


I don't mean to brag, but...Oh, you beuatiful man, you!
Setlist: Into the Fire/Reason to Believe/Devils & Dust/Empty Sky/Long Time Comin'/Highway 29/For You/Two Faces/State Trooper/All I'm Thinkin' About/Brilliant Disguise/Reno/Wreck on the Highway/Lost in the Flood/The Rising/Further on (Up the Road)/Jesus Was an Only Son/This Hard Land/The Hitter/Matamoros Banks//

Encore: Darlington County/Bobby Jean/Wild Billy's Circus Story/The Promised Land/Dream Baby Dream --setlists courtesy of Backstreets.Com

The power managed to stay on, in this Ontario summer of brown and blackouts. Pity that the air conditioning crapped out. And that I ate too much prime rib for supper--argh.

Those were the only down points to an otherwise amazing night. Freakin' "Wild Billy's Circus Story"!!! After seeing him for the last twenty-one years, he finally plays "Wild Billy's"--now, I can stop going to concerts altogether.

"Reason to Believe" was barely identifiable, but gripping--the very definition of the walking blues. "Empty Sky" was even more haunting without the Band with him. He seemed happier and more enthusiatic than the rumours that I'd been hearing have made him sound.

"Two Faces"= a happy Andy!!! But I miss the Wurlitzer.

The big differences between last night's show and the one in Ottawa on Wednesday (that we missed) is the prime example why seeing Bruce only once per tour, is never enough.

Thank you for the music, and giving it to us.


Ever ask yourself if you're on the wrong side?

I hope Tony Blair is asking himself that, after this news:

--from AMERICAblog:
Bush admin may be responsible for botching effort to thwart London bombing
ABC News just reported that the British authorities say they have evidence that the London attacks last week were an operation planned by Al Qaeda for the last two years. This was an operation the Brits thought they caught and stopped in time, but they were wrong. The piece of the puzzle ABC missed is that this is an operation the Bush administration helped botch last year

Anyone care to explain to me what the Bush Administrations successes have been? Aside from the multi-trillion dollar debt, countless thousands of deaths over oil rights, and an annoying pronunciation of the word "nuclear", of course.

Ask not what your blog can do for you...

Giddy-up, folks--Fun's off to Hyannisport for the suhmma, with Bahbby and Jackie...
Party on, Wayne.
You too, Garth.

Day of Infamy

What a super, upbeat day July 15 has been throughout history.

Take a look:

July 15 1205

In a letter to the French clergy, Pope Innocent III declares that the Jews are consigned to continual subjugation just for crucifying our Lord and Savior. In the words of the Pope, the Jews "shall not dare raise their neck, bowed under the yoke of perpetual slavery."

July 15 1857

During an uprising, the group of British women and children being held by rebels in Chawnpore, India are cut to pieces with knives and hatchets. Then their remains are tossed into a well. When British forces finally retake Chawnpore, the captured rebels are taken back to the house where the slaughter took place. Then they are forced to lick the floors clean, after which they are hanged.

July 15 1864

A train containing hundreds of Confederate prisoners through Shohola, PA crashes head on with a coal train. The trains were off schedule because of an escape attempt. 74 people, mostly prisoners, died.
July 15 1869

During war with Prussia, French ruler Napoleon III commissions Hippolye Mege Mouries to find a butter substitute. A patent for margarine is issued, it being based on beef fat instead of milk fat. But even with the tactically superior spread, the war is still lost.
July 15 1974

During a live broadcast of the Sarasota, Florida morning news program Suncoast Digest, newscaster Chris Chubbuck tells the audience: "In keeping with Channel 40's policy of bringing you the latest in blood and guts, and in living color, you are going to see another first: an attempted suicide." Then she blows her brains out with a .38 revolver.
July 15 1997

Fashion designer/fabulous homosexual Gianni Versace is assassinated outside his Miami Beach home by a crazed manwhore.

So, if you end up having a better day than any of these fine folks, count yourselves ahead of the game!

Monte has it all figured out

Gee, if only I were as smart as Monte Solberg.

