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Saturday, July 09, 2005

I still think he looks more like Porky Pig than anything else...but...

Funcentral Cleans House

Hey kids,

While getting ready for Funcentral Pokerfest V2.0, I don't really have time to sit and think of neat and interesting things to blog. What my excuse is for the rest of the time...? Be charitable, is all I ask.

But in the interim, I cleaned up the blogroll section at the right-hand side. I took down some links that weren't very interesting, added a few that are highly amusing to me right now, and tinkered a bit with the layout. I also added a little vanity feature--the "Rate My Site" option.

If you have any suggestions, complaints or words of wisdom or vitriol to share, don't be shy. I'm here to serve you.

wish me well--second place is not an option tonight--I'm going for the big prize!

Not everyone is silent in the Plame case

Joe Conason never disappoints.

Joe never pulls his punches.

Bush Remains Mum On Wilson Smear
Even as Matthew Cooper of Time and Judith Miller of The New York Times both face prison time for protecting their White House sources, a question arises that the indignant Washington press corps seems to have forgotten to ask: Why hasn' the President of the United States tracked down the officials who leaked the C.I.A. identity of Valerie Plame Wilson, fired them and turned them over to the special prosecutor?

George W. Bush hasn't been obliged to answer that difficult question because the media's understandably preoccupied by the prosecutorial challenge to the essential practice of shielding sources, has obscured the central issues of the Wilson case. Observing the media coverage, as the prison gates dramatically swing open, it would be easy to forget the events that led to this confrontation between the two news organizations and prosecutor Patrick Fitzgerald. Those events do not flatter the Bush administration

--read the entire article--

Shakespeare's Sister is in touch with how angry they are. Are you?

I'm angry because it looks very likely that the President's deputy chief of staff and ubiquitous Svengali, Karl Rove, sought vengeance on someone who tried to tell the truth about their machinations by revealing the name of his wife, who was a covert CIA operative, and I'm especially angry that the biggest part of that story, that she was working on weapons proliferation, the very thing that allegedly was of primary concern in selling the war to the American people, has been ignored. That he may have acted unethically or even broken the law is small potatoes compared to how thoroughly he may well have jeopardized good intelligence-gathering on a very real threat to Americans.


Are you angry yet? You should be. What truths are the Bush administration trying to hide now?

Never forget to keep a sense of humour about things, though.

As difficult as it may be sometimes.

Dude needs to get a new hobby

Try blogging, buddy!

Meet Anthony Scholfield:

Anthony really digs thongs.


"...When his home was raided in 2003, police found 854 thongs stashed throughout the crib, with the unmentionables hidden in shoe boxes, a briefcase, and a Pokemon lunch pail. After copping a felony plea in December 2003, Scholfield was sentenced to 90 days in jail, placed on probation for three years, and ordered to pay $8,873.04 in restitution."

Pokemon was unavailable for comment.

Friday, July 08, 2005

The Weekend Wanker

Bishop Ronald Fabbro, who is under the impression that only one member of the Roman Catholic Church --anywhere!!!--violates the teachings of the church.
Bishop Ronald Fabbro of the Diocese of London admonished Windsor-Tecumseh
MP Joe Comartin in a July 6 letter to priests, saying “a person who does not
accept Catholic teaching on fundamental matters is disqualified from acting on
behalf of the church in a public capacity.”
No sex before marriage? That never happens. Birth control??? Nooooooooo! The practice of ass-raping altar boys? Meh.

Lose the hypocrisy, before trying to win the moral battles.

It will now cost me more to retire

See, this is the kind of story that often gets missed on days when the War on Terror goes poorly. Beyond all of the photos and press conferences and outpourings of condolences, my super-ann contributions are going up next year.
The increase, which begins in January, will amount to an extra $150 in contributions in 2006 for an employee earning $50,000 and further rate increases will continue to be phased in over the following seven years. Officials declined to give estimates of what the total increase would amount to by 2013, saying too many variables were involved to accurately do so.
Crass though it may sound, perhaps they could have released this news on a less violent day than yesterday.

