Saturday, May 07, 2005
What I'm listening to right now...
- "Cannonball", the Breeders
- Highway 61 Revisited, Bob Dylan --Matt Mays joined w/ Blue Rodeo to sing Just Like Tom Thumb's Blues last Sunday night at the Corel Centre--nice Dylan-voice on ya, Matt!
- "TVC15", David Bowie
- I'm Wide Awake, It's Morning, Bright Eyes
- "He Stopped Loving Her Today", George Jones --when death is the only option
- "Bridge Over Troubled Water", Aretha Franklin -- Simon and Garfunkle who?
- "Precious", The Pretenders --the real reason why they were inducted into the R & R Hall of Fame, and not lame Sonny and Cher covers --grrrrr, Chrissie--grrrrrrrr!
- "How Come U Don't Call Me Anymore?", Prince
- "Cry to Me", Solomon Burke --cuz it's good to talk
- The Duel, Allison Moorer -- beyond cool, that's all I can say. And not too harsh on the eyes, either!
- "Blow Up The Outside World", Soundgarden --who among us hasn't had a day like that?
- "Chances Are", Johnny Mathis -- everytime I hear this song, it reminds me of our first falling-into-love dates-ahh--makes me swoony-like! I'm a big romantic fool. Shoot me!
- "Since You've Been Gone", Kelly Clarkson --oh, as if you can resist it? Sheesh! It's not like I'm a Clay-mate or anything! I'm only human, and it's being played every 36 seconds, somewhere!
So, what's on your playlist right now?
Everyone, please say hello to my friend Liam...
There, I've done my duty now, right?
Question time: Kicking any addiction is difficult. I quit smoking over two years ago, but still need to have a few if I drink too much. Do you think Jimmy Swaggart still gets the urge to visit hookers after Sunday preaching time? For old times' sake?
Some intense TV viewing this past week, folks! Can you dig?!?
The Jack Bauer Power Hour continues to kick serious buttage. First, there's the train derailment to kick the season off, then the kidnapping of the Sectary of Defence, then the meltdown of a nuclear reactor, then downtown LA is turned into a shooting gallery during a blackout, then Air Force One is shot down and the President is seriously injured and replaced by an even bigger pansy-ass than GWB, Tony and Michelle are reunited (and it feels so awkward!!!), and now frickin' Jack invades Chinese territory and kidnaps a Chinese national--hooooooo-eeeeeee, what's next? Seriously, how are they going to top the emotional roller coaster that this season has been without ressurecting Nina and Dina? That combination would be sooooooooooo cool!!!
I resisted the Veronica Mars train for too long, but I finally came around just in time to see some pretty cool stories. So, who's the killer, folks? Logan? My feeling is no--he's too cool of a character to ditch after one season; Duncan should be, so that's too obvious; Wallace is like a male, athletic Willow, and they waited six years to do anything real nasty with her--and besides, Vee needs a confidante; Weevil--nah; Big Daddy Kane--maybe...the list goes on...it would be so cool if they brought on a character named Leland Palmer right now--that would solve everything!
Lost lost me this week--it's been three frickin' weeks, and no time had passed at all on the show? Seriously, Lost writer-dudes--can we get Hurley-dude to say more than just "Dude"? Jorge is comedic gold--use him better. He's a gifted-enough actor that he actually brings out energy in whoever he's onscreen with at the time. I'm really looking forward to Michelle Rodriguez joining the cast, and bitch-slapping the hell out of Shannon. I'm struggling with caring about what's in the hatch, and--shades of "The Secret of Mulder's sister"--not really willing to wait nine years for a non-pay-off. Five and half, tops--okay JJ?
Idol. "Scott--you're going home." Shock? How? Seriously. Suck. Ass. Much?
The sight of Julie making Eggs Benedict for an unimpressed Caleb--priceless. The sight of Julie tossing the same said Eggs Benedict in the trash--without pausing even for a nanosecond to think of the under-nourished children of the world--hiiiiiiiiiiiiilarious, I tell ya! Hiiiiiiiiiiiiilarious. Trey's so bad, but do we want him to be good, or does his badness only serve as a reminder of how much Ryan's cleaned up? Why is it that TV alcoholics never get purple-nose? Or threaten members of their "families" with knives? (That last one's personal--and still a bit raw, thanks.)Just asking.