Monte knows what's wrong with Canada, and doesn't mind sharing it with the world.

How kind.

What we need if we want to really help people are big honkin' debates about how completely Canada sucks in some areas (How are things for natives on reserves these days?), without fear of someone suggesting that it's unCanadian to do that. In fact ideally Adam, I'd love to see you say that it's unCanadian to not criticize Canada where criticism is warranted. I'm talking about debates that engage the public on the issues that really will improve lives, and that just won't happen Adam if we stress the, "we've got it pretty good" thing. We need the debates because otherwise people start to just look at their country and government as some kind of gigantic free Walmart, but with really bad service.
As loathe as I am to bringing Wal-MArt into the National Debate, now that you have--what is the deal with the neo-con Reform/Alliance/CCRAP/CPC/Fraser Institute refugees expecting "Lowest Price Is The Law" service from the Canadian government? If you want quality, it costs. If you want some third-world health care and infrastructure, you will need to pay tax. Not all governmental expenditures are fraught with scandal and corruption. Get off of that kick, it really is getting old.

Back to Monte's World! His latest post is a response to (somewhat laughably filled with irony, given who his dad is) Adam Radwanski's post asking whether or not Conservatives hate Canada.
The problem with Liberalism today is that it's all about strategy, and politics, and doing whatever it takes to get elected. But sometimes doing what it takes to get elected is so completely at odds with I think is right for the country that I would rather dive head first into a wood chipper than pretend that I'm okay with how things are. Somebody once pointed out that the opposite of love isn't hate; it's indifference, and it's true. Adam, me and my fellow conservatives are not indifferent to Canada. We think Canada can be so much better than it is today.
By better, of course, they mean, as it was in the old days. Circa 1840. Before SSM, or taxes, or the hated Trudeau and Chretien eras, or laws against shooting people trespassing on one's property. You know, little things.

Like conservatives everywhere, Monte has all the answers, without ever asking any questions, or considering that maybe he's wrong. The progressive path always scares them. So long as they're gathering their wagons and spouting their rhetoric and praising Bush, I trust that society is moving in the right direction. Heck, even poor Ralph Klein is losing their love. From poster boy to "pussy" in only a decade and change. Stephen Harper, this is your future.

I advise caution when posting on Richard Evans' site--he will label you a moonbat if you don't provide proper password ("Yabba-Dabba-Doo", by the way) and speak the CPC language of love. As with most conservatives, it is his way or the highway. He was even so kind as to post a lovely link to my site a few weeks ago.

Enjoy, and happy Friday!

Thursday, July 14, 2005

The Daily Wanker

Why so happy, Rover?

Maybe because it took two years for the Democrats to catch onto you?

Better late than never doesn't apply all the time, so that is why House Democrats (collectively) are today's Daily Wanker!

If they get away with the Plame case, they will not look back and they will take no prisoners. Thanks a lot folks!

Down In Jungleland

I hate posting away from home, without all of my Favourites and personal settings, but I'll give it a whirl.

In a (thusfar) slow newsday, the big story has to be the Emmy nominations. I'm sure that Paul Martin is somewhere wasting taxpayers' money, and Bush is somewhere contravening the US Constitution, and Halliburton is earning money off of the spilt blood of Iraqis, but... day-um!!!... ---Bree's gonna win an Emmy, ya'll!

In case you didn't hear (or care), the NHL reached a deal. Resume yawning.

"But sir--this wasn't on the curriculum!" UK teacher resorts to non-medicinal tension relief.

Cooter disses the remake. Join the freakin' club, man.

Lobotomies are back in vogue. Next to return--leeches!

Speaking of...I always knew that babies were little bundles of evil--now there's proof!

Starbucks joins the Big Brother kick!

The U.S press continues to revel in asking serious questions. “It may not look like it, but there's a little flesh that's been taken out of me the past few days,” sulks Poor Widdle Scotty. Awwww!

This is one of the reasons that we had the CRTC to begin with, right?

If falling off of bikes makes one presidential, then check out Mark Warner!