As for that last quoted sentence, surely to God someone in Treasury Board has done some number crunching. Give us an estimate! Is it enough to cover what you need? Do you need more? Are you, in fact, gouging us? If you cannot calculate it accurately, do you really need the money to begin with? Did you know all of this before you nickel-and-dimed us during contract negotiations last fall?

If it is all the same with you Mr. Alcock, and you'll be taking another $150 per annum from me anyways, why not bump it up to $160, and give the other $10 to Africa? They can probably use it more than me and my DVD collection.

~~kudos to Jack, for being statesmanlike--again, yesterday.

Take the High School French quiz, s'il vous plait! Bon fetes semaines, mes amis!


Mission Accomplished

Lies are the new "Truth".

"Last Throes", eh?"

War is Peace.

Thursday, July 07, 2005

The Daily Wanker

Judge Thomas F. Hogan

For not letting a little thing like the U.S. Constitution lie in the way of scaring the crap out of journalists everywhere.

"Journalists are not entitled to promise complete confidentiality -- no one in America is," he wrote.
Let me guess--he's the type of activist judge that Bush approves of, right?

Now Is Not The Time...

...to drop the Downing Street Memo and the Valerie Plame investigation.

Yet, they are all but missing from the headlines. All of the focus is on London, and the tragedy there. I'm not cynical enough to think that the timing of this morning's tragedy was such to avert the media away from the road to impeachment.

But before this morning, it was the Tom Cruise-trainwreck-of-a-career story, and before that was Michael Jackson's verdict. Enough with the subterfuge.

Start asking the tough questions.

Why is Judith Miller a criminal, and Robert Novak is not?

Who leaked Valerie Plame's name, and how were they connected to the White House?

Was Bush involved with this?

Who benefited from Plame's identity being revealed?

What aspects of the DSM are incorrect?

When will Congress prepare articles of impeachment?

When will a company other than Halliburton be able to earn money off of the illegal invasion and rape of Iraq?

Does Karl Rove look good in prison orange, or does it wash out his pasty, porcine complexion?

If Osama bin Laden is in Saudia Arabia, will the U.S. go to war with that country, in keeping with it's "concealing known terrorists" policy?

Finally, why didn't NORAD shoot down any of the planes on September 11, 2001? Was it because they were told not too?

Kirby Finally Gets Respect

He really was the King:

(Jack) Kirby is perhaps best known for his superhero collaborations with Marvel impresario Stan Lee, which revolutionized the comic industry in the 1960s.
Working together, the two invented a new breed of character - flawed, self-loathing loners who often viewed their superpowers as a curse.
Stan Lee took all of the credit, and the spotlight, while Jack stood behind. Unfortunately, he's not still around to see his creations come to the silver screen, where the real money is.

Oh, Santorum...! --and other stuff

Oh Ricky, you're so fine...

A day without a Santorum headline is like a day without chlamydia. As it happens, our boy Rick is something of a writer. Isn't everyone these days, though? Well, Rick's got a book coming out soon, and in typical fashion it has a few provocative chapters to it.

Like where he compares abortion to slavery.

In the book, Santorum makes the case that abortion puts the liberty rights of the mother before those of her child, just as the rights of slave owners were put before those of slaves.
I understand (I think) how he made that leap of logic. I just don't get why he stayed there long enough to write a book based on that crap. His arguments have all of the substance of the frothy mix which now lovingly shares his name.

This is all little more than Ricky's stab at vitality at being considered a viable candidate in 2008, on the off-chance that martial law isn't declared before then. He has Hillary directly in his sights when he writes:

"The African proverb says, 'It takes a village to raise a child,"' Santorum writes. "The American version is 'It takes a village to raise a child -- if the village wants that child."'
...Santorum questions why Clinton and other liberals tout decreasing abortion numbers if abortion is OK. "When you look at the politics she would change, her 'politics of meaning' boil down to little more than feel-good rhetoric masking a radical left agenda," Santorum said.
That's all fine and dandy. But can you ride a bike, Rick?
Will the attack on the First Amendment ever end?
Arianna writes:

How is it that the second most powerful man in America is about to take a fall and the mainstream media are largely taking a pass? Could it be that the fear of Karl Rove and this White House is so great that not even the biggest of the media big boys are willing to take them on? Does the answer to that one go without saying?
We live in dangerous times, folks, when the lives and livlihoods of those who report the news find themselves becoming the news, especially with such frequency.