Can we just skip to the Alias episode where Spy-Mommy comes back? I am living only for the moment where Syd, Irina and Nadia take on bad guys together, wearing oddly-matching alias costumes, and in the background is playing "We Are Family", or maybe even "Bad Girls". Killer. They won't kill Jack, but they'll have fun making us think that they will. The Rambaldi schtick? No more, end it. Please. While you're at it, no more surprise Derevko sisters--we've had our fill of non-Spy Mommys. Super Marshall-Field Agent? Cute, once. NEVERDOIT AGAIN. At this point--and I'm sorry to say Vartan-fans, but Vaughan could die next episode and I really wouldn't miss him. Imagine the drama--if you will--if he were killed by a back-from-the-dead Danny? Sidebar--and this wasn't in my original draft of this post--but what ever happened to Syd's daytime life? I thought that the twist of this show was to watch her balance her work and her life--can't she go and be a crime-fighting teacher like she intended to be?
I'm going to watch my new Orgazmo DVD now--c u later, alligators!
Friday, May 06, 2005
Is it an insult or a testament to Paula Abdul that sleeping with her still didn't make Corrie Clark a star?
Yay! Threepeat! Great, now GWB will want one too, and some sad sack will have to explain the 22nd amendment to him. Oh to be a fly on that wall...
Dear Stephen Harper*: I have only one question for you sir, and it's a simple one--did you fire any of your staff members for booking you at this event?
*Stephen Harper is really against Gay Marriage. Like, it would topple his understanding of what life should be about if Tom and Craig or Lily and Michelle were to hitch up. Dude looks as if he'll just frickin' explode if the Bill goes through. I'm not talking rantin'-and-ravin' upset--I'm talking Alien-bursting forth-from-John Hurt's chest explode!
Related item? Leave the little boys alone, please, Mr. Mayor! "I am a law-abiding citizen." ?!? Not all of them, dude! Sheesh !!!
This is how they should be remembered--class act, Dude!
Aww--so cute! I'll end it here. Cute kitty-shots are always a safe exit.
Thursday, May 05, 2005
you don't really know me...
I thought that an introduction was in order.
But, you still don't know me. Not really.
I don't know you either.
I want this thing to be fun to read, but I don't do wild and crazy things--leave that to Ashton Kutcher, or the Jackass guys. I have an amazing wife, I dwell in suburbia, my job pays the bills and keeps me off of the street, and I've beaten down most of my personal demons--so it ain't gonna be a roller coaster ride here, folks! If you want to witness a train wreck waiting to happen, check out this site!
I have a few things to say, though--and if you want to hear more, just say so. There's a comment area at the bottom of each post. If what you see here is boring the living crap out of you, I'll try to liven things up. If I make you smile, or tick you off (as a Gemini, I'm very comfortable with both results from a single sentence!), just tell me.
Other than that, this is for me. You're on my time, folks.
Now, it's sharing time. I have a fear, and have had it most of my life--I'm afraid of going bald. No big deal right--most men feel that way, yes? But, I've shared something now. You know me a bit more than you did before. I don't like broccoli. I snore loudly and nightly. I know most of the lyrics to the "Grease" soundtrack, and Pink Floyd's "The Wall", but I failed grade 11 math.
This feels good.
I am neither a fiscal nor a social conservative. I loathe all that Bill O'Reilly stands for. I have to admit that I was secretly hoping that the Boston Red Sox would have choked--yet very happy that they didn't. (More Gemini conundrums...sigh!)
I have a horrible singing voice...but just try to take the mike away from me on Karaoke night!
I'm shy. Except when I'm not.
I'm a bit like you. Except when I'm not.
I'm glad that we've had this moment together.
Don't be a stranger, and I promise not to be one either.
Wednesday, May 04, 2005
Please stay, Mr. Broadbent!
Why??? Is it something that we said? I know that Lucille isn't feeling the greatest. God knows, you've devoted more of your life to politics than any of the whipper-snappers around today-- with the possible exceptions of Martin and Myron Thompson. (Trust me, that is the last time I will ever mention you and them in the same sentence!!!)
You deserve the rest. Thanks for coming back, and hopefully you'll get to stay til the new year. I used to walk past your home on Laurier Avenue when I was in university--not saying that I was peeping in, but your den looked really comfortable. You've been a real inspiration to me. Thank you for all that you've given us, and don't be a stranger!
