Saturday, May 28, 2005
probably just a coincidence...
As someone who is preparing to have a few gents over for BBQ and poker, I can only hope that my burgers are as tasty as Carl Jr.'s. I am waiting for the day that Paris Hilton s deemed to be just too obscene for the planet, and asked to leave. Watch the clip from CNN and tell me--does Brent Bozell resemble anything more than an Amish elder? In case you're curious as to what exactly has gotten up Brent's skirt this time, here's a link to the actual ad. You know, if Bush really thought about it for a moment, the fastest way to get widespread support for Social Security reforms is to shoot an ad with Paris and Nicole. ("Personalized Accounts?? They're Hot!" "Yeah.")
Years after Mike Harris quit political life as Ontario's premier, the ugliest calamities of his rule -the Ipperwash massacre and the e coli outbreak in Walkerton--are still wreaking havoc on the survivors. Frankly, I want him to come back to politics, just to leave, so that the door has another opportunity to hit him in the ass.
Rabble.com columnist Scott Piakowski calls Stephen Harper on his overtly hypocritical treatment towards Belinda Stronach's floor-crossing party change 2 weeks ago. Thanks Scott--good on you for putting into words what so many of us have been saying in the lunchrooms and living rooms of Canada since it happened.
2 hours and counting until the first (of many, hopefully!) Funcentral Poker Night. I just know that I'm going to do poorly. I hope that the card-gods are kind. I have my seat in the Loser Lounge already reserved.
I hope that the night is kinder to you...
funcentral and the Gay Marriage Debate
I'm not gay, and I'm already married--so what do I have to gain with my support for this cause?
Don't I feel threatened by "them"?
The answers are very simple, frankly. I remember a time--maybe eleven years ago--when I didn't care one way or the other about gay rights. But I was living with a gay friend of mine at the time, and it was very important to him. Thinking about him and his interests prompted me to think about the issue further.
What I came up with was this, and it has remained my position on this issue ever since: No one group in society (gender, race, religion, orientation or affluence) should ever be in a position to grant another group any rights. Because, if that point is true, than it is also likely that the group in power is able to take those rights away. Rights sought by gays and lesbians are not considered to be based on privilege. Therefore, they don't have to earn them, just like women didn't have to earn the right to vote.
I wasn't the first person in history to come to this conclusion. English philosopher John Locke surely made it sound far more eloquent. Thomas Jefferson also chimed in with something called the Declaration of Independence. In case you are in need of a refresher:
When so much of our society's laws and beliefs are founded and reliant upon one way of thinking--the equality of all mankind--we can never afford to slip away from that foundation for a moment. To do so would cause society itself to crumble.
Please note that, at no time, did I ever mention the Bible.
It simply has no place in rational discussion.
Anyway, as I stated, this opinion of mine is eleven years old. But I also remember saying to my friend at the time that--while I maintain that it is wrong to withhold or mete out rights to select groups--things in society change very slowly. Women did not receive the right to vote until after decades of struggle. Apartheid in South Africa ended only after three decades of protest. If gays and lesbians were ever to have equal recognition in society and under the law, it would take time.
After eleven years, and with Ellen and Rosie coming out, and the Fab Five and Will & Grace and Queer As Folk, and 9/11 showing us again how short life really is, I think that it is time now. Time to change, and time to accept.
Change will not bring chaos. Change will not harm the children. Change will not harm my marriage.
It is not the "gateway" lifestyle that some believe it to be...it is merely correcting something that should have been rectified long ago.
Bush's new Canadian puppet
"First, you put the lime in the coconut, and drink 'em both together..."
Allow me to introduce you to the just-confirmed, brand-spanking-new US Ambassador to Canada, Mr. David Horton Wilkins. No real shocks in his bio--he's pretty much a party flunky, serving as South Carolina's re-elect Dick 'n' Dicker 2004 campaign. This keeps in line with most of Bush's appointments--reward those who helped you.