The BBC story is excellent on this front:

Many journalists are concerned the case could prompt potential whistleblowers to withhold information from the media and restrict their role as society's watchdog.
"Great justice has ensued from sources that had to remain anonymous, but who have offered information about grave misdeeds," John Hughes wrote in the Christian Science Monitor.

First they came for the journalists...


A sad day for Segway-lovers.

A happy day for CBC viewers.

A scary day for bloated, middle-aged Oxy addicts.

A dark day for Tim Horton's stockholders.

A fire and brimstone day for the Roman Catholic Cult.


Ever wonder what happened to Porter Goss' idea of where Osama bin Laden is hiding? LIke me, were you wondering why in the hell the director of the freaking CIA was relying on ideas?

Maybe because of this...

But, by all means, jail a reporter, and the host of a lifestyle show, and a rapper. These are the people who really deserve punishment. Perhaps if you and the world spy agencies weren't such Bush ass-puppets, he'd have been caught by now.


Purple is hot.

Paul Martin is not.

Have a happy Thursday!

Wednesday, July 06, 2005

The Daily Wanker

Hump-Day Already?

You're never too old to play with Lego!

Thongs and boobies are bad! Bulls being slaughtered??? Good times!

Scratch Hong Kong off of the list of "fun places to go without a sex manual"!

M Diddy speaks out!

You haven't seen slash fiction until you've seen this slash fiction!

...In other news, the Big Mac still tastes like crap. Hilfiger? Really? How's about M Diddy? She could do something about the Fillet-O-Fish, while she's at it.

The tavern part, I understand...but did you try saying please first, before the beheading and everything?

Another entry into the "Love that dares not speak its name" category:

Guys--get a room!

A different kind of funky for Cousin Madge.

How much fun is this thing?

Holy crap---a social program in Alberta?!?

How old do you have to be to blog, anyways? They let kids bus tables in Alberta at 12!

Bored yet? Take the Keanu quiz! Sadly, I scored 9 out of 10.

What does a guy have to do to get respect these days?

Damn, girl--keep it down!

Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Don Rickles.

In other news, Robert Novak still roams the earth a free man!

Speaking of pricks...

...and boobs...

What? No wall-to-wall shag? So much for reality, MTV!

Oprah was discriminated against? Damn. Go count your money!

Just try and get her to do homework, though!

Stella needs to find a new groove.

Lordy lordy, look who's...ummm... 70! Well hello, Dalai!

Finally, my hometown feels the preposterous need to study ways to raise money so they won't have to raise tax rates--again!!!--this year. Spare us the costly studies, and the over-paid city officials, and just do your friggin' jobs! Or quit. I'd happily volunteer. You keep corporate rates artificially low, to no avail; while residential rates are obscenely high and force people to live in the boonies. Al this while my 2100 square foot bungalow costs as much in tax a year as my sister's 4000 sq. ft. single in Toronto. How's that for fair?

This has been your seventeen-second rant!

happy humpin', kids!

Tuesday, July 05, 2005

New "Funcentral Feature": The Daily Wanker

Up first, Mr. (or is it Mrs.???) Lorrie Goldstein!

I suck at Photo-Shop. Anyone want to create a graphic for this?

Still, he is unable to find the damned thing on a map!

Ahh, what is a day without a bit of Bush-bashing?
"Are we there yet, Mommy?"
Bush thanks Denmark for Iraq help

"...Bush brought personal thanks to this Scandinavian country for its support on Iraq. Denmark has about 500 troops in southern Iraq."

Damn--you mean all we had to do was send 500 kids over there and Lord and Lady Bunnypantz would come and thank us personally? Still not worth it.

He's moving forward again, don't you know. Why, George just never ever back-peddles.
"He's moving forward now," McClellan said. "He's committed to moving forward in a timely manner." Isn't he always, Scotty? Isn't he always?

