Saturday, June 25, 2005
Is Paul Martin really deserving of the "Hannibal Lecter" tag? In all fairness, no.
Is Guantanamo a "gulag"? Yes.
When it comes to dropping the N-bomb, the American political mainstream is lately resembling the London skies from 1940. I fear that everyone seems to be missing the mark. Look harder, people.
Who is the real enemy?
Check it out!
Doesn't have two faces...
(Disclaimer : no cats were harmed during the posting of this installment)
#9 in the series.
Conservative humour yes, but I like it too!
My Canada includes Photo-Shop aficionados.
However, in today's Toronto Sun column, he actually makes a decent case for Live 8.
The commentary went something like this: “All they do in Africa is have babies all the time. They have corrupt leaders and squander the money we give them.”Of course, he doesn't miss any opportunity to take political slags at Martin. Much of his column ends up sounding like white guilt. He stops short, admittedly, of proposing this time as an excellent opportunity to renew efforts to convert the suffering Africans to Christianity.
Crass and ugly as this was, it differed only in tone from what various conservative pundits have been saying and writing since the eight concerts, including the Canadian one in Barrie, north of Toronto, were announced.
The skeptic in me still lingers.
Friday, June 24, 2005
Photo Caption Contest, #5
On your mark.
Honestly, Dick Durbin, don't you feel utterly stupid for apologizing now?
Moving on, Stephen Harper is inconsolable after the budget passes.
Steve-O, I like my steak medium rare, please! Seriously Steve-O, this is how a minority government is supposed to work, with deals and negotiating. Don't take it so hard. Your day will come. There's always Canadian Idol. More on Harpo at Inkless Wells. Take it, Paul!
If this is the punishment served up for playing Stompin' Tom for three hours, what does someone get for playing Celine Dion for the last 15 years? Fair is fair, people!
Don't know how I feel about the private property seizure ruling. I normally disagree with Scalia by nature.
I do know this--while Osama's still free, the cost of the war rises a billion dollars per week, world debt piles up at a staggering rate, and people still starve to death, the least of America's problems is burning flags.
Or porn. Seriously, WTF people?
"Karl Rove gives us a bad name!"
In other news, crocs just can't seem to catch a break.
Even as the Bush administration is in full denial (and Rome burns), Damien's got some more DSM linkage. Seriously, join the Alliance. All of the cool kids are doing it.
Whale burgers, anyone? Star Trek IV, people! (Thanks, sweet baby!!!)
You'll probably need a really big Snapple to wash that puppy down.
If you ever think that God hates you, at least you aren't this guy.
For the guys in the audience, I give you this:
|Your Penis Name is: Captain Kirk|
For the ladies:
|Your Boobies' Names Are: Bambi and Thumper|
Have a groovy weekend, kiddies! Me, the Captain, and Bambi and Thumper will see ya'll on the other side of Monday!
Thursday, June 23, 2005
Karl Rove, Big Piece of Fecal Matter
From Crooks and Liars, comes this piece of poop from Rover.
"Rove Lied: A Trip Down Memory Lane
If you don't understand why Karl Rove's remarks are pissing off Democrats, let's look at some more of the remarks: Just a quick trip down the memory hole brings up the September 14th Congressional Resolution, which states:To authorize the use of United States armed forces against those responsible for the recent attacks launched against the United States. Whereas, on Sept. 11, 2001, acts of despicable violence were committed against the United States and its citizens...read on
It passed the House 420-1 and passed the Senate 98-0, with nary a mention of indictments, therapy, or calls for understanding."
So, what's the White House to do, but strum out a stirring rendition of "Stand By Your Man".
Q He said the Democrats wanted to prepare indictments and offer therapy and understanding for our attackers. That's not injecting politics into the tragedy of September 11th?That's funny, Scott. Cuz it felt kinda like he was being a divider, not a uniter. Like he was playing fast and furious with not just the rhetoric, but the MOTHERFUCKING TRUTH, too!
MR. McCLELLAN: I think it's talking about the different philosophies for winning the war on terrorism. The President recognizes that the way to win the war on terrorism is to take the fight to the enemy, to stay on the offensive, and to work to spread freedom and democracy to defend the ideology of hatred that they espouse, and the ideology of tyranny and oppression.