Interesting note in Wilkins' bio though--and perhaps something that the Canadian media may want to ask him about when he arrives--but Davey's only been to Canada once--thirty years ago!!!
I ask again, was Pat Buchanan unavailable for the assignment, or merely uninterested?
Choosing someone else from this list of pant-loads would have at least made diplomatic relations between our two nations interesting. I'm thinking specifically of Rush--does he know about our health care plan and top-quality pharmaceuticals? And dude...BC Bud?...fan-frickin'-tastic!
Friday, May 27, 2005
Can you just leave the fake pricks alone, and bring the real ones to justice?
I didn't intend for this post to be entirely phallic in theme and content, but here's another dick causing trouble...
...and another! You Americans...taking advantage of a sweet, innocent Canadian girl...for shame!
With all of this wanker-talk, you're probably hungry now for some Bush, no? Better uses of Georgie's investigative skills include finding Osama, the person who leaked Valerie Plame's identity to Novak, or maybe even JonBenet Ramsey's and Nicole Simpson's killers...to complete the list of mysteries that will never be solved.
In closing...these are guaranteed to leave a good taste in your mouth or hers...or wherever...now, there's no excuse lads!
poker night at funcentral tomorrow
There's still room at the table, in case anyone changes their mind.
thinskinitis claims another Republican!
Now, poor Tom Delay is struck down by this horrible killer! Sadly, the only known cure for thinskinitis is to actually grow more vertabrae.
For Frist's sake, a TV show mention is the least of your problems!
how many Ann Coulter slags can you fit in one post, anyway?
Buy one tour of duty, get another for free!
"Vacationers on the Indian Ocean islands tend to smile dismissively at accounts in guidebooks of the bat-like ogre said to prey on men, women and children." Ann Coulter? Nancy Grace? Kevin Federline? No...just a sex-mad demon...oh wait...maybe...!
The off-chance that an image of condoms and an image of Bush would appear on the same page? Just be glad that I didn't have the heart or stomach to go looking for Coulter or Grace--or for that matter K-Fed--pictures.
Those would've been scarier than the spider bite pics from yesterday.
I had to end the day on a non-political note--too much conservative-bashing is bad for the soul.
Be good to each other, and to yourselves always.
not exactly "hot off the press"
Tell me how--with party majority in both houses--he still has to threaten them and coerce them into passing his gawdawful SS plans? I give Karl Rove exactly 30 days of job security, and then the Boy King will grease his sorry ass. (I sincerely apologize for the mental images which that last sentence may have sprung upon you.)
In other news, it finally seems to be that the wheels have come off the great Terror Round-'Em-Up wagon, and the gate-keepers may actually have to one day answer for their human rights violations. Of course, prior to being selected president, Boosh wasn't the most traveled of souls, so the notion that he may one day be arrested on the beach in Cancun seems mighty far-fetched.
"Yes, 'n' how many deaths will it take till he knows
That too many people have died
The answer, my friend, is blowin' in the wind,
The answer is blowin' in the wind."
From the Iraq Coalition Casuality Count site, comes the grim and cold numbers. On top of the 1800+ reported there, please add the following additional 2100. Democratic Underground has a great column on Bush-era military woes (surely attributable to Clinton, as are so many other things) and the state of disrepair that the armed services are in. Way to set a legacy, George.
Golly, I even remember when you chided the Clinton-Gore administration ("Our military is low on parts, pay and morale. If called on by the commander-in-chief today, two entire divisions of the Army would have to report, "Not ready for duty, sir." This administration had its moment, they had their chance, they have not led. We will. ") on its ability to handle the military, and it kinda sounded like you were going to do a better job of it...or was I reading too much into that statement?
As my brother-in-law is so very fond of saying, payback is a bitch!
George--in all seriousness--each one of those coffins coming back from Iraq carries broken dreams and broken hearts inside of it. Whatever you think you may be achieving with this cataclysmic exercise in machismo, it is simply not worth the cost.