In fact, he's moving forward so fast that, like Superman, he apparently wants to go back in time. To do stuff--important stuff--like say, the eradication of social programs and health care (such as it is) and human and civil rights and international law and constitutional amendments.

That's what you spend your political capital on.

Better hurry, Georgie. Time's a tickin'!

Of course, if you were to attack a country reportedly home to terrorists, rich in natural resources and openly hostile to your regime, maybe just maybe they'd have no choice but to keep you on.

I scared myself.

Another thing...

Something else to add to the list of things currently ticking me off--where do these people get off thinking that they will be Karla Homolka's next victims? Talk about egotistical. Maybe-- just maybe-- she's helped to kill all of the people that she ever wanted to kill.

She could be finished.

How much of a threat is she then?

Of course, she's managed to rattle her ex's cage a bit.

I continue to believe that she has served her time, and should be allowed to live freely and unobstructed. But I'm feeling a bit alone on that one, even here in Casa Fun.

CDW: James Stockdale

James Stockdale, Perot Running Mate, Dies

Retired Vice Adm. James Stockdale, a former prisoner of war and Ross Perot's running mate in 1992, has died, the Navy announced Tuesday. He was 81.

The Navy did not provide a cause of death but said he was suffering from Alzheimer's disease. He died at his home in Coronado, Calif.

Remembered for: "Who am I? Why am I here?"

Cheers, man!

The Monkeys Come Down From Their Trees

This is a comment from the previous post, from "Anonymous", (how courageous!!!) taking me to task for daring to have opinions contrary to their own. I'm not certain that they actually read what I wrote--they certainly made no reference to the text of my post. Let us take a closer look, shall we?
You are obviously a product of Trudeau-pian cult programming, indoctrinated to accept revisionist history and politicized nationalistic dogma at face value.
No, I'm actually the product of two people who were not blood relatives. How politicized is a "screeching in" ceremony, anyway? Have you ever been to one?
Unfortunately, you have allowed this very stigma to taint your national identity. You use all the scripted partisan talking points to marginalize, discount and shut down opposing views. Do you really believe that people like us, who in the act of drawing attention to the things that imperil this nation, do so out of hatred, or American wannabe syndrome, or because we are unCanadian, as your talking points contend?
"Scripted talking points"??? I was talking out of my ass, late at night, pissed off because it was too hot to sleep! And is it a stigma or a dogma? You're losing me. How dare I shut down opposing views--on MY BLOG?!? What an ass I am. And yes, I really believe that you are being un-Canadian. No talking points here, just my opinion.

Is it possible that we are taking this nation's anthem literally and actually "standing on guard" against that which would diminish the "true north's strength and freedom"?
Or is it possible that I am doing the same? Or is it that only you and your ilk matter, and screw the rest? Ask yourself where our strength and freedom came from in the first place, Bucky. It wasn't from being the Americans' lapdog.

Is it possible the greatest enemy this nation faces is domestic? … One that claims to be a benefactor and shields itself with shallow nationalist jingoism, while raping and pillaging our Charter, Constitution and Rule of Law?
Yes, it is domestic. As home-grown as eugenics and de-taxers, and seperatists and "loyal" members of the opposition. That's why I'm taking my stand.

Can you understand the anger of patriots that have seen a great nation reduced to debauched politics, degenerated democracy and craven power mongering by a political-corporate cartel?
Umm, yes I can. Maybe that is why the Liberals have held on to power for so long, in response to Mulroney's reign of ego.

Is it beyond your reasoning that many of your fellow Canadians define themselves
by the individual freedom, democracy and fair application of the rule of law we
once enjoyed?
There is very little "beyond" my reasoning. It is my reasoning that elevates my discussion above mere party politics, and into the realm of what Canada really is. I affiliate myself with the NDP, however I am not, nor have I ever been a fire-breathing policy wonk. But dude, it is time to move on. Before you start quoting the Magna Carta to me, explain how C-38 or any other law was not fairly applied.