Q So will the President ask Karl Rove to apologize?
MR. McCLELLAN: Of course not, Jessica. This is simply talking about different
philosophies and different approaches. And I think you have to look at it in that context. If people want to try to engage in personal attacks instead of defending their philosophy, that's their business. But it's important to point out the different approaches when it comes to winning the war on terrorism. And that's all he was doing.
Separated at birth?
Wednesday, June 22, 2005
Where's Choda Boy when you need him?
Even Mr. Potato Head is geting in on the action!
Looks as though it is going to be a long, same-sex kinda summer! Promises, promises Paulie!
Feeling lonely? Give yourself a hand(job).
You gotta love a man in uniform!
Not wanting to turn this thing into the Shopping Channel, but check out the Vagina Lady!
Romanian strippers--hot, and legal in Canada--kinda.
Do you miss your "loud" college roommates? Here's the cure!
In other news: Rick Mercer blogs, too!
40 years after everyone else did it, Georgie's finally going to Vietnam.
GQ lowers standards; talks with swarthy ex-leader or Iraq. Special Saddam "Queer Eye" to follow.
George says progress is being made in Iraq; also--progress is being made on his performance polling numbers. NOT!!!
My old hometown gets Canadian Live 8 show. Unfortunately, Tom Green goes with it.
I've been feeling kinda crappy the last few weeks. I'm hoping that it is just temporary, what with our dog dying, and other things. While I work a few things out, I might lay low from the blogging for a while. Thanks to all of those who've made the last few weeks bearable.
See you soon!
Tuesday, June 21, 2005
From Illuminati News:
MARIJUANA is DANGEROUS. Pot is NOT harmful to the human body or mind. Marijuana does NOT pose a threat to the general public. Marijuana is very much a danger to the oil companies, alcohol, tobacco industries and a large number of chemical corporations. Various big businesses, with plenty of dollars and influence, have suppressed the truth from the people.
Stop fearing the Hemp, people.
Don't "Bogart" this post--pass it around.
Wanting to stem the flow of MP's, the CPC strikes back in a truly Canadian way--tabling legislation. Why would anyone want to challenge the leadership when everything is going so smoothly?
Bush and Blair broke international law??? Shut Up! Did anyone know about it back when the war began? Hmmm...?
More progress made in the fight against Alzheimer's.
Heather Mallick thinks that debt relief is bad.
Did I ever mention that Lawrence Ferlinghetti is one cool Mo-Fo?
Let me get this straight--it is perfectly fine for the US not to pay their United Nations dues until it becomes a puppet organization, but people aren't afforded the same option if they don't dig their own country's policies? Suck it up, you bunch of Congressional crybabies! And pay! You kinda helped found the damned organization!
Argh!!! Three more months (at least) to wait...and then they'll just be killing people off!
I AM (also) CANADIAN has a nifty solution to two PR nightmares--Neverland Ranch becomes Gitmo West. I like it!
Today is World Refugee Day.
Stephen Harper thinks that he's perfect just the way he is. As leader of the opposition, Steve-O?
Rigas takes one for the team--big time. Ken Lay had no comment, as he was counting his billions hidden in the Caymans.
If these couldn't make people quit, what will?
The sins of the father, and all. Funcentral sez, "Good luck, kid!"
Hah! Ottawa is the cheapest place in North America to live. I don't know how the rest of you poor bastards do it!
PostSecret just keeps getting better. Go there some time when you have a few hours to spare. And maybe tissue, too...
"First rule of Fight Club..." ugh! Sorry for that visual, folks!
How's this, instead?
Scary times in Ottawa yesterday--was IKEA a target? Relax, the Shitizen staff are all over it. Sigh. whew.
Moose and beavers and deer, oh my--my neighbourhood's a frickin' zoo!
Ronald McDonald vs. "The Gay Plague"--just one more damn reason never to eat there again--aside from the crappy food.
Last but not least, let the Joan Crawford comparisons start now! But that ain't all folks--she wants us to see her naked again, too! Sharon--you're like sooooooooo 1992.
Monday, June 20, 2005
The latest bit happened while Rice was in Egypt.
- ...it is going to be essential that those elections be free and fair, that there be an opportunity for the opposition to have access to media, that there is a sense of competitiveness in the elections."