On the eve of your Memorial Day weekend, please consider that possibility.
It is what Christ would do. I'm certain of that.
Thursday, May 26, 2005
why don't we just turn it into a drinking game?
Welcome to the N-bomb league...Mr. Donald Rumsfeld!
If I hadn't seen it on my own blog...
TV station admits bias in report on school
26 (UPI) --
Japanese public broadcaster NHK has apologized to
an Osaka high school over a feature program that exaggerated a decline in moral standards
among its students.
My favourite quote, though: "...those in charge had preconceptions ..."
Damn. Don't you hate when that happens? To their credit, at least it the bias was admitted.
"Guess who's back...back again...Gumby's back...tell a friend..."
Just for shits and giggles, I conducted an experiment. I wanted to see whether or not FOX News posted transcripts of its shows online. The result: Yes, with an asterisk. My question now is this--how much "editing for clarity" was required to make Bill O'Reilly sound less like a rabid squirrel? Note down at the bottom of the excerpt, Bill's back to not being wrong again. I was worried for a minute.
As for this headline--I was still in the neighbourhood--relax, it's not another Terry Schiavo story. Interesting bit, though--Bill didn't ask about Tom Delay's interest in the TS case, or for that matter--Congress, or the President's--but when Jesse Jackson takes interest in the plight of a five year-old girl being brutalized by police. Yeah...no...I see why his getting involved might be uncalled for, Bill. You ass!
O homem da aranha, homem da aranha, faz o que quer que uma aranha pode." The article's in Portuguese, so I translated the lyrics to the "Spider-man" song, too! I "heart" Babelfish! (warning for the squeemish--it gets pretty gruesome further down!)
So, Democrats have no class, eh Tom Delay? So, swearing, lying, self-agrandizing, mocking, adultery, announcing the intent to divorce via e-mail, manipulating the law to benefit those in favour -- these are all classy things, Tom?
"Did Bo win?"
The season finales for both Lost and Alias kicked it up a notch (I vow never to use that phrase again, after this!) by placing their respective stars in maximum jeopardy.
"For starters, my name isn't Michael Vaughn..."
I'm too tired and strung out to come up with theories. I'm just happy that the season is over.
No, really...I am.
Now, maybe I can start my evening walking regimen again.
If boredom ever sets in, there is still the non-stop comedy that is US politics to keep me amused.
Wednesday, May 25, 2005
An apology to Newsweek will be forthcoming shortly, no doubt
FBI Records Cite Quran Abuse Allegations
By ROBERT BURNS, AP Military Writer
WASHINGTON- "Their behavior is bad," one detainee is quoted as saying of his guards during an interrogation by an FBI special agent in July 2002. "About five months ago the guards beat the detainees. They flushed a Quran in the toilet."
The statements about guards disrespecting the Quran echo public allegations made many months later by some detainees and their lawyers after prisoners' release from Guantanamo Bay in Cuba. The once-secret FBI documents show a consistency to the allegations and are the first indication that Justice and Defense department officials were aware in early 2002 that detainees were accusing their guards of mistreating the holy book.
One told an interrogator in March 2003 that guards had repeatedly mishandled the Quran. This detainee asked why the United States, as a supporter of freedom of religion, was using the Muslim holy book as a weapon.
Still another said in October 2002 that he and other detainees had been "beaten, spit upon and treated worse than a dog."
"Hey everyone! Look over here! A celebrity is pregnant! "
For some light reading, here is the Amnesty International Report for 2005. Canada has nothing to be proud of in this one, except perhaps that the length of our entry is about a quarter of the USA's. Talk about your distinct societies.
Celebrity Death Watch (CDW, from now on): Ismail Merchant
And finally, which is indecent?
Does it pass the "depends if it's Clinton or not" test?