Why??? Don't the Red Staters read the damn newspapers? How can that many people (not counting the votes ransacked by Diebold!) be fooled by Rove's trickery and Swift Boater B.S? I thought that I could be strong--only four more years, and then Hillary will rescue us all--but I'm weak, Jesus--please do something. It makes me physically ill to hear his voice, to listen to the Tourette's-ish raping of the English language.
Why??? In any other country, this man would be hailed as a hero. I think that if people are going to be more successful in temporarily shutting Ann up, they'll have to throw more than faux pastries at her. Let me suggest infants--and upon launching one at her, shout out that it's a registered Democrat! Watch as her real fangs come out.
Of course, I'm only as serious about this suggestion as Ann was, when she suggested that Timothy McVeigh should have walked into the New York Times building instead.
Why??? Bunch of lame-assed "pop-opera" singers. The man is, was , and will always be the savior and future of rock and roll! Il Divo can kiss my ass!
And, for the love of all that is holy, WHY??? Every single time that family values and the sanctity of marriage is brought up in a conversation EVER AGAIN, I will think of Brit and Kev, and baby Brev--and shudder.
MOM CHECKS IN
She sent me this link in an e-mail. From anyone else, it would have been annoying. From Mom, big sniffles. It was like an e-hug--I swear, I'll call more often! And I'm sorry that I forged your signature back in high school! And you'll get something nice for Mother's Day! You can too, readers--click here!!!
She always encouraged me to become a writer--this is just a bit different. Thanks for believing in me, Mommy!
Tuesday, May 03, 2005
His Name Is Prince...and he is FUNKY...
There was (believe it or not) a time before Prince, and it was not funky. People still danced, and sang, and got busy--but not as often, or as well. One day, our Prince came (and came, and came...sorry!) along, and things were better. Double entendres abounded, purple and paisley were worn by men who never would have before...it was a glorious time.
There was a brief space of time (October 1984 to April 1985) when being openly into Prince was not only acceptable, but a requirement for coolness. Sales for hair styling products soared. Androgeny-lite had hit Suburbia, bigtime! Everyone was doing the hand gestures for "I Would Die 4 U". UB40's "Red Red Wine" wasn't being played nearly as often ("Let the Music Play"??? Another matter altogether--I think that it finally stopped being played sometime in late 2002) . At one point, every musical act was being produced by him. Ahh, Sheila E. -- good times! The older albums (For You, 1999, Dirty Mind, Controversy) were brought out at the hipper parties, with Controversy's "Do Me Baby" as the all-time fun song to play when things got...um...mellow.
But then, things got weird--never Jacko weird, though. More on my musical development will come in future posts, but after the release of Around theWorld in A Day, there was a backlash from the neophytes. It had nothing todo with the quality of music--IMHO, he didn't hit his musical peak untilDiamonds and Pearls 6 years later--or tabloid headlines. Rather, people justmoved on--Dire Straits had just released "Brothers In Arms", U2 was justabout to make it big with The Unforgettable Fire--the zeitgeist-tide had ebbed. It's not as though he had stopped writing good songs, but that has never mattered much to the masses. Bunch of fickle bastards.
I hung in there, though--through Parade, Sign 'O' the Times, Lovesexy (and the Black Album, too!), Batman OST and Graffiti Bridge. With Diamonds andPearls though, I had finally greeted an album with a "meh" reaction. Had I moved on, too, moved away from he who had meant so much to me? (We share the same birthday, Prince and I--he's exactly 10 years older--just an FYI, it was never the reason that I got into him.) So, I found Grunge, and louder stuff,with some Alt-Country and Blues thrown in for good measure--and just stopped buying Prince albums. Of course, soon after, they stopped being Prince albums, and became "The Artist" albums--but the less said about this time, the better.
It took viewing Sandra Bernhard's musical-documentary-movie "Without You,I'm Nothing" (from her live stage show of the same name) for me to finally rediscover the wonder, the glory, the "umph" that is Prince. The rest of the movie is a blur--you'll see why in a moment--but the finale is astonishing. Sandra has never been a stunning woman, however when the camera pulls in on her, nude (but for red-white-and blue panties and pasties with tassels) taut form, and the slow, haunting lead-in to Little Red Corvette is heard; she is magnetic, a goddess. No synthesizers, just full-on rock. Without mimicry or mocking, she "got" him, the song, and the message. She gyrated as though her life depended on it--who knows, maybe it did? But it was enough--my interest was rekindled.