FakeTomCruise posts a lovenote to Rob Thomas--because you're so Smooth, man!

Jake Bronstein's in Vegas, baby, and all we can do is watch!

Could someone please convince my friend Liam to blog? I'm not even asking for a daily submission, but how about bi-weekly?!? 25 minutes every fourteen days? Your dumps take up more time, brother!

My Blahg details MP Monte Solberg's great American adventure into oblivion.

In case you've had your fill of Dr. Phil (and who amongst us has not?), Nerve has some sexual advice from nudists.

Toronto--not exactly as shown
We're off to the "City that sleeps, but never snores" soon, so have a great night!I'll be back in the morning with a Bruce review.

Ralph Klein Photo-Shop Fun

Go visit Rick Mercer's blog now, to join in the fun and merriment!

Bruce Update from Ottawa

Lightening strikes--the Corel Centre, at least. This updated set list is from Backstreets.com:

Setlist: My Beautiful Reward/Reason to Believe/Devils & Dust/Lonesome Day/Long Time Comin'/Silver Palomino/Tougher Than the Rest/The River/Part Man, Part Monkey/All the Way Home/Highway Patrolman/Reno/I Wish I Were Blind/Racing in the Street/The Rising/Spare Parts/Jesus Was an Only Son/This Hard Land/The Hitter/Matamoros Banks//

Encore: Ramrod/Bobby Jean/The Promised Land/Dream Baby Dream

8 hours and counting!

Wednesday, July 13, 2005

Microsoft President V 2.0

The Daily Wanker

With Karl Rove in the background, President Bush answers a reporter's question after a Cabinet meeting.
After going for almost six decades demonstrating all of the restraint and caution of a wolverine on crack, George Bush today said:
"I will be more than happy to comment on this matter once this investigation is

If only he could've held up until the U.N. Weapons Inspectors were done investigating, before destroying a country.

For never once leaving the side of the man who brought him to power, GWB is today's Daily Wanker. Keep it up Georgie, and you could go for an unprecedented double-header. You have it in you!

New Sensations!

Because life abhors a vacuum, I've recently added these sites to my blog-roll. In their own way, they each do something that I wish I could emulate. But I won't. I'm not that talented, and they're too good at it. So, give them a visit, if you haven't already. And tell them that Funcentral sent you!

My Blahg
The Funny Farm
Five of Five
Library Bitch
A Little Bit Left
Journalists Against Bush's BS
In other news, Ottawa's filthy rich pitch a hissy fit, and for once--lose!

Ottawa's mildly rich, however, got their way--again!

Hackers are hereby served notice.

Operation Yellow Elephant striking fear in the hearts of young Repugs.

"Whorehouse Days" cancelled?!? But--I had reservations and everything! Now, what are we going to do for vacation? Sheesh.

Speaking of whores...

"I'm so pretty...oh so pretty... Seig Heil!"

Still, I cannot give a crap about Coldplay. Anyone care to fill me in on what I'm missing?

Angelina-itis strikes again. Get well soon, BP!

Paulie Martin blogs, sorta!

...so does Tom Cruise. Or someone who says that he's Tommy, anyway.

Stick Figure porn here!

If women ever figure out how to work a barbecue, we're done for guys!

On that note, have another happy hump day! Me and Sweet Baby are off to T.O. to catch Bruce, with my sister on Thursday night. Posts may happen, maybe not. I have a Fantastic Four date with my nephew, too!

Tuesday, July 12, 2005

Freedom 55+ Fight

I'm lucky in a sense, that my employer (the Government of Canada) won't likely default on my pension when it comes time to retire. I know that I'm luckier than most. With the likes of Enron and United Airlines defaulting on their pension plans, any number of private enterprises could be next.

Jack Layton and the NDP have introduced the “Workers First Bill” (C-281):

Each year, too many Canadians have their pensions cut or lose them altogether because when companies pay back creditors after declaring bankruptcy – workers are at the back of the line.
Under present laws, a company’s taxes, lenders and suppliers are all paid before employees are paid their pensions, benefits, vacation pay, severance pay, or even their wages for work they already completed.
This is wrong and needs to change.
Add your name to the support list if you agree that this is something to fight for.