Well, you know something Sugar-tits-- Bill Clinton probably thought the same thing! And he never once campaigned for anti-fellatio laws. So far as I know, he was always supportive of them.
It is the hypocrisy (okay, maybe I am saying that they are) that so annoys me. So long as it was consensual, you can--wait a minute--didn't the article say something about man-boy action, too? Does that still qualify for poor judgment? Because if it does, someone should maybe tell Michael Jackson's legal team.
the best part of yesterday...
I love the way that her eyes light up when I say something funny. I love the way she can never finish whatever she orders when we hit a DQ.
In this mixed up, often-times violent and angry world, she is my everything. I just thought that had to be typed out.
It may seem like a waste of bandwidth to some, but not to me.
Their website has many valuable (and value-full!!!) resources.
To make the transition into traditional value territory easy on a sinner, they define what traditional values are.
They tell...er, suggest...what you should concern yourself with.
They even provide assistance and counselling for those gay and/or transgendered individuals, so that they may lead a more traditional-valued lifestyle. Remember, sodomy is okay--when it occurs between a husband and his wife. The other way around --of course-- is called pegging.
That all sounded sort of sweet, almost benign. Certainly, it was well-intentioned. Then I had to go and ruin it all, with my liberal-based snooping. I glanced further down the Home page, to find their "Battle Plan". Faster than you could say, "Holy Onward Christian soldiers, Batman!", I was in the belly of the beast.
Any guesses as to how many sentences it took before liberals were smeared?
Did you guess "one"?
"For 40 years, the anti-God Left has been using America’s courts to impose an anti-religion, anti-family agenda on America -– an extremist agenda that politicians (even most liberals) would never dare vote for.
Tuesday, May 24, 2005
we are not alone in this fight
Since I've been blogging, though, I've felt connected to like-minded folk.
Don't get me wrong. I love my wife, and she loves me. Its just that sometimes I'm a bit too out there, even for her.
Not so, with my electronic brothers and sisters.
I just joined the Progressive Blog Alliance. If this sounds like your kind of thing, I encourage you to join also.
Tell 'em Andy sent you!
Like a fox on the run
(the question is regarding the US relationship with the recently conquered...er, democratized nation of Afghanistan)
Q So when you talk about a partnership, is it fair to say that the United States is the senior partner, and Afghanistan is the junior partner?
MR. McCLELLAN: No, it's a partnership. A partnership, by nature, is equal.
Q That being the case, and the matters regarding the sovereign territory of Afghanistan, would not Afghanistan have an equal opportunity to say, we want certain things, therefore we should get them?
MR. McCLELLAN: Well, it is a sovereign country, and they are a duly-elected government that represents the people of Afghanistan. We are there at their invitation. But we have a very good relationship, as you heard from the two leaders. This is a strong partnership, and we want to move forward together to address the challenges that are ahead of us. And that's exactly what we'll continue to do with President Karzai and other leaders from Afghanistan.
Q But when the President of Afghanistan says, we want more involvement in the decisions that are made militarily, and the United States says, we'll see, is that an equal partnership?
MR. McCLELLAN: We'll continue to cooperate and consult closely with Afghanistan. That's what the President made very clear. These are arrangements that are worked out with the host government. I would refer you right back to the joint declaration that Terry cited at the beginning of this briefing for the language in there. I think that that addresses your question.
("...and even if it didn't, well...suck it--that's all you're getting out of me!")
True Scott, by nature a partnership is equal.
Most partnerships, however, aren't between a nuclear super-power and a third world country decimated by decades of war and famine. As for being there at their invitation, well...who's going to slam the door in your faces? Everyone has seen what you did so far.
I really enjoy when Scott seems to squirm from the questions. Further down in the text, Scooter totally avoids answering a question about Howard Dean, and then ignores the Rush-on-Hillbilly Heroin comment.
Poor little Bambi...
Longtime viewer, first-time writer here.