All of this before Alicia Keys re-made "How Come U Don't Call Me Anymore?",too! People re-making songs is nothing new, but people owning the re-make--causing you to temporarily forget the original--happens only a few times in a decade.
Soooooooooooooooo...what I'm trying to say is that, after all this time, heis still the funkiest little man in show business--Michael Eisner notwithstanding!
To anyone who has listened to this happy/haunting song, the melody is infectious, and will stay with you for days at a time, with the repetitious chorus of "La-la-la-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la-la-la-la". I pose the following thesis--that Kylie is in fact saying that her lover, and the thoughts of her lover are as invasive and unshakeable and intoxicating as the song itself.
The first time that you hear the chorus is like a first date--new, inviting and unknown; by the second chorus, familiarity has sunk in, and yet you want it to go on. By the end, you're tired, ready for something new--anything less annoying than the same, repititious notes-- and yet it has crawled under your skin, and has become a part of you. The song ends--it is over, and you're likely onto something new--but it lingers still. You can be drying your hair, or clipping your toenails, and it is still with you.
Like the refrain in Cole Porter's "Everytime We Say Goodbye", where the notes match the lyrics "How strange the change/From Major to Minor", the chorus to "...Outta My Head" is twinned perfectly with the subject of its' lyric. The pounding bass, the euphoric rise of her voice--wow! Pure pop genius, and neither Phil Spector nor Michael Jackson had anything to do with it.
Alternatively, if one were to take a more pessimistic view, you could propose that the author of the song just couldn't think of enough lyrics, and took the "La-la-la" cop-out instead. Naw, that couldn't be it!
Either way, it's part of what I'm listening to, right now!
Next up, my enduring love of all things Prince!
(Did you expect Britney? Sheesh!)
Monday, May 02, 2005
Celebrity Death Watch and other stuff...
Question: Is the Killers' singer, Brandon Flowers too beautiful for rock? Remember when rock stars looked like Keith Richards, or Mick Jagger--or Ringo Starr? Or Marilyn Manson? Maybe one day, he'll get addicted to coke--or worse, Courtney Love--and then he won't be so pretty no more. I say that with the utmost respect.
Democratic Underground's "Top 10 Conservative Idiots" always kicks comedic butt. They outdo themselves in the current issue, however. Granted, the Texas Tool provided them with great material from his recent press conference:
On natural gas:
BUSH: Gas is - can only be transported by ship, though, when you liquefy it, when you put it in solid form.
BUSH: It's in our country's interests to find those who would do harm to us and get them out of harm's way.
BUSH: Thank you for your answers.
After getting ridiculously drunk with some of my employees on Friday night, I was told today that it was nice to see that I had a human side. Whenever faced with a back-handed compliment, I get all sarcastic--I retorted that it was a "recent addition", and walked away. Why me, God?
Jon Stewart--Woody Guthrie for the 21st Century!!!
The medium may differ, but the message is the same. The people are angry, the establishment is corrupt, and things aren't very good right now. If only Jon could play the harmonica...
Most week nights, the Daily Show unspins the news spinners' lies, half-truths and double-speak. It's often painful to watch the messages unfurl--the recent shot of George Bush escorting Prince Abdullah through a garden by holding his hand, after kissing him twice went further towards defining the true Bush-Saudi relationship than the entire content of Michael Moore's film "Fahrenheit 9/11". Maybe gay lovers, definitely more than just friends...should one suppose that UK Prime Minister Tony Blair is somewhere thinking, "George never kissed me in front of the cameras"?
Stewart's appearance on CNN's "Crossfire" probably had more to do with Tucker Carlson's eventual firing than any other one factor. The seething contempt Tucker displayed towards Jon while the guest was requesting that political shows cut out the animosity and spin was simultaneously hilarious and scary. It was during the height of the 2004 Presidential "Election" (quotation marks intentional), so emotions were running high. On a segment before Stewart's arrival, the other host, Paul Begala, pointed out some apparent hypocrisy over the name dropping of Dick Cheney's lesbian daughter, Mary. Soon after Jon's arrival on the show, the topic quickly turned to what responsibility the Daily Show had to "grill" John Kerry during his appearance. In Tucker's opinion, Jon was too light. Apparently, true political discourse in the 21st Century requires leaving your guest/enemy bleeding anally, and crying profusely.