Is it beyond your reasoning to see this would outrage true patriots? Or have you accepted the partisan poison which displaces your sense of fairness and civil empathy for your fellow Canadians, and replaces it with conditioned reactionary hostility to any dissent to the new political order?
What is beyond my reasoning is how the Government of Canada has become the "Liberal Government". They are not my party, but they are my government. All 308 of them. Together. What is beyond my reasoning is how deeply partisan those on the right have made the last few years. What is beyond my reasoning is how in the hell you can convince yourself that you are a true patriot. So, I am less of a Canadian, because I disagree with you? Because I choose to fly my flag right-side up, I'm poisoned? Christ, and they call us "moonbats". Whatever, man!

Sorry Andy .. but once you know this nation’s history and the workings of its public institutions and its constitution, you will become aware of how disastrously we have had our rights and rule of law undermined by an entrenched oligarchy and jurocracy.
Big words, but you're still full of crap. You happen to be trash-talking someone who is very familiar with the history of our country. I also happen to know a fair bit about its public institutions. Whatever rights you think you may have had undermined probably weren't rights to begin with. Like, the right to automatically have Harper as prime minister. Or the right to dismantle our social infrastructure until it resembles something akin to agrarian bartering. Or the right to place an imaginary God above actual people. Yeah, poor fucking you. Cry me a river.

Seek out the truth and you will be free from the errant partisanism that strangles your patriotism.
You first, jack ass. Sign your name next time. I already said that the love I have for my country rises above mere politics and political parties. Maybe while you're taking advice, you could read what you were commenting on.

Anyone else want to play?

Off my meds...

One cannot say that all conservatives are stupid people, one can say that most stupid people are conservative.--- John Stuart Mill

I'm getting fed up with conservative Canadians likening their "plight" to that of the democrats in the US. It isn't the same thing. Not even close. It is vulgar and myopic to think otherwise.

You who would liken gays being able to marry legally and renewed funding for health-care, with lying to the world for the reasons to go to war, and the deaths of unknown thousands as a result, are at the very least, sore losers.

At the worst, they are either trivializing the capital crimes of George Bush, or demonizing the otherwise benign agenda of Paul Martin by placing the two on the same level playing field.

Your guys haven't been able to win enough seats in the house to carry an election in 12 years. Has there been any charges of voter fraud? Then, shut the hell up.

Where in the BNA or Charter does it say that Stephen Harper's approval is required before legislation is "legitimate"? Nowhere? Then shut the hell up!

Did Martin vow to dig up Algonquin or Banff Parks for oil? Zip it.

We had a good thing going on in this country, for the longest time. No one was ever completely happy with the federal government, but it was always our government. It was certainly not the American government. That was usually enough to get by on. We didn't send our youth over to Vietnam (no matter what Ann Coulter says!), nor did we shoot them dead on campus. We endeavored to be the solution to our own energy woes, instead of relying on others. We led the way to championing the rights of the oppressed, when they could not.

A man with one leg, and an ex-hockey player who knew something about good coffee, united us for decades.

That is what Canada is to me, and so much more. It is riding over the bumps on the Gardiner Expressway. The majestic view in Vancouver harbour. The lighthouses of Prince Edward Island, and being able to visit each one of them in one day. Fireworks on Parliament Hill. Getting "screeched" in. Speeding east down the 20, ahead of a thunderstorm coming up the St. Lawrence River.

All of these things are immortal to me. They do not lessen with time, nor are they diminished by whatever party is in control of the House of Commons.

Those who would fly our flag upside down during our country's birthday do not love the same country that I do. At least, they do not love it the same way. The same-sex marriage issue has cleaved a deep wound in our country, and for all of the wrong reasons. It was never about the winning, folks. It was about correcting an injustice. It was not about doing harm to religion, but it is about spirituality. There are so many ways that this law reaffirms my belief in Canada, that it is difficult to write them all down.

It isn't about you. Don't you see that? It isn't about me either. But how we, as a country, treat others (prepare for the Golden Rule, folks!!!) in their time of need is hopefully how I will be treated in mine. That is why I care. That is why I supported it.

That is why I still get a flush of school-boy wonder every time I see our flag fly high.

Happy Canada Day, to everyone. Again.

Good things are worth doing twice.