- ...America "is speaking to a set of core values and principles that the United States holds, but that we believe are universal principles ... the human dignity that comes from democratic values."
- "Americans understand that democracy is a process, and it's difficult, but we're going to continue to speak up for these principles, and it's not a matter of judgment."
- But democracy, she said, "does not guarantee people will not do bad things. Sometimes people will do bad things. What democracy guarantees is that they will be openly and transparently debated" and wrongdoers are held accountable.
- "It is time to abandon the excuses that are made to avoid the hard work of democracy."
Venezuela gave the US a big old Bronx cheer the last time the US tried this on them. I can't expect any less from Mubarek. I can't tell--he always has that "you and what army" look on his face.
Now that the flood has come, is Noah very far behind?
While Steve-O is off BBQ-ing with people who won't vote for him, Alberta is flooding.
Good times, good times.
Unless there's no summer break for a while. That would be a real kick in the short pants.
A Jolie Good Time
Can Angelina really be a bad lay? Do British royals really use pick-up lines? Find out in Radar’s gossip challenge!
by Julie Bloom, Jed Heyman & Paula Lehman
1. To what did Billy Bob Thornton obliquely compare sex with ex Angelina Jolie in July’s Esquire?
A. Being mounted by a crazed orangutan.
B. Pushing a rock up a hill…for eternity.
C. Making love to a couch.
D. Having teeth pulled, only without the fun drugs.
2. What job did Will Farrell do to make ends meet before becoming a successful comedian?
A. He toiled as a carpenter in the backwoods of Appalachia.
B. He was an arithmetically challenged bank teller.
C. He traveled around with his friends in a brightly painted van solving mysteries.
D. He was the most obnoxious “secret shopper” for a small East Coast sporting goods chain.
3. Pick the shrinking celebrity who weighs less:
A. Michael Jackson
B. Lindsay Lohan
4. Wiccans in Salem, Massachusetts, are upset about the soon-to-be-released flick Bewitched for which of the following reasons?
A. The TV Land cable network is planning to erect a nine-foot bronze statue of Samantha Stephens in the middle of town.
B. During the three months Nicole Kidman spent in town researching her role, she was frequently rude to the staff of the local Starbucks.
C. They thought Shannon Doherty would have been better for the part.
D. They’re Wiccans, so they’ve obviously got problems to begin with.
E. Kidman doesn’t twitch her nose correctly, according to ancient Wiccan tradition.
5. What was Prince William’s reported pickup line when he first set eyes on his college crush, sexy Tennessean Anna Sloan, at St. Andrews?
A. “You know what they say about guys whose dads have big ears, right?”
B. “Wanna see the ‘crown jewels’?”
C. “Hi. I’m the future king. Do you want to make out?”
D. “You remind me of a championship bass—I don’t know whether to mount you or eat you!”
6. Convicted serial killer David Berkowitz, a.k.a. Son of Sam, is suing his former lawyer over supposedly stolen possessions. Which of the following does Berkowitz not claim he’s missing?
A. His bar mitzvah photos.
B. Tape-recordings of the barking of the dog who told him to kill.
C. His will.
D. Letters from the mother of one of his victims.
7. Which of the following is the Globe willing to do to get an exclusive photo of Brad and Angelina together?
A. Sign confidentiality agreements that ban the tabloid from mentioning anything about their personal lives or their loud, animalistic sex.
B. Tell Angelina that, on second thought, Tomb Raider 2 wasn’t so bad.
C. Donate $10,000 to Save the Children.
D. Drown a burlap sack full of kittens.
8. According to People magazine, why did Lindsay Lohan bar Jessica and Ashlee Simpson from her MTV Movie Awards party?
A. She was afraid Ashlee might frighten her guests with a spontaneous jig.
B. Jessica was wearing the same dress Lohan was wearing…and looked better in it.
C. Ashlee totally made out with Lindsay’s ex-boyfriend the previous week.
D. Lohan was concerned about jackass cooties.
9. Which celebrity’s mom once made the following statement about her daughter: “I wish she was gay”?
A. Britney Spears
B. Pamela Anderson
C. Katie Holmes
D. Paris Hilton
E. Anne Heche
10. In the upcoming book 4 Inches, a slew of gorgeous VIPs pose for the camera wearing nothing but Jimmy Choos (with their naughty bits strategically obscured) to benefit the Elton John AIDS Foundation. For her portrait in the book, what does Paris Hilton use to cover up her own “Jimmy Choo”?