In closing, Jon Stewart is smart, hip, sarcastic, moderately humble (he's still a celebrity--just not a Paris Hilton-type celebrity) and most importantly--trustworthy--WHHAAAAAAAAAAAAT? Someone on TV, talking about news and politics and world events who we trust?!? That is why he's so important right now!
We need him more than he needs us, but we help to pay the bills. So check him out, Monday to Thursday on the Comedy Channel, 11pm Eastern, or on most CTV stations at 12:05 am.
In other news...does it ever feel like they're thiiiiiiiiiis close to just marching across the border and claiming us as their own?
On "24" tonight, Super-Jack must (highlight text for spoilers!!!) choose between saving the life of a super-bad guy or his girlfriend's husband!Decisions, decisions. Don't tell me that I ever gave too much away!
Finally, here's a link to a really fine site: yes, you are seeing what you think you're seeing--a picture of GWB made entirely of smaller pictures of anuses. I'm jealous that I (a) didn't think of it first, and (b) would never have been so patient to put the whole thing together. It's my current desktop photo, and My Cool Photo of the Week tm.
Sunday, May 01, 2005
Blue Rodeo--Corel Centre
Like A Virgin
Wow...my own blog.
The rush has passed. Welcome to my own private e-corner. One of the few places where I don't have to watch what I say, and--if you stick around, it's cuz you want to be here. Talk about a captive audience.
Just so there aren't any surprises, this is what I'm probably going to talk about:
- pop culture
- hot TV shows like "Lost", "Veronica Mars", "Desperate Housewives" and "Battlestar Galactica"
- cool music that I'm listening to right now (currently that includes Bright Eyes, Radiohead, Allison Moorer and David Bowie--but this is subject to change)
- Canadian and global politics, but no rantings--I promise!
- neat stuff that I do
- my dog (picture coming soon!)
- if I run out of interesting things to talk about, my job will be used as a last resort--but I get paid to be there, you don't--so why put you through that?
Time now for a question: Has my life up to now been mere prelude to the greatness that will be "Revenge of the Sith"? If so, will I be reduced to a husk when it inevitably SUCKS and DISAPPOINTS?
I'm sure that George tried his best--I would never want to suggest that he's only in it for the licensing fees and unending re-releases--but could anything real (reel?) live up to our expectations 25 years or more in the making? Short of beheading JarJar in the first four minutes, what could/can/will he do to meet our needs/wants/desires?
I'm listening to the album "Digital Ash In A Digital Urn" by Bright Eyes right now. I have to admit that I'm a recent addition to the "Praise Conor Oberst" parade, but the kid is a genius, all of the hype is true, and no one song of his sounds remotely like another. Neither are they copies of other artists' songs. I look forward to his long career, and seeing him live someday in my own city.
When did Gay Marriage replace Abortion as the splinter issue within North American politics? It is the underlying issue that is driving Canada perilously close to another election. Has anyone stopped to ask, "What's the big deal?" ? Beyond what some people claim the Bible says about the subject, it's just marriage. My hetero marriage is no one's business but mine and my wife's. Anyone who's been in one can attest that marriage is not for everyone--so if you really want to, do it, you should be "allowed" to--they don't all work out, but most do, and most make people happier while in one, than when not. (Pardon the uncomfortable grammatical structure of that last sentence, please.) Uptight white men should stop withholding rights from people that scare them. We'll all be better off when they do. Maybe then fear won't be as strong a motivator in our crazy world.
We're off to see the Great Canadian Band tm Blue Rodeo tonight, for the umpteenth time, and proud of it. The guys always put on a great show, they have a new album out, and we have 2nd row floor seats! I'm 36 years old, and seating still matters. Boys never grow up. To my credit, I don't hold up a lighter during slow songs anymore. Call it progress if you want to...
To end on a light note, ponder for a moment the splendor of love that is Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes. Rumours aside--Katie, he's 42, twice-divorced, and rather prone to taking legal action. Is this the best that you can do? Just asking.