Hi there--just a small request for next season, and then I'll leave you be.
Jack Bauer--next year?--he could come back, or not--at this point, I'm indifferent to him. He's had a good run, he walked off into the sunrise a free man.
But for all that is good and glorious, please make certain that Mandy comes back next year. She totally rocked every scene that she appeared in. I'm pretty certain that she would be the one woman Chloe would actually defer to.
Oh, and she's just a little bit on the muy caliente side.
i'm a one-blog man again
top film lists we could do without
Well, Time Magazine felt that enough time had passed since the last one, and they've come out with a new one. They don't bother ranking the movies though. Naming them is enough. I'll only debate the content for a moment--Finding Nemo is better than The Seventh Seal?
Good for you, guys. This and a few more puff pieces like the one you ran on Ann Coulter will keep you outside of Karl Rove's sight lines for a while.
Why did Time choose now, when a Senate filibuster is looming, chaos is rocking the Muslim world, the President's sagging approval ratings, Desperate Housewives' killer finale and Britney's pregnancy could all use more intensive coverage? The first two, more than the last two, really.
The flushing sound that you hear is journalisitc integrity--it only sounds like the Quran.
super-duper all-Queen photo edition
"So long--and thanks for all the--crikey--was that fish, Phillip? Cuz they 'ave the mad cow thing, here!"
You've got quite a mouth on ya, for an overweight crippled conservative! Who do you think you are? Bob Dole?
Hot Washington Sex blog Alert! Here's the blog, and here's the requisite lawsuit details!
Paging the Fab Five--stat!!!
Can we just go back in time, when naked Asian people were only shown in National Geographic? For the children, really!
Last show ever?
We've heard that before. Don't let the door hit you in the pasties on the way out.
...and finally...Santorum. That frothy, frothy...
oh wait...not that Santorum...this one isn't necessarily the by-product of anal sex, though it would explain a lot. Ole Rick's gotten himself in the headlines again, this time by using the N-word to describe Democrats. No--the other N-word. He "meant no offence", so--bygones, right? I mean, it wasn't like when the Democrats dropped the N-bomb, two months ago, right Rick? Hypocrite!!! It's not like he was blaming Dems for 9/11, or physically threatening them, or labeling (libeling, surely) half of the country as being treasonous--like Ann Coulter did.
Moving right along, wow...do you really think Angelina broke up Jen and Brad?
one more for the road--i needed a laugh
- The funniest thing ever written about Ann Coulter. Fiction, or not. Dirty as all-get-out, so don't read it at work, Liam!
- The funniest spoof of a single-panel comic strip.
- The second-funniest thing ever written about Ann Coulter. Does she deserve this? Perhaps not. I try not to judge. Aww, who's kidding who--this is funny!
'...get ready to stuff the only thing interesting about you into the sloppy end of my digestive tract."
’‘Which end is that?’
Monday, May 23, 2005
...and I woulda gotten away with it too--if it weren't for you pesky activist judges!!!
The Supremes have another go scheduled for the fall, trying to overturn a parental notification law in New Hampshire, for any woman under the age of 18 trying to obtain an abortion.
Quick question, then I'm off to bed:
Was the Abomination's stance on abortion in 1978 framed at all by his 15 year old ex-girlfriend's abortion, in 1971?
Talk about your "no children left behind"--sheesh.
Just so that we're clear, I will never ever ever ever ever begin an entry with the words "Andrew Sullivan has a wonderfully pithy comment...". Never. Replace "pithy" with "Tourette's-related" and you may be onto something, though.
I live to laugh.
I laugh to live.
Seriously, try both.
Who do you trust more? (Alternative question--which is most likely to be able to find his way out of a wet paper bag?)
Long Weekend--Day 3 of 4
I like time off from it just a wee bit more.
If you're like me, and you're taking it easy today, check out The Dude! It has nothing to do with the film The Big Lebowski, but fun just the same.