Click here for the full text of the legislation.

There's no room for politics when it comes to a comfortable retirement!

The Daily Wanker

Poor Scotty:

MCCLELLAN: I appreciate your question. I think your question is being asked related to some reports that are in reference to an ongoing criminal investigation. The criminal investigation that you reference is something that continues at this point.And as I’ve previously stated, while that investigation is ongoing, the White House is not going to comment on it.The president directed the White House to cooperate fully with the investigation. And as part of cooperating fully with the investigation, we made a decision that we weren’t going to comment on it while it is ongoing.

Q: I actually wasn’t talking about any investigation. But in June of 2004, the president said that he would fire anybody who was involved in this leak to the press about information. I just wanted to know: Is that still his position?

MCCLELLAN: Yes, but this question is coming up in the context of this ongoing investigation, and that’s why I said that our policy continues to be that we’re not going to get into commenting on an ongoing criminal investigation from this podium.The prosecutors overseeing the investigation had expressed a preference to us that one way to help the investigation is not to be commenting on it from this podium....

Q: Scott, if I could point out: Contradictory to that statement, on September 29th of 2003, while the investigation was ongoing, you clearly commented on it. You were the first one to have said that if anybody from the White House was involved, they would be fired. And then, on June 10th of 2004, at Sea Island Plantation, in the midst of this investigation, when the president made his comments that, yes, he would fire anybody from the White House who was involved. So why have you commented on this during the process of the investigation in the past, but now you’ve suddenly drawn a curtain around it under the statement of, 'We’re not going to comment on an ongoing investigation'?

How could he have known that the press were going to grow a collective pair?

I have sympathy for him right now, if only because he is on the receiving end of 5 years of Bush angst. But the wells of sympathy are not bottomless. The longer that this goes on, and that he remains a part of this mess, the more he in fact, becomes culpable.

Hopefully, Scott's resume is up-to-date.

Victims of the New Paranoia

To listen to the harpie-esque Anne McClellan (and really, who can for more than 30 seconds--Yoko Ono albums are more soothing) tell it, Canadians should be buckling down and preparing for a devastating terrorist event.

Screw that.

By giving terrorists of any nationality that amount of power over my life, they will have won. And they didn't have to blow up a God damned thing. I grew up thinking that a nuclear attack would finish us off. As if my fervent imagination wasn't enough, they came out with movies like The Day After and Threads, to drive their message home.

Should we just give in? I thought that the world was supposed to be safer with Saddam Hussein out of power. Osama bin Laden didn't matter--that's why he hadn't been captured. Bush was kicking Big Terror's ass--that's why he was chosen over Kerry. (I can't use the term "elected--not even in a rant!) Was this all just a dream? Or hype? Lies?

The buck, so to speak, stops here.

I will not live my life in fear, ever again. I will not live my life anticipating horrific violence.

I will live my life with all of the optimism that a middle-aged-ish man can muster, without the benefit of anti-depressants. I will live my life anticipating my next kiss.

To do anything else would be to declare defeat. I don't know who exactly is threatening us, but that doesn't really matter. Whatever they want, they will not get it from me.

Fight the Powers That Be!

Monday, July 11, 2005

"...and by no involvement, I meant of course, that he did it!"

Two years worth of Scott McClellan on the ropes over the Valerie Plame incident, coming to a head today when he (out of the blue) decided not to comment on an on-going investigation.

Sept. 29, 2003
Q: When you talked to Mr. Rove, did you discuss, "Did you ever have this information?"

A: I've made it very clear, he was not involved, that there's no truth to the suggestion that he was.

Oct. 7, 2003
Q: You have said that you personally went to Scooter Libby (Vice President Dick Cheney's chief of staff), Karl Rove and Elliott Abrams (National Security Council official) to ask them if they were the leakers. Is that what happened? Why did you do that? And can you describe the conversations you had with them? What was the question you asked?