Setting the record straight

I just wanted everyone to know that I'm a fully-employed loser.

But I am mad-jealous of this guy's cool set-up!

Could you imagine?

Monday, July 04, 2005

Monday Morning Round-Up - Independence Day Style

I'm feeling kinda psyched--just got a score of 10 out of 11 on the US state capital quiz. Check it out.

I hope that all of my southern neighbours have as great a time as I did on Friday. Good food, family and friends, and fireworks--who can beat that?

While you're all celebrating independence from England, ask yourselves if you need to declare independence from Bush.

Live 8--we'll see about the impact that it had on policy. As for the music. I really didn't get a chance to see a whole lot of it--unlike 1985. The hyped reunion of Pink Floyd became a non-issue for me when they didn't haul Syd and the flying Pig out of retirement. Maybe for the 20th anniversary of the Berlin Wall crumbling, in 2009?

How groovy is it to be Roger Federer right now?

Enjoy the rush, man!

Project Truth aims high.

So much for Gramma's cross-border shopping trips.

If it's early July, it must mean the return of Big Brother! The only reality show that me and SB watch together--happy bonding dance!!!
34 years later--say hi to Elvis and Andy, man!

Heritage Foundation VP charged in "traffic convergence"; also commonly referred to as assault and battery. To be fair, he tried to say that he was...you know...sorry about hurling the 105-pound ballet dancer to the ground. Bygones, people!

More reasons to clear out your cache memory on a regular basis!

"I want my Gay-TV!" And now, the fear-mongering: "There will be, for example, scenes of men kissing men and women kissing women, even if it's not sexually explicit." Have you ever watched Friends, man? Joey and Chandler and Ross were at each other all the time!

A random sampling of some Canadian bloggers shows an apparent (and laughable, kinda) poutiness rampant in the conservative camp. Thanks to the folks at POGGE for the round-up. For showing us how quickly and deeply the traditional "God and Country" types abandon the latter for the former, when push comes to shove.

Go visit Damien at Couch Warfare --he's got a great pic of a potential SCOTUS nom. The mind reels at the potential Burns-Scalia "I'm the most evil"-"No, I'm the most evil" debates.

The skinny on L. Ron, future owner of the once-desirable, now pitiable, Katie Holmes.

Brooke versus the insecure/overly litigious, history-of-psychology knowing, NOT GAY-- DAMN IT!!!, couldn't-act-his-way-outta-wet suit Tommy-bot.

And finally, when little Karl Rover finally gets his sorry, soon-to-be-pillaged ass dragged out of the White House, Robert over at My Blahg has a list of replacements all ready to cause more mirth and mayhem.

Sunday, July 03, 2005


Just got back from seeing my family, shopping, BBQ-ing--all that jazz. Had an opportunity to see my page on someone else's screen, and didn''t really like what I saw, soooooooooooooooo...
I'll be cleaning a few things up over the next few days. Maybe, I'll get rid of the God-foresaken poll at the side.

Favorite moment of the weekend has to be spending some quality time with my 9-year old nephew in A&W, debating the virtues of root beer versus cola. He cracks me up, every single time.

Cheers, Z! See you in two, for our Fantastic Four date!

"It wasn't Karl!" Translation--"It was Karl--so what?"

From the Chi-Trib: more wordy subterfuge.
Rove is identified in Cooper's notes from that time period, which Time turned over Friday to special prosecutor Patrick Fitzgerald, under court order. Fitzgerald is investigating whether senior administration officials leaked CIA operative Valerie Plame's name to reporters as retaliation after her husband, former Ambassador Joseph Wilson, publicly accused the Bush administration of twisting intelligence to justify a war with Iraq.
If it turns out to be Rover's assistant, or cousin, or hairdresser, isn't really safe to say that the leak was Karl?

Does anyone believe any of the crap coming out of the White House anymore?

CDW: Earth Day founder, Gaylord Nelson

Thanks for trying!
from CNN:
A conservationist years before it became fashionable, Nelson was recognized as
one of the world's foremost environmental leaders. Then-President Clinton presented Nelson with a Presidential Medal of Freedom in 1995 for his environmental efforts.

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