A. A Polaroid of Nicole Richie’s face
B. A fresh, crisp $100 bill
C. A camcorder, pointed at the reader
Answers: 1) C; 2) B; 3) A; 4) A; 5) C; 6) A; 7) C; 8) C; 9) B; 10) D
I'm hopelessly addicted to gossip. Somebody help me--start a foundation for a cure!
Wal-Mart Hires Scalia's Son to Hush Whistleblower Cases
Today, the Arkansas Democrat Gazette reports that another former Wal-Mart employee will file a federal complaint against the company, alleging violations of whistleblower protections.
New rule requires Wal-Mart workers to work any shift or be fired
Wal-Mart officials in Cross Lanes told employees on Tuesday they have to start working practically any shift, any day they're asked, even if they've built up years of seniority and can't arrange child care.
Wal-Mart Aggressively Lobbies Congress To Outsource US Jobs
Wal-Mart's high-priced lobbying team has been strongly urging Capitol Hill to vote in favour of CAFTA.
Don't Even Think About It!!!
heh-heh. I'm bored.
The sound you hear is political capital evaporating.
I betcha he'll pin it on the Dems...oh wait a sec--he already did.
Must be time for another war, then.
Tom Cruise takes it in the face. (Don't be hatin'!)
Love means never having to say sorry for calling you a "fat ugly troll". Kids these days, with their new ways of saying things. I still don't get "shizzle".
Love also means not putting up with a snoring spouse. Take that! (Put the pen down, honey.)
The US Constitution, trooper that it is, takes another one up the back passage, courtesy of Congress. Is anyone able to stop this? Pretty please?
Still rocks out like no one's bidness!
Good thing these guys aren't Republicans--they'd be blaming the cardholders for using the damn cards in the first place!
Kingston hospital bans perfumes--crappy food and under-paid nurses still okay.
From Section 15, news that Ontario will take corn from anyone, to make ethanol. We ain't fussy!
No one told me that there were Blogging rules!
Got tickets for T.O.!!! Thanks, Sister!
Damien from Couch Warfare is a righteous dude. Please pay him a visit, and tell him I sent ya.
Mike from Rational Reasons is pretty cool too--and from Ottawa, no less. Great article on single-payer health care--check it out!
Remember when Madonna sang?
No one told me that the "Smash A Bottle On Leonardo's Head" club was meeting in LA.
More support for the troops from the Christ-nuts.
When did the "I" in CIA change to "idea"?
Kitties with two faces, puppies with two penises. End times, people?
And finally, don't even try to fake it with a brain scan--okay?
Well, at least the rule about not posting the "Which ________ character are you?" links.
I like 'em. My blog, my rules.
Have fun, let me know your results. Thanks to Mark from Section 15, (via Daveberta) for the link.
Sunday, June 19, 2005
"We went to war because we were attacked, and we are at war today because there are still people out there who want to harm our country and hurt our citizens," he said.I'm lost. I'll try to break it down.
He's referring to Iraq in his address, and defending the "war". Now, the US wasn't attacked by Iraq, EVER. So, my guess is that he means 9/11.
Iraq didn't do this:
Stop blaming Iraq for it.
The "still people out there" thing makes it sound less like they invaded Iraq for the reasons they said they did (quelle surprise!!!) , and that they stay they to show other Axis of Evil members what they can do to them. Except, the "war" was "won" over two years ago, and you're still getting your ass kicked by local insurgents.
What message do you think that sends? Is that why Kim Il Jong isn't afraid of you?
Hey! Stop the press! Go back to the "Addresses the Nation" link for a second--doesn't he say that the decision to go to "war" was come to reluctantly?
Our nation enters this conflict reluctantly -- yet, our purpose is sure. The people of the United States and our friends and allies will not live at the mercy of an outlaw regime that threatens the peace with weapons of mass murder. We will meet that threat now, with our Army, Air Force, Navy, Coast Guard and Marines, so that we do not have to meet it later with armies of fire fighters and police and doctors on the streets of our cities.Now I see why the Downing Street Memo is so damning.