A: Unfortunately, in Washington, D.C., at a time like this there are a lot of rumors and innuendo. There are unsubstantiated accusations that are made. And that's exactly what happened in the case of these three individuals. They are good individuals. They are important members of our White House team. And that's why I spoke with them, so that I could come back to you and say that they were not involved. I had no doubt with that in the beginning, but I like to check my information to make sure it's accurate before I report back to you, and that's exactly what I did.

July 11, 2005

Q: Do you want to retract your statement that Rove, Karl Rove, was not involved in the Valerie Plame expose?

A: I appreciate the question. This is an ongoing investigation at this point. The president directed the White House to cooperate fully with the investigation, and as part of cooperating fully with the investigation, that means we're not going to be commenting on it while it is ongoing.

Q: But Rove has apparently commented, through his lawyer, that he was definitely involved.

A: You're asking me to comment on an ongoing investigation.

No comment necessary, Scotty. The people are starting to speak for themselves!

Hmm--what to do? Peterson's already been convicted. Hurricane Dennis is up in Ohio now. Jackson's been cleared. Cruise has calmed down.

Quickly--is there any Democrat that we can smear for saying something truthful?

Oh...here we go...

Apparently, all Hillary Clinton has to do to get a comment out of the Republi-monkeys is compare George Bush (favourably, I might add--Alfred is God!!!!) to Mad Magazine's Alfred E. Neuman.

Like she was the first one to do so.

It is beyond belief how the Bush-ites have managed to squirm and brow-beat their way out of all responsibility for the crap that they have caused over the last 43/4 years. But no one is lucky all of the time. The shit is starting to stick. Matt Cooper's notes are slowly becoming public.

The Plame issue may not be the fatal blow. It may not even be DSM. The polls show that Bush has mispent all of his "political capital", and has probably run up a deficit on that account, too! But one fine day, and it will not be long at all, it will be done, and he will be laughed back to Crawford--exiled, like Napoleon.

The world will breathe a collective sigh of relief.

And we will cheer!

The Daily Wanker

Public Safety Minister Anne McLellan, berating Canadians for not being "mentally prepared" for acts of terrorism being heaped upon our sleepy little northern hamlets.

Jesus, Anne--if you were doing your JOB, we wouldn't have to prepare for anything more painful than Rita McNeil coming out of semi-retirement!

Check-Out Time

We all have to sometime, right? Now I know how...

You scored as Posion. Your death will be by poison, probably because you are a glutton and are around so many people that it would be easy to get away with it. Several important people in history share your fate.







Natural Causes


















Cut Throat


How Will You Die??
created with QuizFarm.com

I'm not feeling very paranoid yet. Really. What was that noise?!?!

I cribbed this link from Section 15, who got it from Cathie From Canada. Who got it from someone else. Damn, this thing is almost as hot as the pesky "Book Meme" that was/is still going around. That being said, if they're up to it, I call on Liam, Syl, Robster, Damien and Laura (if she isn't too busy packing) to take the quiz too. The first two especially--if for no other reason than they need to blog more often.

Remember, sharing is caring, folks!

Just share within the law, okay?

Would it be the epitomy of ego to nominate myself for this? If yes, then there's always Rob Anders.

Those Scots--such a rugged, determined breed.

Mile-High, baby! Way to take responsibility, Al. I'm sure that your Mom and Dad would be proud.

Sometimes, the acorn catches a breeze, and falls a bit further from the tree than anticipated. Kids these days, eh Billy?

Don't forget to check out the latest Top Ten Conservative Idiots list from the always-informative Democratic Underground.

Is there a form of Hell worse than being one of David Foster's stepsons? Watching them on TV maybe.

Have a groovy Monday.

Sunday, July 10, 2005

The Week That Wasn't

This week, the world did not come to a horrific and fireball-ish end, following the Same-Sex Marriage vote.

This week, Karl Rove did not go to jail.

This week, Tom Cruise did not make amends with Brooke Shields.

This week, I did not win any lotteries, thereby preventing me from retiring before turning 40.