Or perhaps you'd like to view the latest "Boondocks" strip?
Or review the history of defecation in film?
Need any more reasons not to have kids? They're a buzzkill, for sure.
If you can't wait until tonight's 24, here's what happens. In the end, it kinda tastes like de-alcoholized wine.
Feel like going shopping? Check out the gift shop section of Betty Bower 's web site. Then, maybe take a gander at her prescription for preserving the sanctity of marriage.
Bush 5+, Liberal Media 0
First, the New York Times took a hit on journalistic ethics with the Jayson Blair fiasco.
Following what amounted to being found guilty in provoking a British scientist to kill himself, the world couldn't even count on the BBC anymore, either.
Then last fall, CBS and Dan Rather went down like the proverbial lead zeppelin. One must assume that the documents in question were known to be forged as the originals were long ago destroyed. Or am I reading too much into that?
Then, USA Today got into crap for doing pretty much the same thing, even though the White House had vetted some of the documents, and were satisfied of their authenticity. Of course, this wasn't the tabloid's first run-in with journalistic integrity issues.
Now, Newsweek takes a shot in the 'nads. The kicker here is that it is also being accused of helping to incite violence in Muslim countries, and tarnished the image of the USA. Charges of the pot calling the kettle 19 shades of black ensued. That, and the State department kinda sorta denied a link between the story and the violence. But never mind...hey, have you seen Saddam in his undies?!? (No link provided--I'm sick of seeing it.)
One must also take into consideration the staggering number--58 right now--of journalists killed in Iraq covering the rape of that nation. Do they paint fucking targets on their heads, or something? Dan Rather went to Vietnam in the '60's, and managed to retire in 2005, alive! After Daniel Pearle died, why would anyone take the Iraq assignment? The real story was back in the US anyway.
The result, one could surmise, is that even if a media outlet wanted to oppose the Abomination, they no longer have the credibility or manpower to pull it off. Citizens of the blogosphere tend, on the most part, to be a bit more media savvy than the non-bloggers/Wal-Mart shoppers. That still leaves the Red states to fend for themselves. On the upside, fewer and fewer people are watching Fox News. Not even a dead pope, the Terry Schiavo death watch, or a brain-dead vegetable's presidential news conference could keep them glued to their sets.
Short of Wolf Blitzer finding his soul and pulling a Howard Beale impersonation one night, we'll be stuck with a neutered fourth estate for a generation to come. Come back, Walter Cronkite!
Sunday, May 22, 2005
As with Sinead's 1992 SNL appearance, where she tore up Pope John Paul II's picture, following an a cappella rendition of Bob Marley's song "War" and calling him "the real enemy" (of what, she never really said), Oberst seemed to have surprised Leno with his performance of "When the President Talks to God". (be patient with the upload, and the sound and picture quality aren't the best--but well worth it!) Scrap that, try this link instead--much better!
Not on any of the two albums released by Bright Eyes (so far!!!) this year, the song tears into Bush and his version of Christianity. It also plays on the notion that Bush feels that he has a direct relationship with Him. I had always thought that God would've possessed better grammatical and public speaking skills than Georgie. I digress, of course.
This song is definitely written in the angry folk style that bore "This Land Is My Land" and "Masters of War". Leno didn't say much after the song ended--the audience however, cheered loudly. The morning-after posters on the Tonight Show's web-page had a mixed reaction. Perhaps they would have enjoyed seeing Jessica Simspon instead.
It had taken me some time to give Oberst a listen. At first, I thought that the kid was all hype--every article written about him that I had read was glowing and full of hyperbole. Skepticism strikes again. I gave in, and downloaded some songs. (Nothing ventured, nothing gained, right?) The kid was good--bought some albums. Loved the albums, read some more about him. Now, I was impressed.
Just so I don't end this one on a totally political tone, I present :
It turns out that I'm Dr. Julius Hibbert.
see you later, kids!