This week, Bono did not say anything humble.

This week, George Bush did not say anything remotely coherent.

This week, for that matter, neither did Paul Martin.

Stuff that did, sadly/bizarrely/regrettably/finally, happen:

Gotta go--there's some dishes that need washing, and a wife that needs hugging. Not necessarily in that order!

War of the Crass Comments

Do you suppose that it was pure human kindness like this that prompted Fox News blowhard Brit Hume's son Sandy to kill himself in 1998?

"My first thought when I heard - just on a personal basis, when I heard
there had been this attack and I saw the futures this morning, which were really
in the tank, I thought, "Hmmm, time to buy."- Fox News's Brit Hume, 7/7/05


Publius over at Gods of the Copybook Headings manages to drop a stinky load on the Alberta separation scenario. It writes:

Perhaps the threat of an independent Alberta will snap this country out of its paralysis and move us toward freedom.

Threat? Just do it, you big bunch of crybabies! We have tolerated almost 40 years of this kind of crap from Quebec. If you truly believe that you have it so tough here, just go! Spare us the tantrums and ideological debates. Pack your bags and leave.

It is off course, exactly what the New World Order/Bush Administration is waiting for, not that that worries Alberta very much. Bush is their hero, it seems.


The war of words and thoughts has been running rampant throughout this continent, more so in the past year. Battle lines seem to have been etched permanently between the left and the right, without regard for the moderates in-between.

The war has given rise to many new weapons, the most powerful of which seems to be the Internet. Blogging and websites have popped up supporting one side or the other. The unspoken rule seems to be: enter only if you agree with what I'm saying--trolls will be vilified and excoriated.

There has recently been a call for renewed civility amongst Canadian bloggers, all in the name of decency and good neighbour-ship. On the surface, it seems to be a noble proposition. We should, at the end of the day, be able to get along with each other while recognizing our differences. I normally support these types of ventures.

But not this time. I will no longer go gunning to incite flare-ups on other sites, but I will not tone down the rhetoric here. To tone down is to give up. The "other side" will not look upon our milk of human kindness for what it is, but rather, as weakness and submission.

The deep dissatisfaction that Alberta feels towards Canada is merely manifesting itself in the SSM issue. The truth is, they have felt detached from the country for almost their entire history. By pinning their frustrations on the extension of rights to one segment of the population, they are further entrenching themselves as disenfranchised loners.

Until they collectively learn to act like adults instead of the sulky brattish children they have presented themselves to be, they should stay in the corner for a "time-out".

Ain't We Lucky We Got 'Em--Good Tiiiiimes!

After all was said, done and counted I ended up ahead $10, which is a far cry from last time. This bit of winning was only due to me being allowed to buy back in. I pissed away my chips faster than you could...well now...I just can't think of a comparison. It was pretty fast.

Food--if I have to say so myself(and I don't!!!)--was fantastic. The jerk chicken was a big hit. A bit spicier than I thought it would be, but still amazing. The sausages were a bit too well-done--probably victims of me doing too many things at once.

What I really like about our games is that there isn't a shark amongst us. We're just a bunch of regular guys who sometimes manage to pull off a decent hand. Plus, we're a pretty fun bunch too! I might hold another one in late August or mid-September, but I'll give the rest of them an opportunity to have one before then.

I'll be back later today with more, but right now je suis tres fatigue!

CDW: Chuck Cadman

Very sad news out of Surrey, that the Independent MP Chuck Cadman has succumbed to skin cancer.

--full story--

Independent MP Chuck Cadman, who cast the deciding vote that let Paul Martin's minority Liberal government survive a confidence motion in May, has died of skin cancer. The 57-year-old, who had been battling the disease for two years, died on Saturday with his wife at his side at his home in Surrey, B.C., his office said in a news release. Cadman, who was first elected in 1997, represented the suburban Vancouver riding of Surrey North first for the Reform Party, then the Canadian Alliance and finally as an independent MP.
Partisan politics aside, he seemed to have always stood up for what he believed in, and he will be missed in the House, and by the country which he served proudly.

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